• Buffy: "Giles, I'm 16 years old. I don't wanna die."
  BTVS // Prophecy Girl

• Cordelia: "This is all about me! Me me me!"
  BTVS // Invisible Girl

• Buffy: "I'll be back in a minute."
  BTVS // Welcome to the Hellmouth

• Giles: "What do you want?"
  Owen: "Uh, a book?"
  Giles: "Oh!"
  Buffy: "See, this is a school, and we have students, and they check out books, and then they learn things."
  Giles: "I was beginning to suspect that was a myth."
  BTVS // Never Kill a Boy on the First Date

• Giles: "I'd much rather be at home with a cup of bovril and a good book."
  BTVS // Welcome to the Hellmouth

• Buffy: "Someone emailed me."
  BTVS // I Robot, You Jane

• Xander: "I'm just gonna go home, lie down, and listen to country music. The music of pain."
  BTVS // Prophecy Girl

• Xander: "For I am Xander, the king of cretins. May all lesser cretins bow before me."
  BTVS // The Witch

• Giles: "Demon, COME!"
  BTVS // The Witch

• Angel: "Don't worry, I don't bite."
  BTVS // Welcome to the Hellmouth

• Willow: "He read Emily Dickinson? He's sensitive yet manly."
  BTVS // Never Kill a Boy on the First Date

• Cordy: "Excuse me? Who gave you permission to exist?"
  BTVS // Welcome to the Hellmouth

• Giles: "These musty old books have a great deal more to say than any of your fabulous webpages."
  BTVS // I Robot, You Jane

• Buffy: "I just don't like putting you guys in danger."
  Xander: "I laugh in the face of danger! Then I hide until it goes away."
  BTVS // The Witch

• Buffy: "Mom, I've accepted that you've had sex. I am not ready to know that you had Farrah hair."
  Joyce: "This is Gidget hair. Don't they teach you anything in history?"
  Buffy the Vampire Slayer // The Witch

• Buffy: "I didn't say I'd never slay another vampire. It's not like I have all of these fluffy bunny feelings for them, I'm just not going to get way extracurricular with it."
  Buffy the Vampire Slayer // Welcome to the Hellmouth

• Giles: "Very well, then. Follow your hormones if you want."
  Buffy the Vampire Slayer // Never Kill a Boy on the First Date

• Xander: "We're right behind you, only further back."
  Buffy the Vampire Slayer // The Witch

• Buffy: "So you come to *me* for help?"
  Cordy: "Because, you're always around when all of this weird stuff in happening, and I know you're very strong. And, you've got all those weapons. I was kind of hoping you were in a gang."
  BTVS // Invisible Girl

• Buffy: "Get down with your bad self."
  BTVS // The Witch

• Buffy: "Now, we can do this the hard way...or, well, actually there's just the hard way."
  Darla: "That's fine with me."
  Buffy: "Are you sure? This is not going to be pretty. We're talking violence, strong language, adult content."
  BTVS // Angel

• Buffy: "How's it goin'?"
  BTVS // Never Kill a Boy on the First Date

• Buffy: "Hi, I'm an enormous slut!"
  BTVS // Welcome to the Hellmouth

• Xander: "What, I can't have information sometimes?"
  Giles: "Well, it's somewhat unprecedented."
  BTVS // I Robot, You Jane

• Giles: "The earth is doomed."
  BTVS // Welcome to the Hellmouth

• Buffy: "I did get kicked out of school. I'm just wacky that way."
  Buffy the Vampire Slayer // The Witch

• Xander: "You were looking at my neck."
  Angel: "What?"
  Xander: "You were checking out my neck, I saw that."
  Angel: "No, I wasn't."
  Xander: "Just keep your distance, pal."
  Angel: "I wasn't looking at your neck."
  Xander: "I told you to eat before we left."
  BTVS // Prophecy Girl

• Buffy: "I want to be a macho man. Mach-ooh, hey, juice! Mmm...quality juice. Not from concentrate."
  BTVS // The Witch

• Giles: "I'll be back in the middle ages."
  Jenny: "Did you ever leave?"
  BTVS // I Robot, You Jane

• Giles: "They came after me, but I was more than a match for them."
  Buffy: "Meaning?"
  Giles: "I hid."
  Buffy the Vampire Slayer // Never Kill a Boy on the First Date

• Giles: "Nice kitty."
  BTVS // The Witch

• Giles: "He thought it would behoove me to have more contact with the students. I did try to explain that my vocational choice of librarian was a deliberant attempt to minimize said contact."
  Buffy the Vampire Slayer // The Puppet Show

• Buffy: "So, you like to party with the students? Isn't that kinda skanky?"
  Buffy the Vampire Slayer // Welcome to the Hellmouth

• Willow: "Does anybody mind if I pass out?"
  BTVS // Harvest

• Buffy: "She certainly looks perky."
  Xander: "Yeah, color in the cheeks, bounce in the step. I don't like it. It's not healthy."
  BTVS // I Robot, You Jane

• Cordelia: "Who gave you permission to exist? Do I horn in on your private discussions? No. Why? Because you're boring."
  BTVS // The Harvest

• Buffy: "You need a personality, stat."
  Buffy the Vampire Slayer // Welcome to the Hellmouth

• Xander: "Nah, I gotta be a man and ask her out. You know, I gotta stop giving her ID bracelets, subtle innuendos, taking polaroids outside of her bedroom window late at night. That last part is a joke."
  BTVS // The Witch

• Xander: "I would give anything to be able to turn invisible. Well, I wouldn't use my powers to beat people up, I'd use my powers to protect the girls' locker room."
  Buffy the Vampire Slayer // Invisible Girl

• Xander: "This is just too much. I mean, yesterday my life is like, 'Uh oh, pop quiz." Today it's rain of toads."
  Buffy the Vampire Slayer // The Harvest

• Cordelia: "I really like your outfit!"
  Willow: "No, you don't."
  Cordelia: "No, I don't. But I really need a favor."
  Buffy the Vampire Slayer // Prophecy Girl

• Cordelia: "Hello, salty goodness! Pick up the phone, call 911. That boy is gonna need some serious oxygen after I'm through with him."
  BTVS // Never Kill a Boy on the First Date

• Giles: "Alright, I'll just jump in my time machine, go back to the twelth century, and ask the vampires to postpone their ancient prophecy for a few days while you take in dinner and a show."
  Buffy: "Okay, at this point you're abusing sarcasm."
  BTVS // Never Kill a Boy on the First Date

• Willow: "I have to sign off. I'll talk to you later."
  BTVS // I Robot, You Jane

• Buffy: "Well, in that case, I won't wear my button that says 'I'm the slayer, ask me how!'"
  BTVS // Never Kill a Boy on the First Date

• Xander: "Buffy. Come on. Wake up and smell the seduction. It's the oldest trick in the book."
  Buffy: "What, saving my life? Getting slashed in the ribs?"
  Xander: "Duh."
  BTVS // Angel

• Buffy: "So. Bye."
  BTVS // Welcome to the Hellmouth

• Buffy: "Besides, I can just tell something's wrong. My spider sense is tingling."
  Giles: "Your...spider sense?"
  Buffy: "Pop culture reference. Sorry."
  BTVS // I Robot, You Jane

• Buffy: "I may be dead, but I'm still pretty."
  BTVS // Prophecy Girl

• Giles: "Well, that was interesting."
  BTVS // The Witch

• Giles: "Those boys aren't sparklingly normal as it is."
  BTVS // I Robot, You Jane

• Cordy: "God! What is your childhood trauma?!"
  BTVS // Welcome to the Hellmouth

• Willow: "Well, when I'm with a boy I like, it's hard for me to say anything cool or witty or at all. I can usually make a few vowel sounds, but then I have to go away."
  Buffy the Vampire Slayer // Welcome to the Hellmouth

• Buffy: "Nah. I think I'll take on your traditional roll and watch."
  Xander: "And mock."
  Willow: "And laugh."
  Buffy the Vampire Slayer // The Puppet Show

• Buffy: "Hi. I'm an enormous slut. Hello, would you like a copy of the Watchtower?"
  Buffy the Vampire Slayer // Welcome to the Hellmouth

• Darla: "Who the hell are you?"
  BTVS // Welcome to the Hellmouth

• Buffy: "Works for me."
  BTVS // The Harvest

• Master: "You were destined to die, it was written!"
  Buffy: "What can I say, I flunked the written."
  BTVS // Prophecy Girl

• Xander screaming.
  BTVS // Nightmares

• Giles: "I assume all the spells are reversed. It was my first casting, so I may have got it wrong."
  Buffy: "You saved my life. You were a god."
  BTVS // The Witch

^ Top ^

• Xander: "You know, computers are on the way out. I think paper's gonna make a big comeback."
  Willow: "And the abacus."
  Xander: "Yeah, you know, you don't see enough abaci."
  BTVS // The Dark Age

• Giles: "Yes, well, I'll see you all in the library later. We'll continue this discussion."
  Willow: "About trout."
  BTVS // When She Was Bad

• Spike: "Our man Angel here likes to talk, but he's not much for action. All hat and no cattle."
  BTVS // I Only Have Eyes For You

• Buffy: "I wasn't gonna use violence. I don't always use violence. Do I?"
  Xander: "The important thing is you believe that."
  BTVS // Inca Mummy Girl

• Xander: ::stammering::
  Buffy: "I can translate American Salivating Boy talk. He says you're beautiful"
  Xander: ::stammer::
  Buffy: "You're welcome."
  BTVS // Incan Mummy Girl

• Xander: "I'm constant in my affections. Amy Yip at the waterslide park."
  BTVS // The Dark Age

• Spike: “People still fall for that Anne Rice routine.”
  BTVS // School Hard

• Spike: "Are you all asleep?!"
  BTVS // Lie to Me

• Cordelia: "Whatever's causing the Joan Collin's 'tude, deal with it. Embrace the pain, spank your inner moppet, whatever, but get over it."
  BTVS // When She Was Bad

• Giles: "I'm really very attracted to you."
  BTVS // The Dark Age

• Xander: "Are we overlooking the fact that she may be very attracted to me? She's possessed."
  BTVS // When She Was Bad

• Buffy: "You know, I always say that a day without an autopsy is like a day without sunshine."
  BTVS // Bad Eggs

• Buffy: "Oh, Valentine's Day is just a cheap gimmick to sell cards and chocolate."
  Amy: "Bad breakup, huh?"
  Buffy: "Believe me when I say, 'uh-huh'."
  BTVS // Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered

• Drusilla: "Grrrragh. Bad dog."
  BTVS // What’s My Line 2

• Spike: "I'm a bad, rude man."
  BTVS // Lie to Me

• Spike: "There's no deal without Dru."
  Buffy: "She killed Kendra!"
  Spike: "Dru bagged a slayer? She didn't tell me! Good for her! Though not from your perspective, I suppose..."
  BTVS // Becoming 2

• Oz: "See, our band's kinda moving towards this new sound where...we suck, so...practice."
  BTVS // Surprise

• Jonathan: "We're supposed to get some books. On Stalin."
  Xander: "Does this look like a Barnes & Noble?"
  Giles: "This is a school library, Xander."
  Xander: "Since when?"
  BTVS // Passion

• Giles: "Look, it's classic battle strategy to throw one's opponent off his game. He's just trying to provoke you. To taunt you, to goad you into some mishap of some sort."
  Xander: "The nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah approach to battle?"
  BTVS // Passion

• Giles: "Bay City Rollers. Now that's music."
  BTVS // The Dark Age

• Xander: "Buffy, I feel a pre-birthday spanking coming on."
  Jenny: "I'd curb that impulse if I were you, Xander."
  Xander: "Check, cancel spanking."
  BTVS // Surprise

• Cordelia: "I was totally beachless for a month and a half. No one has suffered like I have suffered."
  BTVS // When She Was Bad

• Xander: "Willow, you are the best human ever! I adore you! Well, that's the cookies talkin', but you rock!"
  BTVS // Ted

• Spike: "It's a big rock. Can't wait to tell my friends. They don't have a rock this big."
  BTVS // Becoming 1

• Spike: "I need to bring in the big guns."
  BTVS // What's My Line

• Buffy: "I lost a friend tonight!"
  Spike: "I wasn't in on that raiding party!"
  Buffy: "And I may lose more! The whole earth might be sucked into hell and you want my help because your girlfriend's a big ho?!"
  BTVS // Bargaining Pt 2

• Whistler: "So what are we, helpless? Puppets? No. The big moments are gonna come, you can't help that. It's what you do afterwards that counts. That's when you find out who you are."
  BTVS // Becoming

• Willow: "I mean why else would she be acting like such a B-I-T-C-H."
  Giles: "Willow, I think we’re all a little too old to be spelling things out."
  Xander: "A bitca?"
  BTVS // When She Was Bad

• Cordelia: "What an ordeal. And you know what the worst part is? It stays with you forever. No matter what they tell you, none of that rust and blood and grime comes out. I mean, you can dry clean til judgement day. You are living with those stains."
  Jenny: "Yeah, that's the worst part of being hung upside down by a vampire who wants to slit your throat. The stains."
  Cordelia: "I hear ya."
  BTVS // When She Was Bad

• Willow: "It didn't break! How come it didn't break?"
  Xander: "Which is another secret to conscientious egg care. A pot of scalding water and about eight minutes."
  Willow: "You boiled your young?"
  Xander: "Yeah! I know it sounds cruel, but sometimes you gotta be cruel to be kind!"
  BTVS // Bad Eggs

• Giles: "Wonderful. You work on your muscle tone while my brain dribbles out of my ears."
  BTVS // The Dark Age

• Willow: "Xander, what happened? Did Cordelia win another round in the broom closet?"
  Xander: "You're just a big bucket of funny, Will."
  BTVS // I Only Have Eyes For You

• Xander: "Buffy! Lady of Buffdom, Duchess of Buffonia, I am in awe! I completely renounce spandex!"
  BTVS // Halloween

• Xander: "Angel, Angel, Angel. Does every conversation we have have to come around to that freak? Hey, man, how are you doing?"
  Angel: "Buffy."
  Buffy: "Angel."
  Xander: "Xander."
  BTVS // Reptile Boy

• Spike: "If you ask me, I find myself prefering the old Buffy-whipped Angelus."
  BTVS // Passions

• Giles: "I really don't have time for these-"
  Buffy: "Miss Calendar said you were a babe!"
  Giles: "She said what?"
  Buffy: "She said that you were a hunk of burning something or other..."
  BTVS // Halloween

• Spike: "Can I eat him now, love?"
  BTVS // Lie to Me

• Spike: "Debase the beef canoe."
  BTVS // What's My Line

• Xander: "Those frat guys creep me."
  Willow: "You want to protect her?"
  Xander: "Mm-hmm."
  Willow: "And prove that you're just as good as those rich snotty guys?"
  Xander: "Mm-hmm."
  Willow: "Maybe catch an orgy?"
  Xander: "If it's on early."
  BTVS // Reptile Boy

• Xander: "Cavalry's here. Cavalry's a frightened guy with a rock, but it's here."
  BTVS // Becoming Pt 2

• Spike: "Someone's in the ceiling."
  BTVS // School Hard

• Willow: "I shall confront and expel all evil."
  Cordelia: "I shall *totally* confront and expel all evil."
  Xander: "Out of marrow and bone..."
  Buffy: "Out of house and home...never to come here again."
  BTVS // I Only Have Eyes For You

• Cordelia: "But you do know that you saw death."
  Willow: "Did it have an hourglass?"
  Xander: "Ooh, if he asks you to play chess, don't even do it. The guy's, like, a whiz."
  BTVS // Killed by Death

• Buffy: "Come on. Don't make me do the chick fight thing."
  BTVS // What's My Line 2

• Xander: "Well, you know, it's the whole 'sex leads to responsibility' thing, which I personally don't get. You gotta take care of the egg. It's a baby. You gotta keep it safe and teach it Christian values."
  Willow: "My egg is Jewish."
  Xander: "Then teach it that Dreidel song."
  BTVS // Bad Eggs

• Buffy: "I'm just saying there's something a little too clean about this clown."
  Willow: "He's a clean clown! I...have my own fun."
  BTVS // Ted

• Giles: "I appreciate your thoughts on the matter, in fact I...well, I *encourage* you to, to always challenge me when you feel it's appropriate. You should never be cowed by authority. Except, of course, in this instance, when I am clearly right and you are clearly wrong."
  BTVS // I Only Have Eyes For You

• Angel: "Buffy? What's going on? Where are we? I don't remember."
  Buffy: "Angel?"
  Angel: "You're hurt! Oh god. I feel like I haven't seen you in months. Everything's so muddled, I...What's happening?"
  Buffy: "Shhhh. Don't worry about it. I love you."
  Angel: "I love you."
  Buffy: "Close your eyes."
  BTVS // Becoming 2

• Xander: "But ho-ho's are a vital part of my cognitive process!"
  BTVS // What's My Line

• Buffy: "Don't look, okay, but...No, don't look! That guy over there is totally checking you out."
  Willow: "Oh, that's Oz. He's expressing computer nerd solidarity."
  BTVS // What's My Line

• Buffy: "Come to The Bronze before it opens or we make her our meal."
  Xander: "They're gonna cook her dinner?! I'll pretend I didn't say that..."
  BTVS // When She Was Bad

• Xander: "You big cootie!"
  BTVS // What's My Line 2

• Willow: "This shouldn't take long. I'm probably the only girl in school who has the coroner's office bookmarked as a favorite place."
  BTVS // Some Assembly Required

• Cordelia: "Why are these terrible things always happening to me?"
  Xander: "Karma!"
  BTVS // Some Assembly Required

• Buffy: "It's a good call. You should question him."
  Willow: "Really? Me? I'll crack him like an egg."
  BTVS // Go Fish

• Buffy: "Ow!"
  Joyce: "What's wrong?"
  Buffy: "I spent a good part of my allowance on this new cream rinse, and it's neither creamy nor rinsey."
  Joyce: "Life is hard, dear."
  Buffy: "Don't I know it. Is that a split end?"
  BTVS // School Hard

• Buffy: "You know what this means."
  Xander: "That Fonderin might actually beat Sunnydale in the crosstown bodycount competition this year?"
  BTVS // Some Assembly Required

• Spike: "Hello Cutie."
  BTVS // Becoming 2

• Xander: "I'm gonna do what any man would do about it. Somethin' damn manly."
  BTVS // Halloween

• Buffy: "You never ever got a single date in high school, did you?"
  Snyder: Your point being?"
  BTVS // Becoming

• Whistler: "You know, raiding an Englishman's fridge is like dating a nun. You're never gonna get the good stuff."
  BTVS // Becoming

• Cordelia: "I'm dating a swimmer from the Sunnydale swim team."
  Buffy: "You can die happy."
  BTVS // Go Fish

• Xander: "I'm dead as hell, and I'm not gonna take it anymore!"
  BTVS // I Only Have Eyes For You

• Drusilla: "I'll give you a seed if you sing."
  Spike: "The bird's dead, Dru. You left it in the cage, and you didn't feed it, and now it's all dead, just like the last one."
  BTVS // Lie to Me

• Xander: "Yeah, I'm gonna have to go with Dead Boy on this one."
  Angel: "Could you not call me that?"
  BTVS // Lie to Me

• Buffy: "The Hellmouth presents: Dead Guys On Ice."
  BTVS // What's My Line

• Cordelia: "And I can take a hint. What's the hint?"
  Giles: "To come back later."
  Cordelia: "Yeah, when you've visited decaf land."
  BTVS // The Dark Age

• Angelus: "No thanks. Been there, done that, deja vu just isn't what it used to be."
  BTVS // Passion

• Buffy: "A demon! A demon! A demon!"
  Willow: "It's not a demon, it's a car!"
  Buffy: "What does it want?"
  BTVS // Halloween

• Cordelia: "Wait, what does this one do?"
  Giles: "It asks endless questions of those with whom it's supposed to be working so that nothing is getting done."
  Cordelia: "Boy, there's a demon for everything!"
  BTVS // Killed by Death

• Willow: "Buffy killed a vampire last night!"
  Buffy: "Uh, I think you can get a little more volume if you speak from the diaphram."
  Willow: "Sorry."
  BTVS // When She Was Bad

• 
  BTVS // Incan Mummy Girl

• Cordelia: "If we die in here, I'm gonna kick your ass, I mean it!"
  BTVS // Bothered, Bewitched, and Bewildered

• Giles: "Here comes Buffy. Now remember, discretion is the better part of valor."
  Xander: "You coulda just said, 'shh!' God, are all you Brits such drama queens?"
  BTVS // Surprise

• Drusilla: "Do it again! Do it again!"
  BTVS // Surprise

• Buffy: "We need some alternate ghost theories. What do we know?"
  Xander: "Dog spit is cleaner than human."
  Buffy: "Besides that."
  BTVS // I Only Have Eyes For You

• Cordelia: "I guess you should know, since you helped raise that demon that killed that guy that time?"
  Giles: "Yes. Do let's bring that up as often as possible."
  BTVS // Ted

• Xander: "I do not babble. I occasionally run-on, every now and then I yammer..."
  BTVS // Phases

• Buffy: "You're really getting into this interrogation thing."
  Willow: "The trick is not to leave any marks."
  BTVS // Go Fish

• Xander: "What, it's not okay for one guy to like another guy just because he happened to be in the locker room with him when absolutely nothing happened and I thought I told you not to push?"
  BTVS // Phases

• Buffy: "I don't take orders. I do things my way."
  Kendra: "No wonder you died."
  BTVS // What's My Line?"

• Xander: "Dreams are meaningful."
  Willow: "Tell me about it. The other night I dreamt that Xander...uh...it wasn't Xander. In fact it wasn't mean. It was a friend's dream and she doesn't remember it."
  Buffy: "I bet she doesn't."
  BTVS // When She Was Bad

• Buffy: "YOU sold me that dress for Halloween and nearly got us all killed!"
  Ethan: "But you looked great!"
  BTVS // The Dark Age

• Angel: "I wanna learn from you."
  Whistler: "Alright."
  Angel: "But I don't want to dress like you."
  BTVS // Becoming

• Xander: "So both coffins are empty, that makes three girls signed up for the army of zombies."
  Willow: "Is it an army if you just have three?"
  Buffy: "Zombie drill team, then."
  BTVS // Some Assembly Required

• Buffy: "Add it up. It all spells 'duh.'"
  BTVS // Some Assembly Required

• Oz: "To the casual observer, it would appear that you're trying to make your friend Xander jealous, or even the score, or something. And that's on the empty side. See, in my fantasy, when I'm kissing you, you're kissing me. It's okay. I can wait."
  BTVS // Innocence

• Buffy: "You might also want to avoid words like amenable and indecorous. Speak English, not whatever they speak in..."
  Giles: "England?"
  Buffy: "Yeah."
  BTVS // Some Assembly Required

• Giles: "Punishing yourself like this is pointless."
  Buffy: "It's entirely pointy."
  BTVS // When She Was Bad

• Larry: "Oh, let me guess. That little innocent school girl thing is just an act, right?"
  Oz: "Yeah, she's actually an evil mastermind. It's fun."
  BTVS // Phases

• Spike: "They say when you've drawn blood you've exfoliated."
  BTVS // I Only Have Eyes For You

• Xander: "Yep, vampires are real. A lot of them live in Sunnydale. Willow will fill you in."
  Willow: "I know it's hard to accept at first."
  Oz: "Actually, it explains a lot."
  BTVS // Surprise

• Angel: "This isn't some fairy tale. When I kiss you, you don't wake up from a deep sleep and live happily ever after."
  Buffy: "No. When you kiss me, I wanna die."
  BTVS // Reptile Boy

• Buffy: "Some of your cousins are in town for a family barbecue, and we're all on the menu."
  BTVS // When She Was Bad

• Spike: "Fancy it, pet?"
  Drusilla: "Ohh, it's beautiful."
  BTVS // Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered

• Cordelia: "But she's like this superman. Shouldn't there be different rules for her?"
  Willow: "Sure, in a fascist society."
  Cordelia: "Right! Why can't we have one of those?"
  BTVS // Ted

• Xander: "I'm sorry, but let's not forget that I hated Angel long before you guys jumped on the bandwagon. So I think I deserve a little something for not saying 'I told you so' long before now. And if Giles wants to go after the fiend that murdered his girlfriend I say faster pussycat, kill kill."
  BTVS // Passion

• Cordelia: "You know, we've never been close, which is nice 'cause I don't really like you that much, but you have on occasion saved the world and stuff so I'm gonna do you a favor."
  BTVS // When She Was Bad

• Spike: "Fee fi fo fum. I smell the blood of a nice...ripe...girl."
  BTVS // School Hard

• Xander: "So we dig up some graves tonight?"
  Willow: "Oh, boy, a field trip!"
  BTVS // Some Assembly Required

• Buffy: "Ah, he'll come around. What guy could resist your wily Willow charms?"
  Willow: "At last count, all of them. Maybe more."
  Buffy: "Well, none of them know a thing. They all get an 'F' in Willow."
  Willow: "But I want Oz to get an 'A', and, oh, one of those gold stars."
  BTVS // Phases

• Xander: "Tell Angel I'm gonna kill him. No wait! I'm gonna kill you! Die! Die! Die! Ahhh!! Thunk. Mother?"
  Cordelia: "That's it?"
  Xander: "That's it. Scene."
  Buffy: "It's exactly how it happened."
  Oz: "I thought it was riveting. I was a little unclear about some of the themes."
  Buffy: "The theme is Angel's too much of a coward to take me on face to face."
  Xander: "The other theme was Buy American, but it got kinda buried."
  BTVS // Becoming Pt 1

• Xander: "Ah, the dreaded five-par cuckoo clock. Ha! So many have come, so few have conquered."
  BTVS // Ted

• Xander: "Flowers for milady."
  Buffy: "I think they call those balloons."
  Xander: "Yeah, stick 'em in water, maybe they'll grow."
  BTVS // Killed by Death

• Spike: "I was actually at Woodstock. That was a weird gig. I fed off a flower person, and I spent the next six hours watching my hand move."
  BTVS // School Hard

• Xander: "Angel was in your bedroom?"
  Willow: "Ours is a forbidden love."
  BTVS // Lie to Me

• Xander: "I don't wanna use force."
  Willow: "Force is okay!"
  BTVS // Bothered, Bewitched, and Bewildered

• Oz: "Sometimes when I'm sitting in class...you know, I'm not thinking about class, 'cause that would never happen. I think about kissing you. And it's like everything stops. It's like freeze frame. Willow kissage."
  BTVS // Innocence

• Willow: "Frogs! Frogs! Get 'em off of me! Oh, my God, frogs! Get them off of me! Please, help! Get 'em off! FROGS!"
  BTVS // Killed by Death

• Giles: "Is everything in order for the party?"
  Xander: "Absolutely. You ready to get down, you funky party weasel?"
  BTVS // Surprise

• Willow: ::shrieks with joy::
  Ted: "What?"
  Xander: "That's the sound she makes when she's speechless with geeker joy."
  BTVS // Ted

• Willow: "HEY! We don't have time for this! Our friends are in trouble! Now, we have to put our heads together and, and get them out of it! And if you two aren't with me a hundred and ten percent, then get the hell out of my library!"
  Cordelia: "We're sorry."
  Xander: "We'll be good."
  BTVS // The Dark Age

• Giles laughing.
  BTVS // Phases

• Xander: "Yo, G-man! What's up?"
  Giles: "Nice to see you, and don't ever call me that."
  BTVS // When She Was Bad

• Xander: "So Cor, are you printing up business cards with your pager number and hours of operation, or are you just going with a halter top tonight?"
  BTVS // Reptile Boy

• Willow: "Hi!"
  Oz: "Oh, that's what I was gonna say."
  BTVS // Phases

• Giles: "I trust I gave good...squirm."
  BTVS // The Dark Age

• Buffy: "You just say, 'Hey, I got a thing, you maybe have a thing, maybe we could have a thing?'"
  Giles: "Thank you, Cyrano."
  BTVS // Some Assembly Required

• Xander: "My whole life just flashed before my eyes! I gotta get me a life!"
  BTVS // Killed by Death

• Giles: "Graverobbing. Well, that's new. Interesting."
  Buffy: "I know you meant to say gross and disturbing."
  Giles: "Yes, of course. Terrible thing. Must put a stop to it. Dammit."
  BTVS // Some Assembly Required

• Willow: "I bet you have a lot of groupies."
  Oz: "It happens. I'm living groupie free nowadays. I'm clean."
  BTVS // Surprise

• Cordelia: "What's he waiting for? What's his problem? Oh, that's right. He's a guy."
  Willow: "Yeah, him and Xander. Guys."
  Cordelia: "Who do they think they are?"
  Willow: "Coupla guys."
  BTVS // Phases

• Xander: "Can I just say 'gyah!'"
  Buffy: "I see your 'gyah!' and raise you a a 'nyugh!'"
  BTVS // Bad Eggs

• Spike: "Well, our old place was just fine til you went and had it burned down."
  BTVS // I Only Have Eyes For You

• Buffy: "You sold me that dress for Halloween, and nearly got us all killed!"
  Ethan: "But you looked great."
  BTVS // The Dark Age

• Spike: "I was actually at Woodstock. That was a weird gig. I fed off a flower person and I spent the next six hours watching my hand move."
  BTVS // School Hard

• Spike: “Millions of people walking around like happymeals with legs.”
  BTVS // Becoming 2

• Xander: "Whoa. Whoa! I...I think I'm having a thought. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's a thought. Now I'm having a plan."
  BTVS // Innocence

• Angel: "Hello, lover."
  BTVS // Becoming

• Spike: "Slaaayyyerrr...here kitty kitty..."
  BTVS // School Hard

• Buffy: "Darn. I really wanted to hit him til he bled."
  BTVS // The Dark Age

• Willow: "The reflection thing, you don't have. Angel how do you shave?"
  BTVS // Reptile Boy

• Xander: "If they hurt Willow, I'll kill you."
  BTVS // When She Was Bad

• Buffy: "And if you wouldn't mind a little Gene and Roger, you might want to leave off the idiot part. Being called an idiot tends to take people OUT of the dating mood."
  Xander: "It actually kinda turns me on."
  Buffy: "I fear you."
  BTVS // Some Assembly Required

• Buffy: "We're having this thing at school."
  Angel: "Career week?"
  Buffy: "How did you know?"
  Angel: "I lurk."
  BTVS // What's My Line

• Whistler: “Hello to the imagery! Very nice!”
  BTVS // Becoming 2

• Angelus: "I'm back."
  BTVS // Innocence

• Spike: "I know you haven't been in the game for awhile, mate, but we do still kill people. Sort of our reson detre, you know."
  BTVS // Innocence

• Spike: "Hurts, doesn't it?"
  Angelus: "Well, you know, it kinda itches a little."
  BTVS // Innocence

• Buffy: "It was terrible. I moped over you for months. Sitting in my room listening to that Divinyls song 'I Touch Myself'. Of course, I had no idea what it was about."
  BTVS // Lie to Me

• Cordelia: "Hi, sorry to interrupt your little undead play group, but I need to ask Willow if she'll help me with my science fair project?"
  Willow: "It's a fruit."
  BTVS // Some Assembly Required

• Xander: "And while I'm whittling, I plan to whistle a jaunty tune."
  BTVS // School Hard

• Giles: "It acts on pure instinct. No conscience, predatory and aggressive."
  Buffy: "In other words, your typical male."
  Xander: "On behalf of my gender, hey!"
  Giles: "Yes, let's not jump to any conclusions."
  Buffy: "I didn't jump. I took a tiny step, and there conclusions were."
  BTVS // Phases

• Spike: “Well… this is just… neat!”
  BTVS // Halloween

• Cordelia: "Why are these terrible things always happening to me?"
  Xander: ::cough::"Karma"::cough::
  BTVS // Some Assembly Required

• Buffy: "Let's try and keep in touch."
  BTVS // Killed by Death

• Buffy: "Come on. Kick my ass."
  BTVS // When She Was Bad

• Angel: "We need you to distract the vampires."
  Buffy: "Right."
  Angel: "What are you gonna do?"
  Buffy: "I'm gonna kill them all. That oughtta distract 'em."
  BTVS // When She Was Bad

• Buffy: "I can't do this! I can't take care of things! I killed my Giga Pet. Literally, I sat on it and it broke."
  BTVS // Bad Eggs

• Spike: "Well, then, I'll only kill you just this once!"
  BTVS // What's My Line 2

• Buffy: "Willow, grow up. Not everything is about kissing."
  Xander: "Yeah, stuff's about groping. It wasn't about groping?"
  BTVS // When She Was Bad

• Xander: "I am the bug man, koo koo ka choo."
  BTVS // What's My Line Pt 1

• Cordelia: "Gee, Xander, what are you gonna teach when you fail in life? Advanced loser being?"
  Xander: "I will teach...ze language of love."
  BTVS // Becoming

• Angel: "I loved you with my last breath."
  BTVS // I only have eyes for you

• Buffy: "And if you wouldn't mind a little Gene and Roger, you might want to leave off the idiot part. Being called an idiot tends to take people out of the dating mood."
  Xander: "Hmm, it actually kinda turns me on."
  Buffy: "I fear you."
  BTVS // Some Assembly Required

• Xander: "No shirts with ruffles, no hats with feathers, and definitely no lederhosen. They make my calves look fat."
  BTVS // Inca Mummy Girl

• Joyce: "Well go on, make a wish."
  Buffy: "I'll just let it burn."
  BTVS // Innocence

• Cordy: "I just don't see why everyone's always picking on Marie Antoinette. I can *so* relate to her. She worked really hard to look that good, and people just don't appreciate that kind of effort."
  BTVS // Lie to Me

• Giles: “You mean life?”
  Buffy: “Yeah. Does it get easy.”
  Giles: “What do you want me to say.”
  Buffy: “Lie to me.”
  Giles: “Yes, it’s terribly simple. The good guys are always stalwart and true, the bad guys are easily distinguished by their pointy horns and black hats, and we always defeat them and save the day. No one ever dies, and everybody lives happily ever after.”
  Buffy: “Liar.”
  BTVS // Lie to Me

• Cordelia: "Oh, look, it's the 3 Musketeers."
  Buffy: "Was that an insult?"
  Xander: "It kinda lacked punch."
  Willow: "The 3 Musketeers were cool."
  Cordelia: "I see your point."
  BTVS // When She Was Bad

• Spike: "I won't have you feeding me like a child, Dru!"
  Angelus: "Why not? She already bathes you, carries you around, and changes you like a child."
  BTVS // Passion

• Spike: "Look at you. You're shaking. You're terrified. Alone. Lost little lamb. ::laughs:: I love it."
  BTVS // Halloween

• Angelus: "Force won't get it done. You gotta work from the inside. To kill this girl, you have to love her."
  BTVS // Innocence

• Xander: "And speaking of love..."
  Willow: "We were talking about the reanimation of dead tissue."
  Xander: "Do I deconstruct your segues?"
  BTVS // Some Assembly Required

• Spike: "Yeah, I did a couple slayers in my time. I don't like to brag. Who am I kidding? I love to brag!"
  BTVS // School Hard

• Angel: "Do you love me?"
  Buffy: "What?"
  Angel: "Do you?"
  Buffy: "I love you."
  BTVS // Lie to Me

• Cordelia: "So, did you guys fight any demons this summer?"
  Willow: "Uh, yes our own personal demons!"
  Xander: "Uh, such as lust, and thrift!"
  Buffy: "I would have to go with stooges also."
  BTVS // When She Was Bad

• Xander: "Oh, okay, I got one. 'It's a mad house! A mad-'"
  Willow: "Planet of the Apes!"
  Xander: "Can I finish, please?"
  Willow: "Oh. Sorry. Go ahead."
  Xander: "'-house!'"
  Willow: "Planet of the Apes."
  BTVS // When She Was Bad

• Oz: "So, do you guys steal weapons from the army a lot?"
  Willow: "Well, we don't have cable, so we have to make our own fun."
  BTVS // Innocence

• Buffy: "Do we really need weapons for this?"
  Spike: "I just like them. They make me feel all manly."
  BTVS // School Hard

• Cordelia: "I just don't see why everyone picks on Marie Antoinette. I can so relate to her. She worked really hard to look that good and people don't appreciate that kind of effort."
  BTVS // Lie to Me

• Cordy: "You drag me out of bed for a ride? What am I, mass transportation?"
  Xander: "That's what a lot of guys say, but it's just locker room talk, I wouldn't pay it any mind."
  BTVS // What’s My Line 1

• Buffy: "Welcome to the mystery that is men. I think it goes something like, they grow body hair, they lose all ability to tell you what they really want."
  BTVS // Phases

• Willow: “I’ll give Xander a call. What’s his number? Oh, yeah, 1-800-I'm-Dating-A-Skanky-Ho.”
  Buffy: “Meow!”
  Willow: “Really? Thanks. I’ve never gotten a meow before.”
  Buffy: “Well deserved.”
  Willow: “Darn tootin’!”
  BTVS // Phases

• Angel: “I missed you.”
  BTVS // When She Was Bad

• Drusilla: "You see, Miss Edith? If you'd been good, you could watch with the rest."
  BTVS // School Hard

• Buffy: “Miss me?”
  BTVS // When She was Bad

• Spike: "Idiot mob."
  BTVS // School Hard

• Xander: "I got a movie for ya!"
  Willow: "Xander!"
  Willow: "You're amish! You can't fight back, 'cause you're Amish. I mock you with my ice cream cone, Amish guy!"
  Willow: "Witness."
  BTVS // When She Was Bad

• Oz: "I mock you with my monkey pants."
  BTVS // What’s My Line 2

• Giles: "We're having a party tonight."
  Xander: "Looks like Mr. Caution Man, but the sound he makes is funny."
  BTVS // Surprise

• Drusilla: "Don't fret, Kitten. Mummy's here."
  BTVS // Bothered, Bewitched, and Bewildered

• Xander: "Well, I guess that makes it official. Everybody's paired off. Vampires get dates. Hell, even the school librarian sees more action than me. You ever think that world's a giant game of musical chairs, and we're the only ones who don't have a chair?"
  Willow: "All the time."
  Cordelia: "Xander? I just wanted to thank you for saving my life. What you did in there was really brave and heroic and I just wanted to tell you if there was anything I could ever do to-"
  Xander: "Do you mind? We're talking here. So where were we?"
  Willow: "Wondering why we never get dates."
  Xander: "Yeah, so why do you think that is?"
  BTVS // Some Assembly Required

• Ford: "Is that more vampires?"
  Buffy: "Must be the weather."
  BTVS // Lie to Me

• Drusilla: "I've brought her especially for you. To cheer you up. And I've named her Sunshine."
  BTVS // Passion

• Drusilla: "I'm naming all the stars."
  Spike: "You can't see the stars, luv. That's the ceiling. Also it's day."
  BTVS // Innocence

• Xander: "Na na na na na."
  BTVS // Passion

• Angel: "Vampires."
  Xander: "Oh! We usually call them the nasty, pointy, bitey ones."
  BTVS // Lie to Me

• Spike: "Would you like a new bird? One that's not dead?"
  BTVS // Lie to Me

• Drusilla: "Look at all the people. Are these nice people?"
  BTVS // School Hard

• Drusilla: "Night night."
  BTVS // Becoming 1

• Angel: "You can see all that in your head?"
  Spike: "No, you ninny, she read it in the morning paper."
  BTVS // Becoming 1

• Spike: "I don't want to hurt you baby. ::struggle:: Doesn't mean I won't."
  BTVS // Becoming 2

• Buffy: "Giles, come on, budge. Nobody likes a nonbudger."
  BTVS // Inca Mummy Girl

• Willow: "My nose is cold."
  BTVS // When She Was Bad

• Cordelia: "What the hell are you doing here?"
  Xander: "I'm undercover!"
  Buffy: "You're not under much."
  BTVS // Go Fish

• Cordelia: "I think you splashed on just a little too much 'Obsession For Dorks'."
  BTVS // Phases

• Willow: "Are you okay?"
  Oz: "I, uh, I'm shot! Y'know. Wow! It's odd! And painful."
  BTVS // What's My Line

• Buffy: "'Cause I'm not well. Uh, I feel all oogy."
  Xander: "Increased ooginess. That's a danger signal."
  BTVS // Killed by Death

• Drusilla: "Come on, love, you've got to eat something to keep your strength up! Now...rrr...open up for mummy!"
  BTVS // Passion

• Giles: "Just go. Get out of my sight."
  BTVS // Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered

• Buffy: "Look on the bright side. It'll all be over soon."
  Angelus: "Yes, my love. It will."
  BTVS // Becoming

• Drusilla: "I brought something for you. Poor thing... she's an orphan. He owner died... without a fight."
  BTVS // Passion

• Xander: "Well, good morning, ladies. And what did you two do last night?"
  Willow: "We had kind of a 'pajama party sleepover with weapons' thing."
  Xander: "Oh. And I don't suppose either of you had the presence of mind to locate a camera to capture the moment."
  BTVS // Passion

• Spike: "It's paradise. Big windows, lovely gardens. It'll be perfect when we want the sunlight to kill us."
  BTVS // I Only Have Eyes For You

• Angelus: "Well, maybe next time I'll bring you with me, Spike. Might be handy to have you around if I ever need a really good parking space."
  BTVS // Passion

• Angelus: "Passion. It lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unwanted, unbidden, it will stir. Open it's jaws...and howl."
  BTVS // Passion

• Willow: "You delved into the black arts and conjured up a hellbeast from the ocean's depths to wreak your vengeance.Didn't you?"
  Jonathon: "What? No! I snuck in yesterday and peed in the pool."
  Willow: "Oh. Eww!"
  BTVS // Go Fish

• Xander: "Apparently Buffy has decided the problem with the English language is all those pesky words. You...Angel...big...smoochies?"
  Buffy: "Shut...up."
  BTVS // Bad Eggs

• Cordelia: "I just know your pizza delivery career will take you so many riveting places."
  BTVS // Reptile Boy

• Buffy: "It's entirely pointy!"
  BTVS // When She Was Bad

• Buffy: "You know polite people call before they jump out of the bushes and attack you."
  BTVS // Becoming

• Buffy: "I don't get it. Why would anybody want to make a girl?"
  Xander: "You mean, when there's so many premade ones just laying around?"
  BTVS // Some Assembly Required

• Spike: "Yeah, that'll work. Now say pretty please."
  BTVS // Surprise

• Willow: "Well, what about the rest of the note?"
  Buffy: "Rest of the note?"
  Willow: "The part that says 'P.S.-This is a trap!"
  BTVS // When She Was Bad

• Xander: "You're bad to the bone."
  Willow: "I'm a rebel."
  BTVS // School Hard

• Xander: "Ooh, gang, did you hear that? A bonus day of class plus Cordelia. Mix in a little rectal surgery, and it's my best day ever!"
  The Dark Age

• Drusilla: “It reeks of death.”
  BTVS // Surprise

• Spike: "Do you like it, baby?"
  Drusilla: "It reeks of death."
  BTVS // Surprise

• Giles: "I suppose there is a sort of Machiavellian ingenuity to your transgression."
  Xander: "I resent that! Or possibly thank you."
  BTVS // Bad Eggs

• Willow: "There's no use arguing with me. Do you see my resolved face? You've seen it before, you know what it means."
  BTVS // Becoming 2

• Buffy: “I have had a really bad day, okay. If you have information worth hearing, then I am greatful for it. If you’re gonna crack jokes, then I’m gonna pull out your ribcage and wear it as a hat."
  Whistler: “Hello to the imagery! Very nice.”
  BTVS // Becoming 2

• Cordelia: "Buffy, these men are rich. And I am *not* being shallow. Think of all the poor people I could help with all my money!"
  BTVS // Reptile Boy

• Angel: "Why are you riding me?"
  BTVS // When She Was Bad

• Spike: "My black goddess. My ripe...wicked...plum."
  BTVS // What's My Line 2

• Drusilla: “Rip their throats out.”
  Angel: “AAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHAAAA!”
  BTVS // What’s My Line 2

• Giles: "You must perform the ritual...in a tutu."
  BTVS // Becoming

• Angelus: "Don't worry, Roller Boy. I've got everything under control."
  BTVS // Passion

• Angelus: "As long as there's injustice in the world, as long as scum like you is walking...well, rolling the streets...I'll be around. Look over your shoulder. I'll be there."
  BTVS // Innocence

• Spike: "I'm sorry, baby. I'm a bad, rude man."
  BTVS // What's My Line

• Giles: "I just think it's rather odd that a nation that prides itself on it's virility should feel compelled to strap on 40 pounds of protective gear just in order to play rugby."
  BTVS // Some Assembly Required

• Xander: "Yeah, nothing but a bunch of computer equipment and a pornography collection so prodigious it even scared me."
  BTVS // Some Assembly Required

• Xander: "Those poor schlubs have to attend school on Saturday!"
  Jenny: "9am okay with you, Xander?"
  Buffy: "Got a bit of schlub on your shoe there."
  BTVS // The Dark Age

• Spike: "Do I have *anyone* on watch here? It's called security, people, are you all asleep? Or did we finally find a restaurant that delivers?"
  BTVS // Lie to Me

• Angelus: "What can I say, I just loove to see you smile, buddy."
  BTVS // Passion

• Giles: "Why did you come here?! This wasn't your fight!"
  Buffy: "Are you trying to get yourself killed?! You can't leave me. I can't do this alone."
  BTVS // Passion

• Xander: "What's the problem? We send Cordy to fight this guy, and we go for pizza."
  BTVS // Surprise

• Giles: "Just don't be late."
  Buffy: "Have I ever let you down?"
  Giles: "Do you want me to answer that, or shall I just glare?"
  BTVS // The Dark Age

• Buffy: "What was I thinking, my god? Shame, shame! I gotta go."
  BTVS // Halloween

• Willow: "The reflection thing that you don't have. Angel, how do you shave?"
  BTVS // Reptile Boy?

• Giles: "And the rest is silence."
  BTVS // The Dark Age

• Drusilla: "You sing the sweetest little song. Won't you sing for me, hmm? Don't you love me anymore?"
  BTVS // Lie to Me

• Xander: "That's for the makeup, and that's for the last sixteen and a half years!"
  BTVS // Reptile Boy

• Xander: "You slash me with your words!"
  BTVS // What's My Line

• Kendra: "The slayer handbook insists on it."
  Willow: "There's a Slayer handbook?"
  Buffy: "Wait. Handbook? What handbook? How come I don't have a handbook?"
  Willow: "Is there a T-shirt, too? 'Cause that would be cool..."
  BTVS // What's My Line Pt 2

• Cordelia: "So, your secret's safe with me."
  Buffy: "Well, that works out great. You won't tell anyone that I'm the slayer, and I won't tell anyone you're a moron!"
  Xander: "Now that was a good insult."
  Willow: "A little too good."
  BTVS // When She Was Bad

• Buffy: "So, are you gonna kill me, or are we just making small talk?"
  BTVS // When She Was Bad

• Xander: "Oh, yeah, baby, it's snakelicious in here."
  BTVS // I Only Have Eyes For You

• Buffy: "Xander, how do you feel about digging through some of Giles' personal files and seeing what you can find?"
  Xander: "I feel pretty good about it. Does that make me a sociopath?"
  BTVS // The Dark Age

• Drusilla: "This is so dissapointing!"
  BTVS // Becoming

• Drusilla: "Why, Angel! Where you have been? The sun is almost up, and it can be so hurtful."
  BTVS // Passion

• Willow: "Okay, but do they really stick out?"
  Xander: "What?"
  Willow: "Sore thumbs, do they stick out? I mean, have you ever seen a thumb and gone, 'Wow, that baby is sore'?"
  Xander: "You have too many thoughts."
  BTVS // Lie to Me

• Willow: "I'm sorry about how all this ended up, with me shooting you and all."
  Oz: "It's okay. I'm sorry I almost ate you."
  Willow: "It's okay."
  BTVS // Phases

• Angelus: "Tonight's special. I wanted to look my best for you."
  BTVS // I Only Have Eyes For You

• Buffy: "Add it up, it all spells duh!"
  BTVS // Some Assembly Required

• Drusilla: "How do you feel about eternal life?"
  Xander: "We couldn't just start with a coffee?"
  BTVS // Bothered, Bewitched, and Bewildered

• Giles: "I think it's very clear what's happening here."
  Xander: "Fill me in, then. 'Cause I've read the book, seen the movie, and I'm still fuzzy about what's going on."
  BTVS // I Only Have Eyes For You

• Buffy: "Are you crazy?! You don't just sneak up on people in a graveyard. You make noise when you walk. You...stomp. Or yodel."
  BTVS // Some Assembly Required

• Xander: "Now is it time to have a talk about the facts of life?"
  Giles: "You know, I'm suddenly deciding this is none of your business."
  Xander: "You know, 'cause that whole stork thing is a smoke screen."
  BTVS // Some Assembly Required

• Oz: "That kinda hurt."
  Xander: "Kinda?! What was that for?"
  Oz: "I was on the phone all night listening to Willow cry about you. Now, I don't know exactly what happened, but I was left with a very strong urge to hit you."
  BTVS // Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered

• Drusilla: "I met an old man. I didn't like him. He got stuck in my teeth."
  BTVS // Becoming 1

• Buffy: "Was he a studly?"
  BTVS // Some Assembly Required

• Buffy: "Do you stuff your own shirts or do you send em out?"
  BTVS // Halloween

• Giles: "You have responsibilities that other girls do not."
  Buffy: "Oh, I know this one! Slaying entails certain sacrifices blah blah biddy blah, I'm so stuffy gimme a scone
  BTVS // Inca Mummy Girl

• Drusilla: "Where have you been? The sun is almost up, and it can be so hurtful."
  BTVS // Passion

• Cordy: "But, she's like this superman. Shouldn't there be different rules for her?"
  Willow: "Sure, in a fascist society."
  Cordy: "Right! Why can't we have one of those?"
  BTVS // Ted

• Xander: "Cordy, you should go with Giles."
  Giles: "Why do I have to have...Uh, good thinking. I could use a research assistant."
  Cordelia: "Let's go, tact-guy."
  BTVS // Killed by Death

• Giles: "Cordelia, have you actually ever heard of tact?"
  Cordelia: "Tact is just not saying true stuff. I'll pass."
  BTVS // Killed by Death

• Spike: "Uh-uh. No fair going into the ring unless he tags you first."
  BTVS // Passion

• Xander: "Well, we could grind our enemies into talcum powder with a sledgehammer, but gosh, we did that last night."
  BTVS // When She Was Bad

• Spike: "Come on, talk to Daddy."
  BTVS // Halloween

• Buffy: "Giles? Who counts tardiness as, like, the eighth deadly sin?"
  BTVS // The Dark Age

• Willow: "I know! We could go to the Bronze and sneak in our own tea bags and ask for hot water."
  Xander: "Hop off the outlaw train, Will, before you land us all in jail."
  BTVS // Reptile Boy

• Xander: "Willow. She told me to tell you..."
  Buffy: "Tell me what?"
  Xander: "Kick his ass."
  BTVS // Becoming 2

• Cordelia: "Hello? Can we deal with my pain please?"
  Giles: "There, there."
  BTVS // Some Assembly Required

• Buffy: "You just say, hey, I got a thing, you maybe have a thing, maybe we could have a thing."
  Giles: "Thank you, Cyrano."
  BTVS // Some Assembly Required

• Spike: "You've got thirty seconds to convince me not to kill you."
  BTVS // Lie to Me

• Xander: "That's it! Twelve years of you and I'm snappin'! I don't care if you're a girl or not, I'm throwin' down! Come on!"
  Cordelia: "I've seen you fight. And don't think I can't take you!"
  Xander: "Give it your best shot."
  BTVS //

• Spike: "Will you hold on a second! Hey! White flag here, I quit."
  Buffy: "Let me clear this up for you. We're mortal enemies. We don't get time outs."
  BTVS // Becoming 2

• Angelus: "'Cause I really wanna torture you."
  BTVS // Becoming

• Buffy: "Look, Angel, I'm sorry if I was supposed to spend the summer mooning over you, but I didn't. I've moved on. To the living."
  BTVS // When She Was Bad

• Drusilla: “I want a treat. I neeeeed a treat.”
  BTVS // Lie to Me

• Xander: "That's a very interesting point about trout you just brought up now."
  Giles: "Trout? Trout. Yes. A trout...is a fish. Good morning."
  BTVS // When She Was Bad

• Giles: "I cannot believe that you are fool enough to do something like this!"
  Xander: "Oh, no, I'm twice the fool it takes to do something like this."
  BTVS // Bothered, Bewitched, and Bewildered

• Spike: "Who the hell is this?!"
  Buffy: "It's your lucky day, Spike."
  Kendra: "Two Slayers!"
  Buffy: "No waiting!"
  BTVS // What's My Line

• Buffy: "This is so unfair."
  Willow: "I don't think it's that bad."
  Buffy: "It's the uber suck."
  BTVS // Inca Mummy Girl

• Oz: "Uh...arm?"
  BTVS // Innocence

• Buffy: "You're a vampire. Oh, I'm sorry, is that an offensive term? Should I say 'Undead American'?"
  BTVS // When She Was Bad

• Oz: "I'm gonna ask you to go out with me tomorrow night, and I'm kinda nervous about it, actually. It's interesting."
  Willow: "Oh. Well, if it helps at all, I'm gonna say yes."
  Oz: "Yeah, it helps. It creates a comfort zone. Do you wanna go out with me tomorrow night?"
  Willow: "Oh, I can't!"
  BTVS // Surprise

• Buffy: "I seem to be having a slight case of nudity here."
  Oz: "But you're not a rat. So call it an upside."
  BTVS // Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered

• Spike: "Very funny, mate."
  BTVS

• Spike: "Let me guess. Someone pulls out the sword..."
  Angelus: "Someone worthy..."
  Spike: "Demon wakes up, and wackiness ensues."
  BTVS // Becoming

• Xander: "Those wacky vampires, that's why I love them. They just keep you guessing."
  BTVS // Halloween

• Xander: "You gotta wake up. I need you, Will. I mean, how am I gonna pass Trig, you know? And who am I gonna call every night and talk about everything we did all day? You're my best friend. You've always...I love you."
  BTVS // Becoming 2

• Drusilla: "We're going to destroy the world. Want to come?"
  BTVS // Innocence

• Willow: "Don't warn the tadpoles!"
  BTVS // What's My Line

• Xander: "Welcome, my little pretties."
  BTVS // What's My Line

• Angelus: "So that's everything, huh? No weapons. No friends. No hope. Take all that away, and what's left?"
  Buffy: "Me."
  BTVS // Becoming 2

• Xander: "Where are you from, the country of white trash?"
  BTVS // Inca Mummy Girl

• Oz: "Who *is* that girl?"
  BTVS // Halloween

• Buffy: "Were you drinking coffee again? 'Cause we've talked about this."
  Willow: "HA HA HA HA! It makes me jumpy..."
  BTVS // Lie to Me

• Buffy: "Xander. Did I ever thank you for saving my life?"
  Xander: "No."
  Buffy: "Don't you wish I would?"
  BTVS // When She Was Bad

• Buffy: "Yeah, Xander was pretty much being a...Willow! Where did you learn that word? My god, you kiss your mother with that mouth?"
  BTVS // Becoming

• Cordelia: "Ew! Why is it that every conversation you people have has the word 'corpse' in it?"
  BTVS // Some Assembly Required

• Oz: "Well, we know the world didn't end, 'cause...check it out."
  BTVS // Becoming 2

• Spike: “Someone wasn’t worthy.”
  BTVS // Becoming 1

• Spike: "Now. Any of you want to test who's got the biggest wrinklies around here...step on up."
  BTVS // School Hard

• Jenny: "All right, guys, the first thing we're going to do is...Buffy."
  Xander: "Huh? Did I fall asleep already?"
  BTVS // The Dark Age

• Willow: "I'm good at medical stuff, since Xander and I used to play doctor all the time."
  Xander: "No, she's being literal. She used to have all these medical volumes, and diagnosed me with stuff. I didn't have the heart to tell her she was playing it wrong."
  Willow: "Wrong? Why? How did you play doctor?"
  BTVS // Killed by Death

• Willow: "She couldn't have dressed up like Xena?"
  BTVS // Halloween

• Spike: "You were my sire, man! You were my yoda! Man, I can't believe this, you Uncle Tom!"
  BTVS // School Hard

• Giles: "You're not real."
  Xander: "Sure I'm real."
  Giles: "It's a trick. They get inside my head, make me see things I want."
  Xander: "Then why would they make you see me?"
  Giles: "You're right, let's go."
  BTVS // Becoming Pt 2

^ Top ^

• Buffy: "They're just test scores, right? What do they really mean anyway?"
  Willow: "1430?! Buffy you kicked ass! Okay, so academic achievement gets me a little excited."
  BTVS // Lover's Walk

• Cordelia: "Mom started borrowing my clothes. There should be an age limit on lycra pants. And Dad, he just locked himself in the bathroom with old copies of Esquire."
  BTVS // Band Candy

• Willow: "Aha! Sorry. I just meant...aha!"
  BTVS // Faith, Hope, and Trick

• Vamp Willow: "Alone at last."
  BTVS // Doppelgangland

• Willow: "I wonder what our first assignment's gonna be? Hey, you're excited over Cordelia, okay? We've all got issues."
  Buffy the Vampire Slayer // Anne

• Angel: "You still my girl?"
  Buffy: "Always."
  BTVS // Enemies

• Joyce: "It cheers up the room."
  Buffy: "It's angry at the room, Mom. It wants the room to suffer."
  BTVS // Dead Man's Party

• Oz: "Hey, you know, I took it last year. I could help you get ready. There's this whole trick to antonyms but...this isn't the place."
  Willow: "Oz is the highest scoring person ever to not graduate."
  BTVS // Band Candy

• Oz: "We're gonna make it through this."
  Willow: "Are you sure?"
  Oz: "I sound pretty sure, don't I?"
  Willow: "Yeah."
  Oz: "Then I must be sure."
  Willow: "Is that just a comforting way of not answering the question?"
  BTVS // Graduation Day 2

• Cordelia: "Do I look okay?"
  Willow: "Oh, yeah."
  Cordelia: "How's my hair?"
  Willow: "It's good!"
  Cordelia: "He didn't meet anybody over the summer, did he? No, who's he gonna meet in Sunnydale, but monsters and stuff. But then again, he's always been attracted to monsters. How's my hair?"
  Willow: "Still good."
  Buffy the Vampire Slayer // Anne

• Willow: "It's like, all of a sudden, I'm not cool enough for you because I can't kill things with my bare hands."
  ::Buffy sobs::
  Willow: "Oh! Oh, Buffy! Don't cry! I'm sorry! Oh, I was too hard on you! Sometimes I unleash! I don't know my own strength! It's bad! I'm bad! I'm a bad, bad, bad person!"
  BTVS // Consequences

• Buffy: "We have a marching jazz band?"
  Oz: "Yeah, but you know, since the best jazz is improvisational, we'd be going off in all directions, banging into floats. Scary."
  BTVS // Band Candy

• Xander: "Buffy. Banned from campus, but not from our hearts. How are you and what's for lunch?"
  BTVS // Faith, Hope and Trick

• Willow: "I'm trying to get to cute, really, but I'm still sorta stuck on strange."
  Oz: "Well, I'd be willing to bargain down to eccentric with an option on cool."
  BTVS // Anne

• Oz: "I mean, you look great. And you got the Barry working for you. And it's all good. But when it happens, I want it to be because we both need it to for the same reason. You don't have to prove anything to me."
  Buffy the Vampire Slayer // Amends

• Faith: "All men are beasts, Buffy."
  Buffy: "Okay, I was hoping to not get that cynical until I was at least 40."
  Faith: "It's not cynical. I mean, it's realistic. Every guy, from Manimal down to Mr I-love-the-English-patient has beast in him. And I don't care how sensitive they act, they're all still just in it for the chase."
  BTVS // Beauty and the Beasts

• Buffy: "Oh, I just threw a few things together."
  Cordelia: "When did you become Martha Stewart?"
  Buffy: "First of all, Martha Stewart knows jack about hand cut proscuitto."
  Xander: "I don't believe she slays, either."
  Oz: "Oh, I hear she can, but she doesn't like to."
  BTVS // Faith, Hope and Trick

• Anya: "What a day. Gimme a beer."
  Bartender: "ID. ID."
  Anya: "I’m 1120 years old, just give me a frickin beer!"
  Bartender: "ID."
  Anya: "Give me a coke."
  BTVS // Doppelgangland

• Xander: "So where were you? Did you go to Belgium?"
  Buffy: "Why would I go to Belgium?"
  Xander: "I think the relevant question is, why wouldn't you? Belgium."
  BTVS // Dead Man's Party

• Giles: "She was truly the finest of all of us."
  Xander: "Way better than me."
  Giles: "Much, much better."
  BTVS // Doppelgangland

• Buffy: "You're talking an awful lot on faith here, Jeeves."
  Giles: "Giles."
  Buffy: "Kill the bad fairy, destroy the bad fairy's power center, whatever. And all the troubles go away?"
  Giles: "I'm sure it's not that simple.
  Buffy: "World is what it is. We fight, we die, Wishing doesn't change that."
  Giles: "I have to believe in a better world."
  Buffy: "Go ahead. I have to live in this one."
  BTVS // The Wish

• Faith: "Look at you. All dressed up in big sister's clothes."
  BTVS // Graduation Day 1

• Willow: "It's a little binding. I guess vampires don't really have to breathe. Gosh, look at those."
  Giles ::stammers::
  BTVS // Doppelganglad

• Vamp Willow: "Bitch."
  BTVS // Dopplegangland

• Buffy: "Bite me."
  BTVS // Helpless

• Willow: "OK. That's a little blacker than I like my arts."
  BTVS // Doppelgangland

• Buffy: "How did you find me here?"
  Angel: "If I was blind, I would see you."
  BTVS // Anne

• Giles: "You have the emotional maturity of a blueberry scone."
  BTVS // The Prom

• Willow: "Well, boo hoo! Poor you!"
  BTVS // Choices

• Vamp Willow: "Bored now."
  BTVS // The Wish

• Willow: "You were real brave. Do you need to barf?"
  BTVS // Lover's Walk

• Nurse: "What are you doing?"
  Buffy: "Breaking into your office and going through your personal files."
  Buffy the Vampire Slayer // Anne

• Willow: "What does he want from us anyway?"
  Xander: "The number of a qualified surgeon to remove the British flag from his butt?"
  BTVS // Revelations

• Vamp!Xander: "Buffy? The slayer?"
  Cordelia: "No, Buffy the dog-faced girl! Duh! Who do you think I'm talking about?"
  BTVS // The Wish

• Cordy: "Well, I bumped my head yesterday, and I keep forgetting stuff."
  BTVS // The Wish

• Sheila Rosenburg: "Oh hi, Bunny."
  BTVS // Gingerbread

• Xander: "No. You're in a band. That's like a business class ticket to cool with complimentary mojo after take-off. I gotta learn an instrument. Is it hard to play guitar?"
  Oz: "Not the way I play it."
  BTVS // The Zeppo

• Vamp Willow: "You're in a big cage!"
  BTVS // The Wish

• Buffy: "So let me get this straight. I'm really back in school because the school board overruled you. Wow. That's like having your whole ability to do this job called into question, when you think about it."
  Joyce: "I think what my daughter's trying to say is... nyah-nyah-nyah-nyah-nyah."
  BTVS // Faith, Hope and Trick

• Buffy: "Um, actually, I do have a thing."
  Angel: "Oh, a thing. A date?"
  Buffy: "Nice attempt at casual. Actually, I do have a date. Older man. Very handsome. Likes it when I call him 'daddy'."
  Angel: "Oh, your father. It is your father, right?"
  BTVS // Helpless

• Xander: "I don't get this. The candy's supposed to make you feel all immature and stuff, but I've had a ton and I don't feel any diff...nevermind."
  BTVS // Bandy Candy

• Xander: "This is not good."
  Cordelia: "What's not good?"
  Xander: "Well, I'm just worried it might hurt my standing as campus stud when people find out I'm dating a brain."
  Cordelia: "Please. I have some experience in covering these things up."
  BTVS // Lover's Walk

• Cordelia: "Oh, god, are we killing something again?"
  Buffy: "Only my carefree spirit."
  BTVS // Bandy Candy

• Spike: "And she would fliiirt! I caught her on a park bench making out with a chaos demon! Have you ever seen a chaos demon? They're all slime and antlers, they're disgusting. She only did it to hurt me."
  BTVS // Lover's Walk

• Buffy: "You really love Xander?"
  Cordelia: "Well, he kinda grows on you. Like a chia pet."
  BTVS // Homecoming

• Faith: "We're slayers, girlfriend. The chosen two."
  BTVS // Bad Girls

• Xander: "Well, I'll be enjoying my anual Chrismas Eve campout. See, I take my sleeping bag outside and I go to sleep on the grass."
  Buffy: "Sounds fun."
  Xander: "Yeah, I like to look at the stars, you know. Feel the whole nature vibe."
  Cordelia: "I thought you slept outside to avoid your family's drunken Christmas fights."
  Xander: "Yes, and that was a confidence I was hoping you would share with everyone."
  Buffy the Vampire Slayer // Amends

• Jonathon: "So the senior class offers it's thanks, and gives you...uh...this. It's from all of us, and it has written here, 'Buffy Summers. Class Protector.'"BTVS // The Prom

• Cordelia: "I don't know. I just thought we were gonna do something, you know, classy?"
  Xander: "What's classier than bowling?"
  Cordelia: "Apart from everything ever?"
  BTVS // Lover's Walk

• Willow: "740?! Verbal?! I'm pathetic! Illiterate! I'm Cletus the slack-jawed yokel!"
  Xander: "That's right, and the fact that your 740 verbal closely resembles my combined score in no way compromises your position as village idiot."
  BTVS // Lover's Walk

• Willow: "Have you ever noticed though, when he is mad but he's too English to say anything, he makes that weird 'cluck cluck' sound with his tongue?"
  Buffy: "Hi, Giles!"
  Willow: "Oh. Hi. Been there long?"
  BTVS //

• Cordelia: "There are cockroaches in Mexico big enough to own property."
  Buffy the Vampire Slayer // Anne

• Cordelia: "What if they were kidnapped by Columbian drug lords? They could be cutting off Xander's ear right now. Or other parts..."
  BTVS // Lover's Walk

• Xander: "I don't want to come on too geeky, but okay, I'm psyched. There's gonna be some heat, if you know what I mean, so you guys might want to duck and cover. And I'm starting to be geeky."
  Buffy the Vampire Slayer // Anne

• Lyle: "I'm gonna kill both you Slayers for this! You hear me?"
  Cordelia: "I hear you, you redneck moron. You got a dress that goes with that hat?"
  Lyle: "I'm gonna -"
  Cordelia: "Rip out my innards, play with my eyeballs, boil my brain and eat it for brunch? Listen up, needle-brain. Buffy and I have taken out four of your cronies, not to mention your girlfriend."
  Lyle: "WIFE!"
  Cordelia: "Whatever. The point is, I haven't even broken a sweat. See, in the end, Buffy's just the runner-up. I'm the Queen. You get me mad, what do you think I'm gonna do to you?"
  Lyle: "Later."
  BTVS // Homecoming

• Cordelia: "I wish Buffy Summers had never come to Sunnydale."
  Anya: "Done."
  Cordelia: "That would be cool. No, wait. I wish Buffy Summers had never been born."
  Anya: "Done!"
  Cordelia: "And I wish that Xander Harris never again knows the touch of a woman. And that Willow wakes up tomorrow covered in monkey hair."
  Anya: "Done!"
  Cordelia: "In fact, I wish all men, except maybe the dumb and the really agreeable kind, disappeared off the face of the earth. That would be so cool! "
  BTVS // The Wish

• Angel: "Hey. I'll love you even if you're covered with slime."
  Buffy: "I liked everything until that part."
  BTVS // Earshot

• The sound of the Master cracking Buffy's neck in The Wish.

• Buffy: "She even has that test to see if you're crazy that asks if you ever hear voices or if you ever wanted to be a florist."
  Willow: "Oh, I used to want...wait...florist means crazy, right? I never wanted to do that."
  BTVS // Doppelgangland

• Willow: "He wants me to do a love spell."
  Xander: "What?"
  Willow: "Drusilla broke up with him."
  Xander: "Gee, and we'd all hoped those crazy kids would make it work."
  BTVS // Lover's Walk

• Buffy: "Great thing about being a slayer? Kicking ass is comfort food."
  BTVS // The Prom

• Vamp Willow: "You made me cranky."
  BTVS // The Wish

• Xander: "Aren't you supposed to be drinking tea, anyway?"
  Giles: "Tea is soothing. I wish to be tense."
  Xander: "Okay, but you're destroying a perfectly good cultural stereotype here."
  BTVS // Graduation Day 2

• Faith: "Ready to cut loose?"
  BTVS // Graduation Day 1

• Buffy: "We are gonna get out of here, and we're gonna head back to the library, where Giles and the rest of the weapons live. Then I'm going to take out the rest of these guys, just in time for you to congratulate me on my sweeping victory as Homecoming Queen."
  Cordelia: "I know what you're up to. You think if you get me mad enough I won't be so scared. And hey, it's working! Where's a damn weapon?"
  BTVS // Homecoming

• Oz: "Well, it looks dead. Smells dead. Yet it's moving around. That's interesting."
  BTVS // Dead Man's Party

• Larry: "Okay, the entire world sucks because some dead ditz made a wish? Just want to be clear."
  BTVS // The Wish

• Willow: "Oh, god, demon, demon! What kills a demon?"
  Buffy: "Nerf! Nerf!"
  Willow: "Oh, nerf. Not nerf, knife!"
  BTVS // The Wish

• Joyce: "You can't keep her out of school, you don't have the right."
  Snyder: "I have not only the right, but also the nearly physical sensation of pleasure at the thought of keeping her out of school. I describe myself as tingly."
  BTVS // Dead Man's Party

• Angel: "You deserve more. You deserve something outside of demons and darkness. You should be with someone who can take you into the light. Someone who can make love to you."
  BTVS // The Prom

• Willow: "I-I-I'm ready."
  Oz: "Okay, well, don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not."
  Willow: "Are you scared? 'Cause I thought you had-"
  Oz: "No, I have, but this is different. I mean, you look great and you got the Barry working for you, and it's all...good, but...when it happens, I want it to be because we both need it to, for the same reason. You don't have to prove anything to me."
  BTVS // Amends

• Buffy: "Who are you? How could you do this to me?"
  Giles: "I am deeply sorry, Buffy, and you have to understand-"
  Buffy: "If you touch me, I'll kill you."
  BTVS // Helpless

• Faith: "You like him. And when you think about him, you get that good, down low tickle, right?"
  Buffy: "Yeah, I guess...how low?"
  Faith: "You tell me."
  Buffy: "How about not?"
  BTVS // Beauty and the Beasts

• Buffy: "Drink me."
  BTVS // Graduation Day 2

• Snyder: "Woah, Summers, you drive like a spaz!"
  BTVS // Bandy Candy

• Willow: "Say, you all didn't happen to do a bunch of drugs, did yah?"
  BTVS // Doppelgangland

• Vamp Willow: "No. This is a dumb world. In my world, there are people in chains and you can ride them like ponies."
  BTVS // Doppelegangland

• Xander: "We're just very good friends, who like to hang out, and can I kiss your earlobe?"
  Willow: "No! Well, okay. No! Pez!"
  BTVS // Lover's Walk

• Buffy: "Your logic does not resemble our Earth logic."
  Xander: "Mine's much more advanced."
  BTVS // The Wish

• Mayor Wilkins: "That's one spunky little girl you've raised. I'm gonna eat her."
  BTVS // Graduation Day

• Angel: "Well...he's not crazy about germs."
  Cordelia: "Of course. That's it! We'll attack him with germs."
  Buffy: "Great. We'll get him cornered and then you can sneeze on him."
  Cordelia: "No! No, we'll get a container of Ebola virus and...and, uh...or, it doesn't even have to be real, we can just get a box that says 'Ebola' on it, and, uh, chase him. With the box."
  Xander: "I'm starting to lean to the hummus offensive."
  Oz: "He'll never see it coming."
  BTVS // Graduation Day 2

• Xander: "Woah, smells like church in here. No, wait. Evil church."
  BTVS // Lover's Walk

• Willow: "I'm so evil, and skanky. And I think I'm kinda gay."
  Buffy: "Willow, just remember, a vampire's personality has nothing to do with the person it was."
  Angel: "Well, actually...that's a good point."
  BTVS // Doppelgangland

• Willow: "Good luck. Try not to kill people. Hands, hands!"
  BTVS // Doppelgangland

• Xander: "I need a thing. One thing nobody else has. What do I have?"
  Oz: "An exciting new obsession. Which I feel makes you very special."
  BTVS // The Zeppo

• Faith: "Tell me that if you don't get in a good slaying, you just start itching for some vamp to show up so you can give 'em a good UH!"
  BTVS // Bad Girls

• Giles: "Who said you could interrupt, you stupid, useless fad. Yeah, I said fad, and I'll say it again."
  BTVS // Gingerbread

• Faith: "So, it's about 118 degrees, and I'm sleeping without a stitch on. And all of a sudden I hear this screaming from outside. So I go tearing out, stark nude, and this church bus is broke down and there's these three vamps feasting on half the Baptists in South Boston. So I waste the vamps, and the preacher's comes up, and he's hugging me like there's no tomorrow when all of a sudden the cops pull up, and they arrested us both."
  Xander: "Wow. They should film that story and show it every Christmas."
  BTVS // Faith, Hope and Trick

• Xander: "She just means, you know, the geiser. You're like a geiser of fun that goes off at regular intervals."
  Willow: "That's Old Faithful."
  Xander: "Isn't that the dog that the guy had to shoot?"
  Willow: "That's Old YELLER."
  Buffy: "Xander, I beg you not to help me."
  BTVS // Doppelgangland

• Buffy: "Look. A box full of farm fresh chicken."
  BTVS // Band Candy

• Quentin: "I've reccomended to the council, and they've agreed, that you be relieved of your duties as watcher immediately. You're fired."
  Giles: "On what grounds?"
  Quentin: "Your affection for your charge has rendered you incapable of clear and impartial judgement. You have a father's love for the child, and that is useless to the cause."
  BTVS // Helpless

• Vamp Xander: "It was too easy."
  Vamp Willow: "I felt cheap."
  BTVS // The Wish

• Willow: "I've been letting things fester. And I don't like it. I wanna be fester free."
  BTVS // Consequences

• Willow: "You really do need to find the fun, B...uffy."
  BTVS // Faith, Hope and Trick

• Buffy: "Fire bad. Tree pretty."
  BTVS // Graduation Day 2

• Spike: "Well, if at first you don't succeed, I'll kill him, and you'll try again."
  BTVS // Lover's Walk

• Faith: "Five by Five."
  BTVS // Revelations

• Giles: “Will you stop fluttering about?”
  BTVS // The Prom

• Vamp Willow:"If you don't want to play, guess I can't force you. Wait... I can."
  BTVS // Doppelgangland

• Oz: "You ever have that dream where you're in a play, and it's the middle of the play, and you really don't know your lines, and you kinda don't know the plot?"
  Buffy the Vampire Slayer // Amends

• Snyder: "Woah. There are some foxy ladies here tonight!"
  BTVS // Band Candy

• Willow: "I'm sorry. Quitter."
  Buffy: "Whiner."
  Willow: "Bailer."
  Buffy: "Harpy."
  Willow: "Delinquent."
  Buffy: "Tramp."
  Willow: "Bad seed."
  Buffy: "Witch."
  Willow: "Freak!"
  BTVS // Dead Man's Party

• Scott: "Hey, I can't back you on that lunch. Nutritional demerits."
  Buffy: "My stomach doesn't want hard food today. But there's fruit in it."
  Scott: "Those are marshmallows."
  Buffy: "Oh."
  BTVS // Beauty and the Beasts

• Amy: "Alright, you wanna fry a witch? I'll give you a witch! Goddess Hecate, work they will!"
  Buffy: "Uh-oh..."
  Amy: "Before thee let the unclean thing crawl!"
  BTVS // Gingerbread

• Giles: "What you must realize, Buffy, is that you and Faith have very different temperaments."
  Buffy: "Yeah, and mine's the sane one. Girl's not playing with a full deck, Giles. She has almost no deck. She has a three."
  BTVS // Faith, Hope, and Trick

• Faith: "Obviously something in your bottle needs uncorking."
  BTVS // Faith, Hope and Trick

• Buffy: "Why do I put up with this?"
  Giles: "Because it is your destiny, and because I just bought 20 cocorific candy bars."
  Buffy: "Okay, you're just doing this to take funny pictures of me."
  BTVS // Band Candy

• Buffy: "Game over."
  BTVS // Bad Girls

• Oz: "Get away from me."
  BTVS // Beauty and the Beast

• Vamp Willow: "Get off me!"
  BTVS // Doppelgangland

• Buffy: "Wanna see my impression of Ghandi?" ::THWACK!::
  Lily: "Ghandi?"
  Buffy: "Well, you know, if he was really pissed off."
  BTVS // Anne

• Buffy: "I'd like to find Willow and Xander."
  Joyce: "Will you be slaying?"
  Buffy: "Only if they give me lip."
  BTVS // Dead Man's Party

• Faith: "Give us a kiss."
  BTVS // Graduation Day 1

• Giles: "We have to find Buffy. Something terrible has happened. Just kidding, thought I'd give you a scare."
  BTVS // Homecoming

• Xander: "Go away, this is my hiding spot."
  Cordelia: "Where do I hide?"
  Xander: "You don't hide. You're bait. Go act baity."
  Buffy the Vampire Slayer // Anne

• Quentin: "Congratulations. You passed. You exhibited extraordinary courage and clear headedness in battle. The council is very pleased."
  Buffy: "Do I get a gold star?"
  BTVS // Helpless

• The Mayor's graduation speech.
  BTVS // Graduation Day 2

• Willow: "OK. Oxygen becoming an issue."
  BTVS // Doppelgangland

• Spike: "I haven't had a woman in weeks."
  Willow: "Woah, no, hold it!"
  Spike: "Unless you count the shopkeeper."
  BTVS // Lover's Walk

• Spike: "We killed a homeless man on this bench, me and Dru. That was a good time. You know, he begged for mercy, and you know, that only made her bite harder."
  Buffy: "I guess you had to be there."
  BTVS // Lover's Walk

• Willow: "Okay, well, it's not for you. It's for me. 'Cause I'm still getting used to half a monty."
  Xander: "Oh, good. Half? You and Oz? Which half?"
  Willow: "Wouldn't you like to know."
  BTVS // Beauty and the Beasts

• Xander: “Uh, Will, this is verging on naughty touching here. Don’t want to fall back on bad habits. Hands! Hands in new places!”
  BTVS // Doppelgangland

• Cordelia: "I mean, you got fired and you still hang around like a big loser, why can't he?"
  BTVS // Graduation Day 2

• Xander: "That's the Christmas spirit."
  Willow: "Hello, still Jewish. Hannukah spirit, I believe that was."
  Buffy the Vampire Slayer // Amends

• Anyanka: "You trusting fool! How do you know the other world is any better than this?"
  Giles: "Because it has to be."
  BTVS // The Wish

• Giles: "I expect your mother will want to hang it on the refrigerator."
  Buffy: "Yeah. She saw these scores and her head spun around and exploded."
  Giles: "I've been on the hellmouth too long. That was metaphorical?"
  Buffy: "Yes. She was happy."
  BTVS // Lover's Walk

• Cordelia: "I cannot win!"
  Xander: "Probably not. But I'll give you a headstart."
  BTVS // The Wish

• Faith: "What are you getting so strung out for, B?"
  Buffy: "Why are your lips still moving, F?"
  Faith: "Did I just hear a threat?"
  Buffy: "Would you like to?"
  Faith: "Wow. Think you can take me?"
  Buffy: "Yes."
  BTVS // Faith Hope and Trick

• Giles: "Yes, I understand, but it's imperative that I see her, here. Well, when will you? Well, you are her watcher, I'd expect her to at least check in...yes, I'm aware that there's a great deal of demonic activity in Cleveland. Well, it happens, you know, that Sunnydale is on a Hellmouth. It is so! Well, just give her the message...if you ever see her again."
  BTVS // The Wish

• Willow: "This is good. This is...hey, we're Seniors! Hey, I'm walking here!"
  BTVS // Faith, Hope and Trick

• Cordelia: "Yeah, but the outfits suck. This whole Rambo thing is so over. I'm thinking more sporty. Like Hilfiger, maybe."
  BTVS // Dead Man's Party

• Spike: "Home sweet home."
  BTVS // Lover's Walk

• Spike: "We killed a homeless man on this bench. Me and Dru. Those were good times. You know, he begged for mercy, and you know that only made her bite harder."
  Buffy: "I guess you had to be there."
  BTVS // Lover's Walk

• Oz: "We should figure out what kind of deal this is. I mean, is this a gathering, a shindig, or a hootenanny?"
  Cordelia: "What's the difference?"
  Oz: "Well, a gathering is brie, mellow song stylings. Shindig, dip, less mellow song stylings, perhaps a large amount of malt beverage. And a hootenanny, well, it's chock full of hoot, just a little bit of nanny."
  BTVS // Dead Man's Party

• Xander: "Do you really need to resort to the Black Arts to keep our hormones in check?"
  Willow: "At this point, I'm thinking no."
  BTVS // Lover's Walk

• Oz: "Well, victim number one, Jeff. He was in jazz band with us, they used to horse around."
  Faith: "They were screwing?"
  Oz: "I don't...think so, but he hid her music comp book once."
  BTVS // Beauty and the Beasts

• Willow: "I went to like, four houses and they were gone. It's like trick or treating in reverse."
  Xander: "I know, these things are selling like hot cakes. Which is ironic 'cause the hotcakes really aren't moving."
  BTVS // Band Candy

• Buffy: "Angel, how can I help you?"
  Angel: "Leave me alone!"
  BTVS // Amends

• Angel: "We still need him to find the others."
  Buffy: "Need him? He's probably just got 'em locked up in the factory."
  Spike: "Well, hey, how thick do you think I am?"
  BTVS // Lover's Walk

• Cordelia: "I personally don't think it's possible to come up with a crazier plan."
  Oz: "We attack the mayor with hummus."
  Cordelia: "I stand corrected."
  Oz: "Just keeping things in perspective."
  BTVS // Graduation Day 2

• Faith: "Hey, as long as you don't go scratching at me or humping my leg, we're five by five, you know?"
  Oz: "Fair enough."
  BTVS // Faith, Hope and Trick

• Faith: "God, I could eat a horse. Isn't it crazy how slaying just always makes you hungry and horny?"
  BTVS // Faith Hope and Trick

• Master: "Hunt and kill, hunt and kill. Titilating? Yes. Practical? Hardly."
  BTVS // The Wish

• Oz: "Ice is cool. It's water, but it's not."
  BTVS // Helpless

• Anya: "Fine, you know what? I hope you die! Aren't we gonna kiss?"
  BTVS // Graduation Day

• Angel: "A lot of things that seem strong and good and powerful, they can be painful."
  Buffy: "Like, say, immortality?"
  Angel: "Exactly. I'm dying to get rid of that."
  Buffy: "Funny."
  Angel: "I'm a funny guy."
  BTVS // Earshot

• Wesley: “While the last thing I wish to do is model bad behavior in front of impressionable youth…”
  BTVS // The Prom

• Snyder: "Did you see Ms Barton? I think she's wasted. I'm gonna have to put that in her next performance review, 'cause I'm the principal!"
  BTVS // Band Candy

• Xander: "Cordy, what's up?"
  Cordelia: "I demand an explanation."
  Xander: "For what?"
  Cordelia: "Wesley."
  Xander: "Um...Inbreeding?"
  BTVS // Graduation Day 2

• Spike's insane laughter from Lover’s Walk

• Harmony: "Cordy, you reign."
  Cordy: "I do? I mean, I do."
  BTVS // The Wish

• First!Jenny: "You have no idea what you're dealing with."
  Buffy: "Let me guess. Is it evil?"
  Buffy the Vampire Slayer // Amends

• Buffy: "We have a marching jazzband?"
  Oz: "Yeah, but you know, since the best jazz is improvisational, we'd be going off in all directions, banging into floats. Scary."
  BTVS // Beauty and the Beasts

• Giles: "All we know is that the fate of the entire world rests on the...did you eat all the jellies? I always have a jelly. I'm always the one who says, 'Let's haveA a jelly in the mix'."
  BTVS // The Zeppo

• Xander: “Jello!”
  BTVS // Earshot

• Faith: "You're gonna love it, B. It's just like fun. Only boring."
  BTVS // Doppelgangland

• Cordelia: "I bet it's nothing, they're probably just making out."
  Willow: "That's not what making out sounds like. Unless I'm doing it wrong?"
  BTVS // Faith, Hope and Trick

• Faith: "Don't worry, big guy, just keeping her warm for you."
  BTVS // Enemies

• Faith: "What are you gonna do, B, kill me? You become me. You're not ready for that. Yet."
  BTVS // Enemies

• Buffy: "So I told him that I loved him and I kissed him and I killed him."
  BTVS // Faith, Hope and Trick

• Faith: "You did it. You killed me, B. Still won't help your boy though. Should've been there B. Quite a ride."
  BTVS // Graduation Day 1

• Buffy: "We can't actually do any of those things. You'd lose your soul, and besides, I don't even own a kimmono."
  BTVS // Enemies

• Buffy: "I kinda love you."
  BTVS // Choices

• Faith: "Well, like how then? Lights on or off? Kinks or vanilla?"
  BTVS // Consequences

• Cordelia: "I still have kneemarks on my back."
  BTVS // Earshot

• Buffy: "You remember this? I took it from Faith. Stuck it in her gut. It just slid in her like she was butter. You wanna get it back from me? DICK?"
  BTVS // Graduation Day 2

• Xander: "Maybe what we should be looking for is something like, um, slayer kryptonite."
  Oz: "Faulty metaphor. Kryptonite kills."
  Xander: "You're assuming I meant the green kryptonite. I was referring, of course, to the red kryptonite, which drains kryptonite of his powers."
  Oz: "Wrong, the gold kryptonite's the power sucker. The red kryptonite mutates Superman into some sort of weird-"
  Buffy: "Guys? Reality."
  BTVS // Helpless

• Vamp Henchman: "Nobody cause any trouble, or try to leave, and nobody gets hurt."
  Angel: "Why don't I believe him?"
  Oz: "Well, he lacks credibility."
  BTVS // Doppelgangland

• Willow: "Ah-ha! A curse on slayers! Oh, no...wait...it's lawyers."
  BTVS // Helpless

• Xander: "They say young people don't learn anything in high school nowadays, but I've learned to be afraid."
  BTVS // Faith, Hope and Trick

• Cordy: "What's with you two and the leather?"
  BTVS // The Wish

• Cordelia: "Well, I think this is great! Now you can leave, and never come back! I mean that in a positive way."
  BTVS // Lover's Walk

• Vamp Willow: "Leaving now."
  BTVS // Doppelgangland

• Buffy: "Giles, there are two things that I don't believe in. Coincidence and leprechauns."
  Giles: "Well, Buffy, it's entirely possible that they both arrived here by chance simultaneously."
  Buffy: "Okay, but I was right about the leprechauns, right?"
  Giles: "As far as I know."
  Buffy: "Good."
  BTVS // Faith, Hope and Trick

• Vamp Willow: "This is the part that's less fun... when there isn't any screaming."
  BTVS // The Wish

• Willow: "I don't like this. They could have heart attacks."
  Buffy: "Well, maybe there's a doctor here."
  Willow: "I think that IS my doctor. He's usually less topless."
  BTVS // Band Candy

• Cordelia: "That's so cute, planning life as a loser? Most people just turn out that way, but you're really taking charge."
  Xander: "The comedy stylings of Miss Cordelia Chase, everyone. Who, uh, incidentally won't be needing a higher education when she markets her own very successful line of hooker wear."
  Cordelia: "Well, Xander, I could dress more like you, but, oh, my father has a job."
  BTVS // Bad Girls

• Buffy: "My life happens to, on occasion, suck beyond the telling of it."
  BTVS // Earshot

• Buffy: "I want my life to be with you."
  Angel: "I don't."
  BTVS // The Prom

• Willow: "Plus, you'll definitely ace her on the psych test. Just don't mark the box that says, 'I sometimes like to kill people.'"
  BTVS // Doppelgangland

• Buffy: "You and Xander are going to have to work together now. Can you guys handle that?"
  Xander: "I'm still key guy, right?"
  Buffy: "Right."
  Xander: "Great. Then Angel, in his non-key guy capacity, can work with me."
  Angel: "What fun."
  Xander: "Hey. Key guy still talking here."
  Buffy: "Oh, that's good, start bickering. That's gonna look great for us. You guys are like little old ladies."
  BTVS // Graduation Day 2

• Oz: "And I'll...go lock myself in the cage."
  BTVS // Beauty and the Beasts

• Xander: "Hey. Those are from the pier."
  Cordelia: "Yeah. I just got 'em developed."
  Xander: "There's pictures...of me...in your locker. I never knew I was locker door material."
  Cordelia: "Well, just barely. Besides, I look really cute in those pictures."
  BTVS // Lover's Walk

• Spike: "You're not friends. You'll never be friends. You'll be in love until it kills you both. You'll fight and you'll shag and you'll hate each other til it makes you quiver but you'll never be friends. Love isn't brains children, it's blood. Blood screaming inside you to work it's will. I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it."
  BTVS // Lover's Walk

• Spike: "Love's a funny thing."
  BTVS // Lover's walk

• Spike: "I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it."
  BTVS // Lover's Walk

• Jonathon: "We're proud to say that the class of '99 has the lowest mortality rate of any graduating class in Sunnydale history."
  BTVS // The Prom

• Faith: "Son of a bitch, it's my lucky day."
  BTVS // Revelations

• Faith: "Check out the lust bunnies."
  BTVS // Enemies

• Willow: "Buffy, hey! Did you get your SAT scores?"
  Xander: "By the look on your face, I'm guessing you and I are gonna be manning the drivethru window side by side."
  BTVS // Lover's Walk

• Buffy: "Why don't I just put a stake through her heart?"
  Giles: "She's not a vampire."
  Buffy: "Yeah, well, you'd be surprised how many things that'll kill."
  BTVS // The Wish

• Xander: "The band, yeah. They're great. They march."
  Willow: "Like an army. Except with music instead of bullets, and usually no one dies."
  BTVS // Band Candy

• Spike: "You got any of those little marshmallows?"
  BTVS // Lover's Walk

• Willow: "Hey! You want to go to the espresso pump, and get sugared up on mochas?!"
  BTVS // Choices

• Faith: "Everyone always asks, 'why can't you be more like Buffy?' But did anyone ever ask if you could be more like me?!"
  BTVS // Enemies

• Spike: “Each charted course. Each little step. Along the highway. And more. Much more than this. I did it my way!”
  BTVS // Lover’s Walk

• Xander: (thoughts) “What am I gonna do? I think about sex all the time. Sex. Help. Four time five is thirty. Five times six is thirty-two. Naked girls. Naked women. Naked Buffy. Oh, stop me.”
  Buffy: “God, Xander, is that all you think about?”
  Xander: “Actually… bye!”
  BTVS // Earshot

• Cordelia: "Yeah! Neato! Now you can run along and tell all of your friends how Cordy finally GOT HERS! How she has to work part time just to get a lousy prom dress on layaway! And how she has to wear a nametag! Oh! I'm a nametag person! Don't leave that out, the story just wouldn't have the same punch."
  BTVS // The Prom

• Buffy: "Don't EVER do that again."
  BTVS // Homecoming

• Oz: "I'm gonna go out on a limb and say there's a new slayer in town."
  BTVS // Faith Hope and Trick

• Giles: "Now wait five seconds, then throw the ball at me."
  Buffy: "You ran out of new training ideas about a week ago, huh?"
  BTVS // Band Candy

• Vamp Willow: "No fun. She didn't even hardly fight."
  BTVS // The Wish

• Vamp Willow: "I don't like you."
  BTVS // The Wish

• Xander: "What is the essence of cool?"
  Oz: "I'm not sure."
  Xander: "I mean, you yourself, Oz, are considered more or less cool. Why is that?"
  Oz: "Am I?"
  Xander: "Is it about the talking? You know, the way you tend to express yourself in short, noncommital phrases?"
  Oz: "Could be."
  BTVS // The Zeppo

• Cordelia: "You don't phone, you don't write. Where's the love?"
  BTVS // Homecoming

• Giles: "Please don't do anything rash."
  Buffy: "Anything rash meaning...?"
  Giles: "Are you planning on seeing Angel?"
  Buffy: "Yes, actually. Look, but there's not gonna be any rash. Anywhere."
  BTVS // Lover's Walk

• Faith: "Tell me you don't get off on this."
  Buffy: "Didn't suck."
  BTVS // Bad Girls

• Willow: “And suddenly I’m thinking sucking isn’t a good word to use…”
  BTVS // Choices

• Vamp Xander: "Not too bright, book guy."
  BTVS // The Wish

• Spike: "It was that truce with Buffy that did it. Dru said I'd gone soft. Wasn't demon enough for the likes of her. And I told her it didn't mean anything. I was thinking of her the whole time, but she didn't care!"
  BTVS // Lover's Walk

• Spike: "I gave her everything! Beautiful jewels, beautiful dresses with beautiful girls in them, but nothing made her happy!"
  BTVS // Lover's Walk

• Willow: "I don't have anything to give you."
  Oz: "Yeah, you do."
  BTVS // Lover's Walk

• Spike: "Yeah. You're not invited!"
  BTVS // Lover's Walk

• Willow: "What's this?"
  Oz: "It's a gift."
  Willow: "What's the occasion?"
  Oz: "Pretty much you are."
  Willow: ::whimper::
  BTVS // Lover's Walk

• Faith: "Scott!? There you are honey. Hey, good news, doctor says that the itching and the swelling and the burning should clear up, but we gotta keep using the ointment."
  BTVS // Homecoming

• Faith: "Finally decided to tie me up, huh? I always new you weren't really a one slayer guy."
  BTVS // Consequences

• Giles: "We could ask Faith to watch over him."
  Oz: "Well, you're having a slayer watch me? Good we're not over reacting."
  BTVS // Beauty and the Beasts

• Oz: (thoughts) “I am my thoughts. If they exist in her, Buffy contains everything that is me, and she becomes me. I cease to exist." (aloud) "Huh.”
  BTVS // Earshot

• Buffy: "Okay, but you're just going for a few days, right? You're not gonna settle there and grow crops or anything?"
  Giles: "What? My gear? No, this is basic necessities."
  Buffy: "Giles, you pack like me."
  BTVS // Lover's Walk

• Spike: "It doesn't work like that, Peaches. And when did you get all soul-having again? I thought you outgrew that."
  BTVS // Lover's Walk

• Buffy: "What is this?"
  Xander: "What do you mean, what is it? It's my thing!"
  Willow: "Your thing?"
  Xander: "My thing!"
  Buffy: "Is this a penis metaphor?"
  BTVS // The Zeppo

• Willow: "It's perfect in an awkward, uncomfortable sort of way."
  Buffy the Vampire Slayer // Amends

• Willow: "It's a little Pez witch!"
  Oz: "It's kind of a 'theme' present. Do you like it?"
  Willow: "I like! I more than like! Oz, this is probably the sweetest-we have to find a little Pez werewolf so little Pez witch can have a boyfriend."
  Oz: "I don't think they make a werewolf pez. Might have to settle for a cartoon dog."
  BTVS // Lover's Walk

• Giles: "And I shall be wearing pink taffeta, as chanelle will not go with my complexion. Can we PLEASE talk about the Ascension?"
  BTVS // The Prom

• Buffy: "I don't play well with others."
  BTVS // The Wish

• Buffy: "Didn't anyone ever warn you about playing with pointy sticks? It's all fun and games until somebody loses an eye."
  BTVS // Dead Man's Party

• Willow: "Oz."
  Oz: "What?"
  Willow: "Could you just pretend to care about what's happening, please?"
  Oz: "You think I don't care?"
  Willow: "I think we could be dead in two days time, and you're being ironic detachment guy."
  Oz: "Would it help you if I panicked?"
  Willow: "Yes! It'd be swell. Panic is a thing people can share in times of crisis and everything's really scary now, you know, and I don't know what's gonna happen. And there's all sorts of things that you're supposed to get to do after high school and I was really looking forward to doing them and now we're probably just gonna die and I'd like to feel that maybe you would-"
  ::kiss::
  Willow: "What are you doing?"
  Oz: "Panicking."
  BTVS // Graduation Day

• Faith: "Man, guys should break up with you more often."
  Buffy: "Gee, thank you."
  Faith: "No, I mean it. You really got some quality rage going. It really gives you an edge."
  Buffy: "Edge girl. Just what I always wanted to be."
  BTVS // Homecoming

• Willow: "I don't like that you dare question me. Maybe I'll have my minions take you out back and kill you horribly."
  BTVS // Doppelgangland

• Willow: "I feel different, you know? I guess that makes sense. Do you feel different? No, well, you already...probably no big change for you. It was nice. Was it nice? Should this be a quiet moment?"
  Oz: "I know exactly what you mean."
  BTVS // Graduation Day 2

• Buffy: "He is nice, and he's funny."
  Faith: "And quite a muffin."
  Buffy: "Blueberry with that crunchy munchy stuff on top."
  BTVS // Beauty and the Beasts

• Buffy: "Um, maybe I should introduce you again. Faith, this is Giles."
  Faith: "I've seen him. If I had known they came that young and cute, I'd have requested a transfer."
  Buffy: "Raise your hand if ew."
  BTVS // Faith, Hope and Trick

• Cordelia: "What's the plan?"
  Xander: "The vampire attacks you."
  Cordelia: "And then what?"
  Xander: "The vampire kills you. We watch. We rejoice."
  BTVS // Anne

• Willow: "It's a very intimate situation. It's all sexy with the smoke and the sweating and the shoe rental."
  Xander: "You're turned on by rented shoes?"
  Willow: "That's not the issue."
  BTVS // Lover's Walk

• Oz: "It's Willow. She's nearby."
  Cordelia: "What? You can smell her? She doesn't even wear perfume."
  Oz: "She's afraid."
  Cordelia: "Oh, my god, is this some sort of residual werewolf thing? This is very disturbing."
  Oz: "I really agree."
  BTVS // Lover's Walk

• Oz: "I don't know, I think we're kinda getting a rhythm down."
  Xander: "We're losing half the vamps."
  Oz: "Yeah, but rhythmically."
  Buffy the Vampire Slayer // Anne

• Cordy: "Oh, absolutely. I am ready to ride."
  BTVS // The Wish

• Giles: "You listen to me. I'm your watcher, so you do what I tell you. So sod off!"
  BTVS // Band Candy

• Faith: "Rise and shine, people."
  Buffy: "It's your wake up call."
  BTVS // Bad Girls

• Devon: "We need a roadie. Other bands have roadies."
  Oz: "Well, other bands know more than three chords. Professional bands can play up to six, sometimes seven completely different chords."
  Devon: "That's just, like, fruity jazz bands."
  BTVS // Doppelgangland

• Giles: "Clearly we're looking for a depraved, sadistic animal."
  Oz: "Present. Hey, I may be a cold-blooded jelly doughnut, but my timing's impeccable."
  BTVS // Beauty and the Beasts

• Oz: "Well, I can see why you'd be upset. Oh, that was my sarcastic voice."
  Oz: "You know, it sounds a lot like your regular voice."
  Oz: "I've been told that."
  BTVS // Lover's Walk

• Buffy: "What about you?"
  Faith: "Scar tissue. It fades. It all fades."
  BTVS // Graduation Day 2

• Willow: "A human?! Oh yeah? Could a human do this? ::screams::"
  Anya: "Sure. Yeah, humans do that."
  Vampire: "Yeah, I think, yeah."
  BTVS // Doppelgangland

• Faith: "Before we get started, I just want you to know. If you're a screamer? Feel free."
  BTVS // Enemies

• Buffy: "Is this a 'get in my pants' thing? You guys in Sunnydale talk like I'm the Second Coming."
  BTVS // The Wish

• Faith: "I see. I want. I take. I forget."
  BTVS // Consequences

• Xander: "I woke up to the day with this feeling in my gut. I just know there is no way I'm getting out of this school alive."
  Cordelia: "Wow. You've really mastered the power of positive giving up."
  Xander: "I've been lucky too many times. My number's coming up. And I was short! One more rotation, and I'm shipping stateside. You know what I mean?"
  Cordelia: "Seldom, if ever."
  BTVS // Graduation Day 2

• Buffy: "You had sex with Giles? You had sex with Giles?!"
  Joyce: "It was the candy, we were teenagers!"
  Buffy: "On the hood of a police car?"
  Joyce: "I'll be downstairs. You feel better."
  Buffy: "TWICE?!"
  BTVS // Earshot

• Buffy: "We can work out after school. You know. If you're not too busy having sex with MY MOTHER!"
  BTVS // Earshot

• Buffy: "What are we doing? What are you doing?!"
  Angel: "I don't know."
  Buffy: "Shame on you!"
  BTVS // Revelations

• Buffy: "You're pathetic, you know that? You're not even a loser anymore, you're a shell of a loser."
  BTVS // Lover's Walk

• Willow: "But you said you wished that these feelings could just go away!"
  Xander: "I wish for a lot of things! I told you I wished I was a fireman when we were in the sixth grade, but you didn't follow through on that!"
  BTVS // Lover's Walk

• Angelus: "It's good to have the taste of a slayer back in my mouth. It's just like cigarettes, you know? Just when I thought I quit.."
  BTVS // Enemies

• Willow: "Slippery weasel!"
  BTVS // Earshot

• Xander: "We're doing crime here! You don't sneak up during crime!"
  BTVS // Beauty and the Beasts

• Willow: "No more snuggles?!"
  BTVS // Doppelgangland

• Oz: "Anya, huh? Interesting choice."
  Xander: "Choice is kind of a broad term for my situation. See, it's either Anya, or the Sock Puppet of Love for this boy. (In puppet voice) 'I love you, Xander. I'll never leave you.'"
  Willow: "Well, if Anya tries to get you killed, put me down for a big 'I told ya so.'"
  Xander: (Still in puppet) "Who's this Anya? Is she prettier than ME?!"
  BTVS // The Prom

• Anya: "I swear I am just trying to find my necklace."
  Willow: "Well, did you try looking inside the sofa in HELL?"
  BTVS // Doppelgangland

• Buffy: "I hate that it's so hard. And that you can hurt me so much."
  BTVS // Amends

• Spike: "And so I said, 'You know, I don't have to put up with this.' And she said 'Fine!' So I said, 'Fine, do whatever you like!' I thought we were gonna make up!"
  BTVS // Lover's Walk

• Cordelia: "What? Do I have something on my neck?"
  Evil Willow: "Not yet."
  BTVS // Doppelgangland

• Buffy: "Principal Snyder?!"
  Snyder: "Call me Snyder. Just a last name, like Barbarino. Oh, I am so stoked!"
  BTVS // Band Candy

• Willow: "It's just so thoughtful."
  Oz: "Well, I think of you."
  BTVS // Lover's Walk

• Buffy: "Cor, the gun! Cordelia, the spatula."
  BTVS // Homecoming

• Cordelia: "Where have I been?"
  Xander: "In your special place, Cor, which is why I adore you."
  BTVS // Beauty and the Beasts

• Oz: "Once again the hellmouth puts the 'special' into special occasion."
  BTVS // The Prom

• Willow: "Sage, I love that smell. And Marnox root, you know a smidge of this mixed with a virgin's saliva...does something I know nothing about."
  Giles: "These forces are not something that one plays around with. Willow, what have you been conjuring?"
  Willow: "Nothing! Much. Well, you know, I tried the spell to cure Angel, and I guess that was a bust. But since then, you know, small stuff. Floating feather, fire out of ice, which next time I won't try on the bedspread. Are you mad at me?"
  Giles: "No, of course not. If I were, I'd be making a strange clucking sound with my tongue."
  BTVS //

• Spike screaming
  BTVS // Lover's Walk

• Spike: "Good spot of violence before bedtime."
  BTVS // Lover's Walk

• Jack: "You wanna be startin' something?"
  Xander: "What? Startin' something? Like that Michael Jackson song, right? That was a lot of fun. 'Too high, kid, get over, yeah yeah'? Remember that fun song?"
  BTVS // The Zeppo

• Buffy: "Stay with me?"
  Angel: "Forever. That's the whole point. I'll never leave. Not even if you kill me."
  BTVS // Anne

• Faith: "Don't worry, I'll steer you around the curves."
  BTVS // The Zeppo

• Spike: "So I said, 'I'm not putting up with this anymore.' And she said 'Fine.' And I said, 'Yeah, I've got an unlife, you know!' And then she said...she said we could still be friends. God, I'm so unhappy."
  Willow: "There, there."
  Spike: "I mean, friends! How could she be so cruel?"
  BTVS // Lover's Walk

• Cordy: "NO. No. No way! I wish us into bizaro-land and you guys are still together?"
  BTVS // The Wish

• Vamp Willow: "I'm not supposed to talk to strangers."
  BTVS // Doppelgangland

• Xander: "Man, this sucker wobbles but he won't fall down."
  BTVS // Dead Man's Party

• Buffy: "You know, I just, I woke up and I looked in the mirror, and I thought, 'Hey, what's with all the sin? I need to change.' I'm dirty. I'm bad with the sex and the envy and that loud music us kids listen to now-a-days. Oh, I just suck at undercover."
  Buffy the Vampire Slayer // Anne

• Willow: "Hey! You wanna go to the Expresso Pump and get sugared up on mochas?"
  BTVS // Doppelgangland

• Oz: "Guys, take a moment to deal with this. We survived."
  Buffy: "It was a hell of a battle."
  Oz: "Not the battle. High school. We're taking a moment. And we're done."
  BTVS // Graduation Day 2

• Xander: "Buffy and Faith are in the library gettin' all sweaty."
  BTVS // Homecoming

• Snyder: "She whupped you good, huh? I can do that. I took tai kwon doe at the 'Y'."
  BTVS // Band Candy

• Buffy: "I just love it when you take charge, you man, you."
  BTVS // Graduation Day

• Oz: "Guys, take a moment to deal with this. We survived."
  Buffy: "It was a hell of a battle."
  Oz: "Not that battle. High school. We're taking a moment. And we're done."
  BTVS // Graduation Day 2

• Vamp!Xander: "Isn't that what they called the slayer?"
  Vamp!Willow: "Buffy, ooh, scary."
  Vamp!Xander: "Someone has to talk to her people. That name is striking fear in nobody's hearts."
  BTVS // The Wish

• Snyder: "You will sell it to raise money for the marching band. They need new uniforms."
  Xander: "Yeah, those tall fuzzy hats ain't cheap, huh?"
  Oz: "But they go with everything."
  BTVS // Band Candy

• Buffy: "I don't want any trouble. I just want to be alone and quiet in a room with a chair and a fireplace and a tea cozy. I don't even know what a tea cozy is, but I want one."
  BTVS // Anne

• Buffy: "Now, I'm gonna ask you this once, and then I'm gonna get testy."
  BTVS // The Wish

• Angel: "Am I a thing worth saving? Am I righteous man?!"
  BTVS // Amends

• Spike: "It was that truce with Buffy that did it. Dru said I'd gone soft. Wasn't demon enough for the likes of her. I told her it didn't mean anything, I was thinking of her the whole time, but she didn't care!"
  BTVS // Lover's Walk

• Buffy: "Couldn't we just let this be the vamp that got away? We could say he was THIS big."
  BTVS // The Prom

• Oz: "Any change?"
  Willow: "He's delirious. He thought I was Buffy."
  Oz: "You too, huh?"
  BTVS // Graduation Day 2

• Buffy: "You had to tie me up to beat me. There's a word for people like you, Faith. LOSER."
  BTVS // Enemies

• Buffy: "Let's do the time warp again."
  Willow: "Maybe there's a reunion in town, or a Billy Joel tour or something."
  BTVS // Band Candy

• Buffy: "I like the lights."
  Faith: "Yeah. Well, 'tis the season, whatever that means."
  Buffy the Vampire Slayer // Amends

• Spike: "She just left! She didn't even care enough to cut off my head or set me on fire! I mean, is that too much to ask? You know? Some little sign that she cared?"
  BTVS // Lover's Walk

• Buffy: "I love you so much and I tried to make you go away. I killed you and it didn't help."
  BTVS // Amends

• Faith: "You can't trust guys."
  Buffy: "You can trust some guys. Really, I've read about them."
  BTVS // Beauty and the Beasts

• Buffy: "There's a cure."
  Faith: "Damn. What is it?"
  Buffy: "Your blood. As justice goes, it's not unpoetic, don'tcha think?"
  Faith: "Come to get me? You're going to feed me to Angel? You know you're not going to take me alive."
  Buffy: "Not a problem."
  Faith: "Look at you. All dressed up in big sisters' clothes."
  Buffy: "You told me I was just like you -- but I was holding it in."
  Faith: "Ready to cut loose?"
  Buffy: "Try me."
  Faith: "OK then. Give us a kiss."
  BTVS // Graduation Day 1

• Willow: "Still, we were getting good. We dusted 9 out of 10."
  Oz: "6 out of 10."
  Willow: "6 out of 10."
  Xander: "Whatever, we were kicking some undead booty."
  BTVS // Dead Man's Party

• Buffy: "You know, I just...I woke up and I looked in the mirror and I thought, 'Hey, what's with all the sin? I need to change!' I'm...I'm dirty. I'm bad with the sex and the envy and that, that loud music us listen to nowadays. Oh, I just suck at undercover."
  BTVS // Anne

• Spike: "So I said, 'I'm not putting up with this anymore.' And she said 'Fine.' And I said, 'Yeah, I have an unlife, ya know!'"
  BTVS // Lover's Walk

• Faith: "You up for it?"
  Xander: "Oh, I'm up. I'm suddenly very up. It's just I've never been up with people before."
  BTVS // The Zeppo

• Buffy: "Vapid whore!"
  BTVS // Homecoming

• Cordelia: "Are you kidding? I've been doing the Vulcan death grip since I was 4."
  BTVS // Homecoming

• Vamp Willow: "But I don't know. I kinda like the idea of the two of us. We could be quiet a team if you came around to my way of thinking."
  Willow: "Would that mean we have to snuggle?"
  Vamp Willow: "What do you say? Wanna be bad?"
  Willow: "This just can't get more disturbing. Ack! Ew! No more!"
  BTVS // Doppelgangland

• Buffy: "I want my life to be with you."
  Angel: "I don't."
  BTVS // The Prom

• Faith: "When are you going to get this, B? The life of a slayer if very simple. Want. Take. Have."
  Buffy: "Want. Take. Have. I'm getting it."
  BTVS // Bad Girls

• Lysette: "How does she handle?"
  Xander: "Like a dream about warm, sticky things."
  BTVS // The Zeppo

• Willow: “You’re just a big, selfish, worthless waste.”
  BTVS // Choices

• Xander: "I'm not gonna waste a perfect comeback on you now, but don't think I don't have it. Oh, yes. It's time will come."
  BTVS // Bad Girls

• Oz: "Watch your back."
  BTVS // The Wish

• Buffy: "So, Ethan, what are we playing? You're pretty much in a 'talk or bleed' situation, your call."
  Giles: "Hit him."
  Ethan: "I'd just like to point out this wasn't my idea."
  Buffy: "Meaning?"
  Ethan: "I'm sub contracting. It's Trick you want. I'm just helping him collect a tribute. For a demon."
  Giles: "He's lying. Hit him."
  Buffy: "I don't think he is, and shut up."
  Giles: "You're my Slayer, go knock his teeth down his throat."
  Buffy: "Giles! What demon?"
  Ethan: "I don't remember."
  ::punch!::
  Giles: "Yes!"
  BTVS // Band Candy

• Mayor Wilkins: "And boys? Let's watch the swearing."
  BTVS // Graduation Day 2

• Willow: "She bothered me. So weak and accommodating. She's always letting people walk all over her, and then she gets cranky with her friends for no reason. I just couldn't let her live."
  BTVS // Doppelgangland

• Jonathon: "A lot of weird stuff happens here."
  Guy: "Zombies."
  Chick: "Hyena people!"
  Guy: "Snyder!"
  BTVS // The Prom

• Buffy: "Although I'm not exactly unpopular. A lot of people came to my welcome home party."
  Willow: "They were killed by zombies."
  Buffy: "Good point."
  BTVS // Homecoming

• Wes: "Ah, this is perhaps Faith."
  Faith: "New watcher?"
  Buffy and Giles: "New watcher."
  Faith: "Screw that."
  Buffy: "Now why didn't I just say that?"
  BTVS // Bad Girls

• Wesley: "I'd like your opinion. While the last thing I wish to do is model bad behavior in front of impressionable youth, I wonder if asking Ms Chase to dance would="
  Giles: "For god's sake, man, she's 18. And you have the emotional maturity of a blueberry scone. Just have at it, would you, and stop fluttering about."
  Wesley: "Right then. Thanks for that!"
  BTVS // The Prom

• Angel: "The world wants me gone."
  Buffy: "What about me?"
  BTVS // Amends

• Spike: "What do you know?!"
  BTVS // Lover's Walk

• Vamp Willow: "Who do you work for?"
  Vamp Henchman: "You."
  BTVS // Doppelgangland

• Vamp Willow: "That's right, puppy. Willow's going to make you bark."
  BTVS // The Wish

• Xander: "Second problem I'm having. 'Come and get it, Big Boy?'"
  Willow: "Well, well, the slayer always says a pun or a witty play on words. And I think it throws the vampires off, and it makes them frightened because I'm wise-cracking. Okay, I didn't really have a chance to work on that one, but you try it every time!"
  Buffy the Vampire Slayer // Anne

• Spike: "You do me now, you'll never find the little witch."
  Joyce: "Willow's a witch?"
  Buffy: "And Xander?"
  Spike: "Xander, too."
  Joyce: "Wait, Xander's a witch?"
  BTVS // Lover's Walk

• Spike: "God, I wish I was dead."
  Buffy: "Well, if you close your eyes and wish real hard..."
  Spike: "Hey! Back off!"
  BTVS // Lover's Walk

• A montage of wavs from The Wish. Very nice.

• Buffy: "What are you doing for Christmas?"
  Willow: "Being Jewish! Remember, people? Not everybody worships Santa."
  Buffy the Vampire Slayer // Amends

• Xander: "No. Just blowing off steam. Two guys wrasslin'. But not in a gay way."
  BTVS // The Zeppo

• Faith: "Which means that he was killed during the day?"
  Willow: "YES! Sorry, I got...I've just been...it's horrible. Horrible..."
  BTVS // Beauty and the Beasts

• Angel: "I'm trying to do what's right here. I'm trying to think with my head instead of my heart."
  Buffy: "Heart? You have a heart? It isn't even beating."
  BTVS // The Prom

• Giles: "Cordelia, it's me! It's me!"
  Cordelia: "How do I know it's really you and not Zombie!Giles?"
  Giles: "Cordelia, do stop being tiresome."
  Cordelia: "It's him."
  BTVS // Dead Man's Party

^ Top ^

• Buffy: "Giles! I accidentally killed Spike! That's okay, right?"
  BTVS // Something Blue

• Buffy: "But what else could I expect from a bunch of low-rent, no account hoodlums like you. Hoodlums, yes, I mean you and your friends, your whole sex. Throw 'em in the sea, for all I care. Throw 'em in and wait for the bubbles. Men with your groping and spitting, all groin no brain. Three billion of ya passing around the same worn out urge. Men with your sales."
  BTVS // Restless

• Xander: "I am not enjoying this."
  Giles: "Well, shelve them correctly and we can finish."
  Xander: "I don't get your crazy system."
  Giles: "System? It's called the alphabet."
  Xander: "Huh. Would you look at that."
  BTVS // Harsh Light of Day

• Colonel: "You're a dead man, Finn."
  Riley: "No, sir. I'm an anarchist."
  BTVS // New Moon Rising

• Buffy: "Neck. Paler. The puppy. The angry puppy."
  Oz: "Yeah, we came to warn you about the - angry puppy."
  BTVS // Harsh Light of Day

• Harmony: "Is Antonio Banderas a vampire?"
  Spike: "No."
  Harmony: "Oh. Can I make him a vampire?"
  Spike: "No. Wait, on second thought, yeah. Go do that. Take your time. Do Melanie and the kids as well."
  BTVS // Harsh Light of Day

• Oz: "Well, let's think this through."
  Willow: "How can you be so calm?!"
  Oz: "Long arduous hours of practice."
  BTVS // The Freshman

• Buffy: "Spell it out for me. I feel an attack of dumb blonde coming on."
  BTVS // Goodbye Iowa

• Giles: "We have to get inside! There are uh, our families are in there! Our… eh…, mothers and tiny, tiny babies!"
  BTVS // Who Are You?

• Spike: "What, you think I'd come running over saying, 'I've got a secret, beat me til I talk?'"
  BTVS // Yoko Factor

• Fuffy: "You can't do that. It's wrong! You can't do that, because it's naughty. Because it's wrong! Because it's wrong. You can't do that! It's wrong! I'll kick your ass! I'm gonna kill you."
  BTVS // Who Are You?

• Oz: "Oh, I've been here forever."
  BTVS // Restless

• Buffy: "Buffy tired."
  Xander: "And was there a lesson in all this, huh? What have we learned about beer?"
  Buffy: "Foamy!"
  Xander: "Good. Just as long as that's clear."
  BTVS // Beer Bad

• Xander: "Does anybody else miss the mayor? 'I just wanna be a big snake'?"
  BTVS // Primeval

• Spike: "Don't be ridiculous. I'd bite you in a heartbeat."
  BTVS // The Initiative

• Giles: "You never train with me anymore. He's going to kick your ass."
  Buffy: "Giles!"
  Giles: "Sorry, was that a bit honest? Terribly sorry."
  BTVS // The Yoko Factor

• Anya: "Oh, I have condoms. Some of them are black."
  Xander: "That's...that's very considerate."
  BTVS // Harsh Light of Day

• Willow: "It's like you're blackmailing the government! In a patriotic way."
  BTVS // Restless

• Xander: "Wish I had thought of that before I put down my deposit. I could've been God."
  Oz: "Blasphemer."
  BTVS // Fear, Itself

• Harmony: "How's my little blondie bear?"
  BTVS // Harsh Light of Day

• Giles: "Always behind on the terms. Still trying not to refer to you lot as bloody colonials."
  BTVS // Pangs

• Spike: "You want me to tear this place apart, you bloody poof?"
  BTVS // Doomed

• Willow: "I was waiting. I feel like some part of me will always be waiting for you. Like if I'm old and blue-haired, and I turn the corner in Istanbul and there you are, I won't be surprised. Because... you're with me, you know?"
  Oz: "I know. But now is not that time, I guess."
  BTVS // New Moon Rising

• Willow: "Well, and? Details! I mean, not details, I don't need a diagram. But, you know, like, maybe a blurry watercolor!"
  BTVS // Harsh Light of Day

• Buffy: "I still feel like carrying around a security blanket."
  Eddie: "Of Human Bondage, have you ever read it?"
  Buffy: "Oh, I'm not really into porn. I mean, I'm trying to cut way back."
  Eddie: "No, there's no actual bondage. It's just a novel."
  BTVS // The Freshman

• Baith: "I don't have time for bondage fun!"
  BTVS // Who Are You

• Spike: "Bonus."
  BTVS // The Initiative

• Giles: "She doesn't appear to be in any immediate danger. Maybe you should stay with her."
  Buffy: "Boys smell nice."
  Giles: "Or perhaps she should be left alone."
  BTVS // Beer Bad

• Adam: "This could be trouble."
  Riley: "We better make a fort."
  Adam: "I'll get some pillows."
  BTVS // Restless

• Spike: "I came, I conquered, I felt really bad about it."
  BTVS // Pangs

• Riley: "There's definitely something off about her."
  Graham: "Maybe she's Canadian."
  BTVS // The Initiative

• The nightmare rhyme.
  BTVS // Hush

• Spike: "I'm saying that Spike had a little trip to the vet, and now he doesn't chase the other puppies anymore.
  BTVS // Pangs

• Spike: "One chiperectomy, please. Hello? Paging Doctor Owe-me-one."
  BTVS // Primeval

• Giles: "Whatever happened to Latin? At least when that made no sense, the church approved."
  BTVS // The Yoko Factor

• Willow: "She's like this cleavage-y slut bomb walking around going, 'Oh, check me out, I'm wicked cool, I'm five by five.'"
  Tara: "Five by five? Five what by five what?"
  Willow: "See, that's the thing! No one knows."
  BTVS // This Year's Girl

• Spike: "Warms the cockles of my non-beating heart seeing you lads together."
  BTVS // Primeval

• Faith: "That's the thing about a coma. You wake up all rested and rejuvenated...and ready for payback."
  BTVS // This Year’s Girl

• Oz: "It's a dream. Come back to me."
  BTVS // Wild at Heart

• Spike: "Don't I get a cookie?"
  BTVS // Something Blue

• Willow: "This drama class is just...I really think they're not doing things in the proper way. Now I'm in a play and my whole family's out there and why is there a cowboy in 'Death of a Salesman' anyway?"
  BTVS // Restless

• Spike: "Oh, forever and ever, mon petit creme brulee."
  BTVS // The Iniative

• Spike: "Dark hair, this tall, name of Faith, criminally insane. I like this girl already."
  BTVS // This Year's Girl

• Xander: "Ah. Okay, you and Willow go do the superpowers thing, I'll stay behind and putter around the batcave with crusty old Alfred here."
  Giles: "Ahh, no, I am no Alfred, sir, you forget. Alfred had a job."
  BTVS // The Yoko Factor

• Willow: "Some of it, you know, me telling myself I hated you. And cursing your name. Not literally."
  Oz: "Thanks for that."
  BTVS // New Moon Rising

• Buffy: "There's so much to decide. Ceremony, guests, reception..."
  Spike: "Well, first thing I'd say, we're not having a church wedding."
  Buffy: "How about a daytime ceremony? In the park."
  Spike: "Fabulous. Enjoy your honeymoon with the big pile of dust."
  Buffy: "Under the trees. Indirect sunlight only."
  Spike: "A warm spring breeze tosses the leaves aside and once again, you're registering as Mr and Mrs Big Pile O'Dust."
  Buffy: "Stop it! This is our wedding and you're treating it like a big joke."
  Spike: "Ooh, pouty. Look at that lip. Gonna get it. Gonna get it."
  Buffy: "Oh, stop."
  Giles: "Yes, please stop."
  BTVS // Something Blue

• Xander: "Nothing can defeat the penis!"
  BTVS // Beer Bad

• Spike: "Won't meet a jar you can't open for the rest of your life."
  Fyarl!Giles: "Grrr."
  Spike: "What was that? Did you growl?"
  Fyarl!Giles: "No."
  BTVS // A New Man

• Spike: "So. You let Parker take a poke, eh? Didn't seem like you knew each other that well. What exactly did it take to pry apart the slayer's dimpled knees?"
  BTVS // Harsh Light of Day

• Buffy: "You know, you could have brought that up to us before we did it."
  Giles: "I did. I said there could be dire consequences."
  Buffy: "Yes, but you say that about chewing too fast."
  BTVS // Restless

• Giles: "Fort Dix? ::giggles::"
  BTVS // The Yoko Factor

• Angel: "Don't push me, boy."
  BTVS // The Yoko Factor

• Buffy: "You'll really like him. Well, nobody really likes him."
  Riley: "I just need to clear a few things up-"
  Buffy: "I don't even really like him."
  Riley: "Buffy-"
  Buffy: "But...I love him."
  BTVS // Something Blue

• Willow: "Drunk. Heh heh. That's such a strong word, kind of a guttoral, anglo-saxan word, drunk."
  BTVS // Something Blue

• Xander: "I don't know, I was going for ferocious-scary, but it's coming out more dryly sardonic."
  Buffy the Vampire Slayer // Fear, Itself

• Buffy: "Harmony's a vampire? She must be dying without a reflection."
  BTVS // Harsh Light of Day

• Xander: "Well, excuse me Mr. I Spent the 60's in an electric koolaid funky satan groove!"
  BTVS // Bad Beer

• Stoner Vamp: "The best part was when you ragged on her clothes. She was like, 'No! Not the ensemble!'"
  BTVS // The Freshman

• Buffy: "I like my evil like I like my men. Evil! You know? Straight up, black hat, tie you to the train tracks soon my electroray will destroy Metropolis bad!"
  BTVS // Pangs

• Spike: "I hate being obvious. All fangy and grr. Takes the mystery out."
  BTVS // The Iniative

• Giles: "Don't taunt the fear demon.
  BTVS // Fear Itself

• Devon: "That was like the best set ever. We'll do great in LA. We're gonna have them glued to their seats."
  Willow: "Uh, Devon. Aren't they supposed to dance?"
  Oz: "Well, we can glue them to the dance floor."
  Devon: "I didn't mean with real glue. You got that right?"
  Oz: "I got that."
  BTVS // Harsh Light of Day

• Giles: "We can't let you go until we're sure that you're impotent."
  Spike: "HEY!"
  Giles: "Sorry. Poor choice of words. Until we know that you're..."
  Buffy: "Flacid?"
  BTVS // Something Blue

• Spike: "Oh, never, my little foam latte. Your blondie bear is here to stay."
  BTVS // The Initiative

• Willow: "Did I mention about the sorry part?"
  Buffy: "We may be into a forgetting spell later."
  BTVS // Something Blue

• Parker: "I may not deserve this, but do you think you could forgive me?"
  THUNK!
  BTVS // Beer Bad

• Spike: "Isn't it a fantastic day? Birds singing, squirrels making lots of rotten little squirrels, sun beaming down in a nice non-fatal way. It's very exciting. Can't wait to see if I freckle."
  BTVS // Harsh Light of Day

• Anya: "Bunnies frighten me."
  BTVS // Fear Itself

• Xander: "Besides, just think of my lips as the Fruit Roll-Ups of love. Okay, that was gross."
  BTVS // Something Blue

• Giles: "Stop...whatever you're doing. You smell like fruit roll-ups."
  BTVS // Something Blue

• Dream!Synder: "I remember it smelled like dead flowers. Like decay. Then it hit me. The hope of our nation's future is a bunch of mulch."
  Xander: "You know, I never got the chance to tell you how happy I was you were eaten by a giant snake."
  BTVS // Restless

• Buffy: "No big? Anybody remember when Buffy had the fun beer fest and went one million years B.C?"
  Xander: "Sadly, without the fuzzy bikini."
  Anya: "Off topic, Xander."
  Xander: "Right. Helping now."
  BTVS // Something Blue

• Anya: "I'll be fine. I think I've figured out how to steer by gesturing emphatically."
  BTVS // Restless

• Faith: "You're thinking...'You'll NEVER get away with this!'"
  BTVS // This Year's Girl

• Buffy: "There's no way he could know. I mean, you don't just look at someone and say, 'Hey, that's not your body! Get out of that body with your hands up!'"
  BTVS // Superstar

• Willow: "Everyone's gettin' a spank but me."
  BTVS // The I In Team

• Xander: "Everybody, Giles has a TV. He's shallow like us."
  Oz: "I got to admit, I'm a little disappointed."
  Willow: "Well maybe it doesn't work. Like a piece of art."
  Giles: "Public television!"
  BTVS // Harsh Light of Day

• Spike: "You are one step away, missy!"
  Buffy: "Giles, help! He's gonna scold me!"
  BTVS // Something Blue

• Spike: "Good work team!"
  BTVS // Primeval

• Xander: "People, prepare to have your spines tingled and your gooses bumped by the terrifying...Fantasia."
  Buffy the Vampire Slayer // Fear Itself

• Spike: “Hello, gorgeous.”
  BTVS // The Initiative

• Xander: "Well, thanks for making me have to pee."
  Buffy: "You don't need any help with that, right?"
  Xander: "I got a system."
  BTVS // Restless

• Buffy: "World domination? Is that a good?"
  Riley: "Baby, we're the government. It's what we do."
  BTVS // Restless

• Willow: "I mean, did we not put the 'grr' in girl?"
  BTVS // Living Conditions

• Willow: "He's our grown up friend. Not in a creepy way."
  BTVS // Living Conditions

• Buffy: "I'm going to ignore you, and you're going to go away. You're really gonna have to get over the whole 'primal power' thing. You're not the source of me. Also? In terms of hair care, you really wanna say, 'What kind of impression am I making in the work place?' 'Cause-"
  BTVS // Restless

• Giles: "STOP that, right now. I can hear the smacking."
  BTVS // Something Blue

• Spike: "What part of 'help me!' do you not understand?!"
  BTVS // Pangs

• Xander: "I feel a high five coming on."
  Buffy the Vampire Slayer // Who Are You

• Apocolypse Now Man: "We gotta keep going, men. We gotta take that hill. Damn this war."
  Giles: "I have to say, I really feel Apocolpyse Now is overrated."
  BTVS // Restless

• Oz: "Maybe it's 'cause of all the horrific things we've seen, but hippos wearing tutus just don't unnerve me the way they used to."
  BTVS // Fear Itself

• Spike: "I've hired myself out as an attraction."
  BTVS // Restless

• Spike: "What are you doing?! You brought me *here*?!"
  Xander: "Anya! What are you doing? You brought *him* here?"
  Spike: "That's what I said! Only I hit the 'here'part."
  BTVS // Where the Wild Things Are

• Riley: "That's Hostile 17."
  Spike: (American accent) "No, I'm just a friend of Xander's...bugger it, I'm your guy."
  BTVS // Goodbye Iowa

• Spike: "How are you feeling, mate?"
  Giles: "Like snapping necks until everyone's dead."
  Spike: "Now that sounds like a Fyarl demon. Good for you."
  BTVS // A New Man

• Riley: "How many fingers I got up?"
  Graham: "Seventeen."
  BTVS // Out of My Mind

• Willow: "So, you think Buffy's not herself? Like she's been possessed or something?"
  Tara: "I'm not sure."
  Willow: "You didn't sense a hyena energy at all, did you? Because hyena possession is just unpleasant."
  BTVS // Who Are You

• Tara: "I am, you know."
  Willow: "What?"
  Tara: "Yours."
  BTVS // Who Are You

• Spike: "You're an indoor kitty now."
  BTVS // Harsh Light of Day

• Anya: "I like you. You're funny and you're nicely shaped, and frankly it's ludicrous to have these interlocking bodies and not...interlock. Please remove your clothing now."
  BTVS // Harsh Light of Day

• Anya: "You can't go like that. They won't even interview you if you're naked."
  BTVS // Primeval

• Buffy: "Honey, we need to talk about the invitations. Now, do you want to be William the Bloody or just Spike, 'cause either way, it's gonna look majorly weird."
  Spike: "Whereas the name Buffy gives it that touch of classic elegance."
  Buffy: "What's wrong with Buffy?"
  Giles: "Oh, such a good question."
  Spike: "Well, it's a terrible name."
  Buffy: "My mother gave me that name."
  Spike: "Your mother, yeah. She's a genius."
  Buffy: "Don't you start in on my mother."
  BTVS // Something Blue

• Giles: "It's alive! See how he...shakes."
  BTVS // Fear, Itself

• Willow: "It was my fault. I upset you."
  Oz: "Well, so we're safe then, (sarcastic) cause you'll never do that again."
  BTVS // New Moon Rising