• Buffy: "Giles, I'm 16 years old. I don't wanna die."
  BTVS // Prophecy Girl

• Cordelia: "This is all about me! Me me me!"
  BTVS // Invisible Girl

• Buffy: "I'll be back in a minute."
  BTVS // Welcome to the Hellmouth

• Giles: "What do you want?"
  Owen: "Uh, a book?"
  Giles: "Oh!"
  Buffy: "See, this is a school, and we have students, and they check out books, and then they learn things."
  Giles: "I was beginning to suspect that was a myth."
  BTVS // Never Kill a Boy on the First Date

• Giles: "I'd much rather be at home with a cup of bovril and a good book."
  BTVS // Welcome to the Hellmouth

• Buffy: "Someone emailed me."
  BTVS // I Robot, You Jane

• Xander: "I'm just gonna go home, lie down, and listen to country music. The music of pain."
  BTVS // Prophecy Girl

• Xander: "For I am Xander, the king of cretins. May all lesser cretins bow before me."
  BTVS // The Witch

• Giles: "Demon, COME!"
  BTVS // The Witch

• Angel: "Don't worry, I don't bite."
  BTVS // Welcome to the Hellmouth

• Willow: "He read Emily Dickinson? He's sensitive yet manly."
  BTVS // Never Kill a Boy on the First Date

• Cordy: "Excuse me? Who gave you permission to exist?"
  BTVS // Welcome to the Hellmouth

• Giles: "These musty old books have a great deal more to say than any of your fabulous webpages."
  BTVS // I Robot, You Jane

• Buffy: "I just don't like putting you guys in danger."
  Xander: "I laugh in the face of danger! Then I hide until it goes away."
  BTVS // The Witch

• Buffy: "Mom, I've accepted that you've had sex. I am not ready to know that you had Farrah hair."
  Joyce: "This is Gidget hair. Don't they teach you anything in history?"
  Buffy the Vampire Slayer // The Witch

• Buffy: "I didn't say I'd never slay another vampire. It's not like I have all of these fluffy bunny feelings for them, I'm just not going to get way extracurricular with it."
  Buffy the Vampire Slayer // Welcome to the Hellmouth

• Giles: "Very well, then. Follow your hormones if you want."
  Buffy the Vampire Slayer // Never Kill a Boy on the First Date

• Xander: "We're right behind you, only further back."
  Buffy the Vampire Slayer // The Witch

• Buffy: "So you come to *me* for help?"
  Cordy: "Because, you're always around when all of this weird stuff in happening, and I know you're very strong. And, you've got all those weapons. I was kind of hoping you were in a gang."
  BTVS // Invisible Girl

• Buffy: "Get down with your bad self."
  BTVS // The Witch

• Buffy: "Now, we can do this the hard way...or, well, actually there's just the hard way."
  Darla: "That's fine with me."
  Buffy: "Are you sure? This is not going to be pretty. We're talking violence, strong language, adult content."
  BTVS // Angel

• Buffy: "How's it goin'?"
  BTVS // Never Kill a Boy on the First Date

• Buffy: "Hi, I'm an enormous slut!"
  BTVS // Welcome to the Hellmouth

• Xander: "What, I can't have information sometimes?"
  Giles: "Well, it's somewhat unprecedented."
  BTVS // I Robot, You Jane

• Giles: "The earth is doomed."
  BTVS // Welcome to the Hellmouth

• Buffy: "I did get kicked out of school. I'm just wacky that way."
  Buffy the Vampire Slayer // The Witch

• Xander: "You were looking at my neck."
  Angel: "What?"
  Xander: "You were checking out my neck, I saw that."
  Angel: "No, I wasn't."
  Xander: "Just keep your distance, pal."
  Angel: "I wasn't looking at your neck."
  Xander: "I told you to eat before we left."
  BTVS // Prophecy Girl

• Buffy: "I want to be a macho man. Mach-ooh, hey, juice! Mmm...quality juice. Not from concentrate."
  BTVS // The Witch

• Giles: "I'll be back in the middle ages."
  Jenny: "Did you ever leave?"
  BTVS // I Robot, You Jane

• Giles: "They came after me, but I was more than a match for them."
  Buffy: "Meaning?"
  Giles: "I hid."
  Buffy the Vampire Slayer // Never Kill a Boy on the First Date

• Giles: "Nice kitty."
  BTVS // The Witch

• Giles: "He thought it would behoove me to have more contact with the students. I did try to explain that my vocational choice of librarian was a deliberant attempt to minimize said contact."
  Buffy the Vampire Slayer // The Puppet Show

• Buffy: "So, you like to party with the students? Isn't that kinda skanky?"
  Buffy the Vampire Slayer // Welcome to the Hellmouth

• Willow: "Does anybody mind if I pass out?"
  BTVS // Harvest

• Buffy: "She certainly looks perky."
  Xander: "Yeah, color in the cheeks, bounce in the step. I don't like it. It's not healthy."
  BTVS // I Robot, You Jane

• Cordelia: "Who gave you permission to exist? Do I horn in on your private discussions? No. Why? Because you're boring."
  BTVS // The Harvest

• Buffy: "You need a personality, stat."
  Buffy the Vampire Slayer // Welcome to the Hellmouth

• Xander: "Nah, I gotta be a man and ask her out. You know, I gotta stop giving her ID bracelets, subtle innuendos, taking polaroids outside of her bedroom window late at night. That last part is a joke."
  BTVS // The Witch

• Xander: "I would give anything to be able to turn invisible. Well, I wouldn't use my powers to beat people up, I'd use my powers to protect the girls' locker room."
  Buffy the Vampire Slayer // Invisible Girl

• Xander: "This is just too much. I mean, yesterday my life is like, 'Uh oh, pop quiz." Today it's rain of toads."
  Buffy the Vampire Slayer // The Harvest

• Cordelia: "I really like your outfit!"
  Willow: "No, you don't."
  Cordelia: "No, I don't. But I really need a favor."
  Buffy the Vampire Slayer // Prophecy Girl

• Cordelia: "Hello, salty goodness! Pick up the phone, call 911. That boy is gonna need some serious oxygen after I'm through with him."
  BTVS // Never Kill a Boy on the First Date

• Giles: "Alright, I'll just jump in my time machine, go back to the twelth century, and ask the vampires to postpone their ancient prophecy for a few days while you take in dinner and a show."
  Buffy: "Okay, at this point you're abusing sarcasm."
  BTVS // Never Kill a Boy on the First Date

• Willow: "I have to sign off. I'll talk to you later."
  BTVS // I Robot, You Jane

• Buffy: "Well, in that case, I won't wear my button that says 'I'm the slayer, ask me how!'"
  BTVS // Never Kill a Boy on the First Date

• Xander: "Buffy. Come on. Wake up and smell the seduction. It's the oldest trick in the book."
  Buffy: "What, saving my life? Getting slashed in the ribs?"
  Xander: "Duh."
  BTVS // Angel

• Buffy: "So. Bye."
  BTVS // Welcome to the Hellmouth

• Buffy: "Besides, I can just tell something's wrong. My spider sense is tingling."
  Giles: "Your...spider sense?"
  Buffy: "Pop culture reference. Sorry."
  BTVS // I Robot, You Jane

• Buffy: "I may be dead, but I'm still pretty."
  BTVS // Prophecy Girl

• Giles: "Well, that was interesting."
  BTVS // The Witch

• Giles: "Those boys aren't sparklingly normal as it is."
  BTVS // I Robot, You Jane

• Cordy: "God! What is your childhood trauma?!"
  BTVS // Welcome to the Hellmouth

• Willow: "Well, when I'm with a boy I like, it's hard for me to say anything cool or witty or at all. I can usually make a few vowel sounds, but then I have to go away."
  Buffy the Vampire Slayer // Welcome to the Hellmouth

• Buffy: "Nah. I think I'll take on your traditional roll and watch."
  Xander: "And mock."
  Willow: "And laugh."
  Buffy the Vampire Slayer // The Puppet Show

• Buffy: "Hi. I'm an enormous slut. Hello, would you like a copy of the Watchtower?"
  Buffy the Vampire Slayer // Welcome to the Hellmouth

• Darla: "Who the hell are you?"
  BTVS // Welcome to the Hellmouth

• Buffy: "Works for me."
  BTVS // The Harvest

• Master: "You were destined to die, it was written!"
  Buffy: "What can I say, I flunked the written."
  BTVS // Prophecy Girl

• Xander screaming.
  BTVS // Nightmares

• Giles: "I assume all the spells are reversed. It was my first casting, so I may have got it wrong."
  Buffy: "You saved my life. You were a god."
  BTVS // The Witch

^ Top ^

• Xander: "You know, computers are on the way out. I think paper's gonna make a big comeback."
  Willow: "And the abacus."
  Xander: "Yeah, you know, you don't see enough abaci."
  BTVS // The Dark Age

• Giles: "Yes, well, I'll see you all in the library later. We'll continue this discussion."
  Willow: "About trout."
  BTVS // When She Was Bad

• Spike: "Our man Angel here likes to talk, but he's not much for action. All hat and no cattle."
  BTVS // I Only Have Eyes For You

• Buffy: "I wasn't gonna use violence. I don't always use violence. Do I?"
  Xander: "The important thing is you believe that."
  BTVS // Inca Mummy Girl

• Xander: ::stammering::
  Buffy: "I can translate American Salivating Boy talk. He says you're beautiful"
  Xander: ::stammer::
  Buffy: "You're welcome."
  BTVS // Incan Mummy Girl

• Xander: "I'm constant in my affections. Amy Yip at the waterslide park."
  BTVS // The Dark Age

• Spike: “People still fall for that Anne Rice routine.”
  BTVS // School Hard

• Spike: "Are you all asleep?!"
  BTVS // Lie to Me

• Cordelia: "Whatever's causing the Joan Collin's 'tude, deal with it. Embrace the pain, spank your inner moppet, whatever, but get over it."
  BTVS // When She Was Bad

• Giles: "I'm really very attracted to you."
  BTVS // The Dark Age

• Xander: "Are we overlooking the fact that she may be very attracted to me? She's possessed."
  BTVS // When She Was Bad

• Buffy: "You know, I always say that a day without an autopsy is like a day without sunshine."
  BTVS // Bad Eggs

• Buffy: "Oh, Valentine's Day is just a cheap gimmick to sell cards and chocolate."
  Amy: "Bad breakup, huh?"
  Buffy: "Believe me when I say, 'uh-huh'."
  BTVS // Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered

• Drusilla: "Grrrragh. Bad dog."
  BTVS // What’s My Line 2

• Spike: "I'm a bad, rude man."
  BTVS // Lie to Me

• Spike: "There's no deal without Dru."
  Buffy: "She killed Kendra!"
  Spike: "Dru bagged a slayer? She didn't tell me! Good for her! Though not from your perspective, I suppose..."
  BTVS // Becoming 2

• Oz: "See, our band's kinda moving towards this new sound where...we suck, so...practice."
  BTVS // Surprise

• Jonathan: "We're supposed to get some books. On Stalin."
  Xander: "Does this look like a Barnes & Noble?"
  Giles: "This is a school library, Xander."
  Xander: "Since when?"
  BTVS // Passion

• Giles: "Look, it's classic battle strategy to throw one's opponent off his game. He's just trying to provoke you. To taunt you, to goad you into some mishap of some sort."
  Xander: "The nah-nah-nah-nah-nah-nah approach to battle?"
  BTVS // Passion

• Giles: "Bay City Rollers. Now that's music."
  BTVS // The Dark Age

• Xander: "Buffy, I feel a pre-birthday spanking coming on."
  Jenny: "I'd curb that impulse if I were you, Xander."
  Xander: "Check, cancel spanking."
  BTVS // Surprise

• Cordelia: "I was totally beachless for a month and a half. No one has suffered like I have suffered."
  BTVS // When She Was Bad

• Xander: "Willow, you are the best human ever! I adore you! Well, that's the cookies talkin', but you rock!"
  BTVS // Ted

• Spike: "It's a big rock. Can't wait to tell my friends. They don't have a rock this big."
  BTVS // Becoming 1

• Spike: "I need to bring in the big guns."
  BTVS // What's My Line

• Buffy: "I lost a friend tonight!"
  Spike: "I wasn't in on that raiding party!"
  Buffy: "And I may lose more! The whole earth might be sucked into hell and you want my help because your girlfriend's a big ho?!"
  BTVS // Bargaining Pt 2

• Whistler: "So what are we, helpless? Puppets? No. The big moments are gonna come, you can't help that. It's what you do afterwards that counts. That's when you find out who you are."
  BTVS // Becoming

• Willow: "I mean why else would she be acting like such a B-I-T-C-H."
  Giles: "Willow, I think we’re all a little too old to be spelling things out."
  Xander: "A bitca?"
  BTVS // When She Was Bad

• Cordelia: "What an ordeal. And you know what the worst part is? It stays with you forever. No matter what they tell you, none of that rust and blood and grime comes out. I mean, you can dry clean til judgement day. You are living with those stains."
  Jenny: "Yeah, that's the worst part of being hung upside down by a vampire who wants to slit your throat. The stains."
  Cordelia: "I hear ya."
  BTVS // When She Was Bad

• Willow: "It didn't break! How come it didn't break?"
  Xander: "Which is another secret to conscientious egg care. A pot of scalding water and about eight minutes."
  Willow: "You boiled your young?"
  Xander: "Yeah! I know it sounds cruel, but sometimes you gotta be cruel to be kind!"
  BTVS // Bad Eggs

• Giles: "Wonderful. You work on your muscle tone while my brain dribbles out of my ears."
  BTVS // The Dark Age

• Willow: "Xander, what happened? Did Cordelia win another round in the broom closet?"
  Xander: "You're just a big bucket of funny, Will."
  BTVS // I Only Have Eyes For You

• Xander: "Buffy! Lady of Buffdom, Duchess of Buffonia, I am in awe! I completely renounce spandex!"
  BTVS // Halloween

• Xander: "Angel, Angel, Angel. Does every conversation we have have to come around to that freak? Hey, man, how are you doing?"
  Angel: "Buffy."
  Buffy: "Angel."
  Xander: "Xander."
  BTVS // Reptile Boy

• Spike: "If you ask me, I find myself prefering the old Buffy-whipped Angelus."
  BTVS // Passions

• Giles: "I really don't have time for these-"
  Buffy: "Miss Calendar said you were a babe!"
  Giles: "She said what?"
  Buffy: "She said that you were a hunk of burning something or other..."
  BTVS // Halloween

• Spike: "Can I eat him now, love?"
  BTVS // Lie to Me

• Spike: "Debase the beef canoe."
  BTVS // What's My Line

• Xander: "Those frat guys creep me."
  Willow: "You want to protect her?"
  Xander: "Mm-hmm."
  Willow: "And prove that you're just as good as those rich snotty guys?"
  Xander: "Mm-hmm."
  Willow: "Maybe catch an orgy?"
  Xander: "If it's on early."
  BTVS // Reptile Boy

• Xander: "Cavalry's here. Cavalry's a frightened guy with a rock, but it's here."
  BTVS // Becoming Pt 2

• Spike: "Someone's in the ceiling."
  BTVS // School Hard

• Willow: "I shall confront and expel all evil."
  Cordelia: "I shall *totally* confront and expel all evil."
  Xander: "Out of marrow and bone..."
  Buffy: "Out of house and home...never to come here again."
  BTVS // I Only Have Eyes For You

• Cordelia: "But you do know that you saw death."
  Willow: "Did it have an hourglass?"
  Xander: "Ooh, if he asks you to play chess, don't even do it. The guy's, like, a whiz."
  BTVS // Killed by Death

• Buffy: "Come on. Don't make me do the chick fight thing."
  BTVS // What's My Line 2

• Xander: "Well, you know, it's the whole 'sex leads to responsibility' thing, which I personally don't get. You gotta take care of the egg. It's a baby. You gotta keep it safe and teach it Christian values."
  Willow: "My egg is Jewish."
  Xander: "Then teach it that Dreidel song."
  BTVS // Bad Eggs

• Buffy: "I'm just saying there's something a little too clean about this clown."
  Willow: "He's a clean clown! I...have my own fun."
  BTVS // Ted

• Giles: "I appreciate your thoughts on the matter, in fact I...well, I *encourage* you to, to always challenge me when you feel it's appropriate. You should never be cowed by authority. Except, of course, in this instance, when I am clearly right and you are clearly wrong."
  BTVS // I Only Have Eyes For You

• Angel: "Buffy? What's going on? Where are we? I don't remember."
  Buffy: "Angel?"
  Angel: "You're hurt! Oh god. I feel like I haven't seen you in months. Everything's so muddled, I...What's happening?"
  Buffy: "Shhhh. Don't worry about it. I love you."
  Angel: "I love you."
  Buffy: "Close your eyes."
  BTVS // Becoming 2

• Xander: "But ho-ho's are a vital part of my cognitive process!"
  BTVS // What's My Line

• Buffy: "Don't look, okay, but...No, don't look! That guy over there is totally checking you out."
  Willow: "Oh, that's Oz. He's expressing computer nerd solidarity."
  BTVS // What's My Line

• Buffy: "Come to The Bronze before it opens or we make her our meal."
  Xander: "They're gonna cook her dinner?! I'll pretend I didn't say that..."
  BTVS // When She Was Bad

• Xander: "You big cootie!"
  BTVS // What's My Line 2

• Willow: "This shouldn't take long. I'm probably the only girl in school who has the coroner's office bookmarked as a favorite place."
  BTVS // Some Assembly Required

• Cordelia: "Why are these terrible things always happening to me?"
  Xander: "Karma!"
  BTVS // Some Assembly Required

• Buffy: "It's a good call. You should question him."
  Willow: "Really? Me? I'll crack him like an egg."
  BTVS // Go Fish

• Buffy: "Ow!"
  Joyce: "What's wrong?"
  Buffy: "I spent a good part of my allowance on this new cream rinse, and it's neither creamy nor rinsey."
  Joyce: "Life is hard, dear."
  Buffy: "Don't I know it. Is that a split end?"
  BTVS // School Hard

• Buffy: "You know what this means."
  Xander: "That Fonderin might actually beat Sunnydale in the crosstown bodycount competition this year?"
  BTVS // Some Assembly Required

• Spike: "Hello Cutie."
  BTVS // Becoming 2

• Xander: "I'm gonna do what any man would do about it. Somethin' damn manly."
  BTVS // Halloween

• Buffy: "You never ever got a single date in high school, did you?"
  Snyder: Your point being?"
  BTVS // Becoming

• Whistler: "You know, raiding an Englishman's fridge is like dating a nun. You're never gonna get the good stuff."
  BTVS // Becoming

• Cordelia: "I'm dating a swimmer from the Sunnydale swim team."
  Buffy: "You can die happy."
  BTVS // Go Fish

• Xander: "I'm dead as hell, and I'm not gonna take it anymore!"
  BTVS // I Only Have Eyes For You

• Drusilla: "I'll give you a seed if you sing."
  Spike: "The bird's dead, Dru. You left it in the cage, and you didn't feed it, and now it's all dead, just like the last one."
  BTVS // Lie to Me

• Xander: "Yeah, I'm gonna have to go with Dead Boy on this one."
  Angel: "Could you not call me that?"
  BTVS // Lie to Me

• Buffy: "The Hellmouth presents: Dead Guys On Ice."
  BTVS // What's My Line

• Cordelia: "And I can take a hint. What's the hint?"
  Giles: "To come back later."
  Cordelia: "Yeah, when you've visited decaf land."
  BTVS // The Dark Age

• Angelus: "No thanks. Been there, done that, deja vu just isn't what it used to be."
  BTVS // Passion

• Buffy: "A demon! A demon! A demon!"
  Willow: "It's not a demon, it's a car!"
  Buffy: "What does it want?"
  BTVS // Halloween

• Cordelia: "Wait, what does this one do?"
  Giles: "It asks endless questions of those with whom it's supposed to be working so that nothing is getting done."
  Cordelia: "Boy, there's a demon for everything!"
  BTVS // Killed by Death

• Willow: "Buffy killed a vampire last night!"
  Buffy: "Uh, I think you can get a little more volume if you speak from the diaphram."
  Willow: "Sorry."
  BTVS // When She Was Bad

• 
  BTVS // Incan Mummy Girl

• Cordelia: "If we die in here, I'm gonna kick your ass, I mean it!"
  BTVS // Bothered, Bewitched, and Bewildered

• Giles: "Here comes Buffy. Now remember, discretion is the better part of valor."
  Xander: "You coulda just said, 'shh!' God, are all you Brits such drama queens?"
  BTVS // Surprise

• Drusilla: "Do it again! Do it again!"
  BTVS // Surprise

• Buffy: "We need some alternate ghost theories. What do we know?"
  Xander: "Dog spit is cleaner than human."
  Buffy: "Besides that."
  BTVS // I Only Have Eyes For You

• Cordelia: "I guess you should know, since you helped raise that demon that killed that guy that time?"
  Giles: "Yes. Do let's bring that up as often as possible."
  BTVS // Ted

• Xander: "I do not babble. I occasionally run-on, every now and then I yammer..."
  BTVS // Phases

• Buffy: "You're really getting into this interrogation thing."
  Willow: "The trick is not to leave any marks."
  BTVS // Go Fish

• Xander: "What, it's not okay for one guy to like another guy just because he happened to be in the locker room with him when absolutely nothing happened and I thought I told you not to push?"
  BTVS // Phases

• Buffy: "I don't take orders. I do things my way."
  Kendra: "No wonder you died."
  BTVS // What's My Line?"

• Xander: "Dreams are meaningful."
  Willow: "Tell me about it. The other night I dreamt that Xander...uh...it wasn't Xander. In fact it wasn't mean. It was a friend's dream and she doesn't remember it."
  Buffy: "I bet she doesn't."
  BTVS // When She Was Bad

• Buffy: "YOU sold me that dress for Halloween and nearly got us all killed!"
  Ethan: "But you looked great!"
  BTVS // The Dark Age

• Angel: "I wanna learn from you."
  Whistler: "Alright."
  Angel: "But I don't want to dress like you."
  BTVS // Becoming

• Xander: "So both coffins are empty, that makes three girls signed up for the army of zombies."
  Willow: "Is it an army if you just have three?"
  Buffy: "Zombie drill team, then."
  BTVS // Some Assembly Required

• Buffy: "Add it up. It all spells 'duh.'"
  BTVS // Some Assembly Required

• Oz: "To the casual observer, it would appear that you're trying to make your friend Xander jealous, or even the score, or something. And that's on the empty side. See, in my fantasy, when I'm kissing you, you're kissing me. It's okay. I can wait."
  BTVS // Innocence

• Buffy: "You might also want to avoid words like amenable and indecorous. Speak English, not whatever they speak in..."
  Giles: "England?"
  Buffy: "Yeah."
  BTVS // Some Assembly Required

• Giles: "Punishing yourself like this is pointless."
  Buffy: "It's entirely pointy."
  BTVS // When She Was Bad

• Larry: "Oh, let me guess. That little innocent school girl thing is just an act, right?"
  Oz: "Yeah, she's actually an evil mastermind. It's fun."
  BTVS // Phases

• Spike: "They say when you've drawn blood you've exfoliated."
  BTVS // I Only Have Eyes For You

• Xander: "Yep, vampires are real. A lot of them live in Sunnydale. Willow will fill you in."
  Willow: "I know it's hard to accept at first."
  Oz: "Actually, it explains a lot."
  BTVS // Surprise

• Angel: "This isn't some fairy tale. When I kiss you, you don't wake up from a deep sleep and live happily ever after."
  Buffy: "No. When you kiss me, I wanna die."
  BTVS // Reptile Boy

• Buffy: "Some of your cousins are in town for a family barbecue, and we're all on the menu."
  BTVS // When She Was Bad

• Spike: "Fancy it, pet?"
  Drusilla: "Ohh, it's beautiful."
  BTVS // Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered

• Cordelia: "But she's like this superman. Shouldn't there be different rules for her?"
  Willow: "Sure, in a fascist society."
  Cordelia: "Right! Why can't we have one of those?"
  BTVS // Ted

• Xander: "I'm sorry, but let's not forget that I hated Angel long before you guys jumped on the bandwagon. So I think I deserve a little something for not saying 'I told you so' long before now. And if Giles wants to go after the fiend that murdered his girlfriend I say faster pussycat, kill kill."
  BTVS // Passion

• Cordelia: "You know, we've never been close, which is nice 'cause I don't really like you that much, but you have on occasion saved the world and stuff so I'm gonna do you a favor."
  BTVS // When She Was Bad

• Spike: "Fee fi fo fum. I smell the blood of a nice...ripe...girl."
  BTVS // School Hard

• Xander: "So we dig up some graves tonight?"
  Willow: "Oh, boy, a field trip!"
  BTVS // Some Assembly Required

• Buffy: "Ah, he'll come around. What guy could resist your wily Willow charms?"
  Willow: "At last count, all of them. Maybe more."
  Buffy: "Well, none of them know a thing. They all get an 'F' in Willow."
  Willow: "But I want Oz to get an 'A', and, oh, one of those gold stars."
  BTVS // Phases

• Xander: "Tell Angel I'm gonna kill him. No wait! I'm gonna kill you! Die! Die! Die! Ahhh!! Thunk. Mother?"
  Cordelia: "That's it?"
  Xander: "That's it. Scene."
  Buffy: "It's exactly how it happened."
  Oz: "I thought it was riveting. I was a little unclear about some of the themes."
  Buffy: "The theme is Angel's too much of a coward to take me on face to face."
  Xander: "The other theme was Buy American, but it got kinda buried."
  BTVS // Becoming Pt 1

• Xander: "Ah, the dreaded five-par cuckoo clock. Ha! So many have come, so few have conquered."
  BTVS // Ted

• Xander: "Flowers for milady."
  Buffy: "I think they call those balloons."
  Xander: "Yeah, stick 'em in water, maybe they'll grow."
  BTVS // Killed by Death

• Spike: "I was actually at Woodstock. That was a weird gig. I fed off a flower person, and I spent the next six hours watching my hand move."
  BTVS // School Hard

• Xander: "Angel was in your bedroom?"
  Willow: "Ours is a forbidden love."
  BTVS // Lie to Me

• Xander: "I don't wanna use force."
  Willow: "Force is okay!"
  BTVS // Bothered, Bewitched, and Bewildered

• Oz: "Sometimes when I'm sitting in class...you know, I'm not thinking about class, 'cause that would never happen. I think about kissing you. And it's like everything stops. It's like freeze frame. Willow kissage."
  BTVS // Innocence

• Willow: "Frogs! Frogs! Get 'em off of me! Oh, my God, frogs! Get them off of me! Please, help! Get 'em off! FROGS!"
  BTVS // Killed by Death

• Giles: "Is everything in order for the party?"
  Xander: "Absolutely. You ready to get down, you funky party weasel?"
  BTVS // Surprise

• Willow: ::shrieks with joy::
  Ted: "What?"
  Xander: "That's the sound she makes when she's speechless with geeker joy."
  BTVS // Ted

• Willow: "HEY! We don't have time for this! Our friends are in trouble! Now, we have to put our heads together and, and get them out of it! And if you two aren't with me a hundred and ten percent, then get the hell out of my library!"
  Cordelia: "We're sorry."
  Xander: "We'll be good."
  BTVS // The Dark Age

• Giles laughing.
  BTVS // Phases

• Xander: "Yo, G-man! What's up?"
  Giles: "Nice to see you, and don't ever call me that."
  BTVS // When She Was Bad

• Xander: "So Cor, are you printing up business cards with your pager number and hours of operation, or are you just going with a halter top tonight?"
  BTVS // Reptile Boy

• Willow: "Hi!"
  Oz: "Oh, that's what I was gonna say."
  BTVS // Phases

• Giles: "I trust I gave good...squirm."
  BTVS // The Dark Age

• Buffy: "You just say, 'Hey, I got a thing, you maybe have a thing, maybe we could have a thing?'"
  Giles: "Thank you, Cyrano."
  BTVS // Some Assembly Required

• Xander: "My whole life just flashed before my eyes! I gotta get me a life!"
  BTVS // Killed by Death

• Giles: "Graverobbing. Well, that's new. Interesting."
  Buffy: "I know you meant to say gross and disturbing."
  Giles: "Yes, of course. Terrible thing. Must put a stop to it. Dammit."
  BTVS // Some Assembly Required

• Willow: "I bet you have a lot of groupies."
  Oz: "It happens. I'm living groupie free nowadays. I'm clean."
  BTVS // Surprise

• Cordelia: "What's he waiting for? What's his problem? Oh, that's right. He's a guy."
  Willow: "Yeah, him and Xander. Guys."
  Cordelia: "Who do they think they are?"
  Willow: "Coupla guys."
  BTVS // Phases

• Xander: "Can I just say 'gyah!'"
  Buffy: "I see your 'gyah!' and raise you a a 'nyugh!'"
  BTVS // Bad Eggs

• Spike: "Well, our old place was just fine til you went and had it burned down."
  BTVS // I Only Have Eyes For You

• Buffy: "You sold me that dress for Halloween, and nearly got us all killed!"
  Ethan: "But you looked great."
  BTVS // The Dark Age

• Spike: "I was actually at Woodstock. That was a weird gig. I fed off a flower person and I spent the next six hours watching my hand move."
  BTVS // School Hard

• Spike: “Millions of people walking around like happymeals with legs.”
  BTVS // Becoming 2

• Xander: "Whoa. Whoa! I...I think I'm having a thought. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's a thought. Now I'm having a plan."
  BTVS // Innocence

• Angel: "Hello, lover."
  BTVS // Becoming

• Spike: "Slaaayyyerrr...here kitty kitty..."
  BTVS // School Hard

• Buffy: "Darn. I really wanted to hit him til he bled."
  BTVS // The Dark Age

• Willow: "The reflection thing, you don't have. Angel how do you shave?"
  BTVS // Reptile Boy

• Xander: "If they hurt Willow, I'll kill you."
  BTVS // When She Was Bad

• Buffy: "And if you wouldn't mind a little Gene and Roger, you might want to leave off the idiot part. Being called an idiot tends to take people OUT of the dating mood."
  Xander: "It actually kinda turns me on."
  Buffy: "I fear you."
  BTVS // Some Assembly Required

• Buffy: "We're having this thing at school."
  Angel: "Career week?"
  Buffy: "How did you know?"
  Angel: "I lurk."
  BTVS // What's My Line

• Whistler: “Hello to the imagery! Very nice!”
  BTVS // Becoming 2

• Angelus: "I'm back."
  BTVS // Innocence

• Spike: "I know you haven't been in the game for awhile, mate, but we do still kill people. Sort of our reson detre, you know."
  BTVS // Innocence

• Spike: "Hurts, doesn't it?"
  Angelus: "Well, you know, it kinda itches a little."
  BTVS // Innocence

• Buffy: "It was terrible. I moped over you for months. Sitting in my room listening to that Divinyls song 'I Touch Myself'. Of course, I had no idea what it was about."
  BTVS // Lie to Me

• Cordelia: "Hi, sorry to interrupt your little undead play group, but I need to ask Willow if she'll help me with my science fair project?"
  Willow: "It's a fruit."
  BTVS // Some Assembly Required

• Xander: "And while I'm whittling, I plan to whistle a jaunty tune."
  BTVS // School Hard

• Giles: "It acts on pure instinct. No conscience, predatory and aggressive."
  Buffy: "In other words, your typical male."
  Xander: "On behalf of my gender, hey!"
  Giles: "Yes, let's not jump to any conclusions."
  Buffy: "I didn't jump. I took a tiny step, and there conclusions were."
  BTVS // Phases

• Spike: “Well… this is just… neat!”
  BTVS // Halloween

• Cordelia: "Why are these terrible things always happening to me?"
  Xander: ::cough::"Karma"::cough::
  BTVS // Some Assembly Required

• Buffy: "Let's try and keep in touch."
  BTVS // Killed by Death

• Buffy: "Come on. Kick my ass."
  BTVS // When She Was Bad

• Angel: "We need you to distract the vampires."
  Buffy: "Right."
  Angel: "What are you gonna do?"
  Buffy: "I'm gonna kill them all. That oughtta distract 'em."
  BTVS // When She Was Bad

• Buffy: "I can't do this! I can't take care of things! I killed my Giga Pet. Literally, I sat on it and it broke."
  BTVS // Bad Eggs

• Spike: "Well, then, I'll only kill you just this once!"
  BTVS // What's My Line 2

• Buffy: "Willow, grow up. Not everything is about kissing."
  Xander: "Yeah, stuff's about groping. It wasn't about groping?"
  BTVS // When She Was Bad

• Xander: "I am the bug man, koo koo ka choo."
  BTVS // What's My Line Pt 1

• Cordelia: "Gee, Xander, what are you gonna teach when you fail in life? Advanced loser being?"
  Xander: "I will teach...ze language of love."
  BTVS // Becoming

• Angel: "I loved you with my last breath."
  BTVS // I only have eyes for you

• Buffy: "And if you wouldn't mind a little Gene and Roger, you might want to leave off the idiot part. Being called an idiot tends to take people out of the dating mood."
  Xander: "Hmm, it actually kinda turns me on."
  Buffy: "I fear you."
  BTVS // Some Assembly Required

• Xander: "No shirts with ruffles, no hats with feathers, and definitely no lederhosen. They make my calves look fat."
  BTVS // Inca Mummy Girl

• Joyce: "Well go on, make a wish."
  Buffy: "I'll just let it burn."
  BTVS // Innocence

• Cordy: "I just don't see why everyone's always picking on Marie Antoinette. I can *so* relate to her. She worked really hard to look that good, and people just don't appreciate that kind of effort."
  BTVS // Lie to Me

• Giles: “You mean life?”
  Buffy: “Yeah. Does it get easy.”
  Giles: “What do you want me to say.”
  Buffy: “Lie to me.”
  Giles: “Yes, it’s terribly simple. The good guys are always stalwart and true, the bad guys are easily distinguished by their pointy horns and black hats, and we always defeat them and save the day. No one ever dies, and everybody lives happily ever after.”
  Buffy: “Liar.”
  BTVS // Lie to Me

• Cordelia: "Oh, look, it's the 3 Musketeers."
  Buffy: "Was that an insult?"
  Xander: "It kinda lacked punch."
  Willow: "The 3 Musketeers were cool."
  Cordelia: "I see your point."
  BTVS // When She Was Bad

• Spike: "I won't have you feeding me like a child, Dru!"
  Angelus: "Why not? She already bathes you, carries you around, and changes you like a child."
  BTVS // Passion

• Spike: "Look at you. You're shaking. You're terrified. Alone. Lost little lamb. ::laughs:: I love it."
  BTVS // Halloween

• Angelus: "Force won't get it done. You gotta work from the inside. To kill this girl, you have to love her."
  BTVS // Innocence

• Xander: "And speaking of love..."
  Willow: "We were talking about the reanimation of dead tissue."
  Xander: "Do I deconstruct your segues?"
  BTVS // Some Assembly Required

• Spike: "Yeah, I did a couple slayers in my time. I don't like to brag. Who am I kidding? I love to brag!"
  BTVS // School Hard

• Angel: "Do you love me?"
  Buffy: "What?"
  Angel: "Do you?"
  Buffy: "I love you."
  BTVS // Lie to Me

• Cordelia: "So, did you guys fight any demons this summer?"
  Willow: "Uh, yes our own personal demons!"
  Xander: "Uh, such as lust, and thrift!"
  Buffy: "I would have to go with stooges also."
  BTVS // When She Was Bad

• Xander: "Oh, okay, I got one. 'It's a mad house! A mad-'"
  Willow: "Planet of the Apes!"
  Xander: "Can I finish, please?"
  Willow: "Oh. Sorry. Go ahead."
  Xander: "'-house!'"
  Willow: "Planet of the Apes."
  BTVS // When She Was Bad

• Oz: "So, do you guys steal weapons from the army a lot?"
  Willow: "Well, we don't have cable, so we have to make our own fun."
  BTVS // Innocence

• Buffy: "Do we really need weapons for this?"
  Spike: "I just like them. They make me feel all manly."
  BTVS // School Hard

• Cordelia: "I just don't see why everyone picks on Marie Antoinette. I can so relate to her. She worked really hard to look that good and people don't appreciate that kind of effort."
  BTVS // Lie to Me

• Cordy: "You drag me out of bed for a ride? What am I, mass transportation?"
  Xander: "That's what a lot of guys say, but it's just locker room talk, I wouldn't pay it any mind."
  BTVS // What’s My Line 1

• Buffy: "Welcome to the mystery that is men. I think it goes something like, they grow body hair, they lose all ability to tell you what they really want."
  BTVS // Phases

• Willow: “I’ll give Xander a call. What’s his number? Oh, yeah, 1-800-I'm-Dating-A-Skanky-Ho.”
  Buffy: “Meow!”
  Willow: “Really? Thanks. I’ve never gotten a meow before.”
  Buffy: “Well deserved.”
  Willow: “Darn tootin’!”
  BTVS // Phases

• Angel: “I missed you.”
  BTVS // When She Was Bad

• Drusilla: "You see, Miss Edith? If you'd been good, you could watch with the rest."
  BTVS // School Hard

• Buffy: “Miss me?”
  BTVS // When She was Bad

• Spike: "Idiot mob."
  BTVS // School Hard

• Xander: "I got a movie for ya!"
  Willow: "Xander!"
  Willow: "You're amish! You can't fight back, 'cause you're Amish. I mock you with my ice cream cone, Amish guy!"
  Willow: "Witness."
  BTVS // When She Was Bad

• Oz: "I mock you with my monkey pants."
  BTVS // What’s My Line 2

• Giles: "We're having a party tonight."
  Xander: "Looks like Mr. Caution Man, but the sound he makes is funny."
  BTVS // Surprise

• Drusilla: "Don't fret, Kitten. Mummy's here."
  BTVS // Bothered, Bewitched, and Bewildered

• Xander: "Well, I guess that makes it official. Everybody's paired off. Vampires get dates. Hell, even the school librarian sees more action than me. You ever think that world's a giant game of musical chairs, and we're the only ones who don't have a chair?"
  Willow: "All the time."
  Cordelia: "Xander? I just wanted to thank you for saving my life. What you did in there was really brave and heroic and I just wanted to tell you if there was anything I could ever do to-"
  Xander: "Do you mind? We're talking here. So where were we?"
  Willow: "Wondering why we never get dates."
  Xander: "Yeah, so why do you think that is?"
  BTVS // Some Assembly Required

• Ford: "Is that more vampires?"
  Buffy: "Must be the weather."
  BTVS // Lie to Me

• Drusilla: "I've brought her especially for you. To cheer you up. And I've named her Sunshine."
  BTVS // Passion

• Drusilla: "I'm naming all the stars."
  Spike: "You can't see the stars, luv. That's the ceiling. Also it's day."
  BTVS // Innocence

• Xander: "Na na na na na."
  BTVS // Passion

• Angel: "Vampires."
  Xander: "Oh! We usually call them the nasty, pointy, bitey ones."
  BTVS // Lie to Me

• Spike: "Would you like a new bird? One that's not dead?"
  BTVS // Lie to Me

• Drusilla: "Look at all the people. Are these nice people?"
  BTVS // School Hard

• Drusilla: "Night night."
  BTVS // Becoming 1

• Angel: "You can see all that in your head?"
  Spike: "No, you ninny, she read it in the morning paper."
  BTVS // Becoming 1

• Spike: "I don't want to hurt you baby. ::struggle:: Doesn't mean I won't."
  BTVS // Becoming 2

• Buffy: "Giles, come on, budge. Nobody likes a nonbudger."
  BTVS // Inca Mummy Girl

• Willow: "My nose is cold."
  BTVS // When She Was Bad

• Cordelia: "What the hell are you doing here?"
  Xander: "I'm undercover!"
  Buffy: "You're not under much."
  BTVS // Go Fish

• Cordelia: "I think you splashed on just a little too much 'Obsession For Dorks'."
  BTVS // Phases

• Willow: "Are you okay?"
  Oz: "I, uh, I'm shot! Y'know. Wow! It's odd! And painful."
  BTVS // What's My Line

• Buffy: "'Cause I'm not well. Uh, I feel all oogy."
  Xander: "Increased ooginess. That's a danger signal."
  BTVS // Killed by Death

• Drusilla: "Come on, love, you've got to eat something to keep your strength up! Now...rrr...open up for mummy!"
  BTVS // Passion

• Giles: "Just go. Get out of my sight."
  BTVS // Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered

• Buffy: "Look on the bright side. It'll all be over soon."
  Angelus: "Yes, my love. It will."
  BTVS // Becoming

• Drusilla: "I brought something for you. Poor thing... she's an orphan. He owner died... without a fight."
  BTVS // Passion

• Xander: "Well, good morning, ladies. And what did you two do last night?"
  Willow: "We had kind of a 'pajama party sleepover with weapons' thing."
  Xander: "Oh. And I don't suppose either of you had the presence of mind to locate a camera to capture the moment."
  BTVS // Passion

• Spike: "It's paradise. Big windows, lovely gardens. It'll be perfect when we want the sunlight to kill us."
  BTVS // I Only Have Eyes For You

• Angelus: "Well, maybe next time I'll bring you with me, Spike. Might be handy to have you around if I ever need a really good parking space."
  BTVS // Passion

• Angelus: "Passion. It lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unwanted, unbidden, it will stir. Open it's jaws...and howl."
  BTVS // Passion

• Willow: "You delved into the black arts and conjured up a hellbeast from the ocean's depths to wreak your vengeance.Didn't you?"
  Jonathon: "What? No! I snuck in yesterday and peed in the pool."
  Willow: "Oh. Eww!"
  BTVS // Go Fish

• Xander: "Apparently Buffy has decided the problem with the English language is all those pesky words. You...Angel...big...smoochies?"
  Buffy: "Shut...up."
  BTVS // Bad Eggs

• Cordelia: "I just know your pizza delivery career will take you so many riveting places."
  BTVS // Reptile Boy

• Buffy: "It's entirely pointy!"
  BTVS // When She Was Bad

• Buffy: "You know polite people call before they jump out of the bushes and attack you."
  BTVS // Becoming

• Buffy: "I don't get it. Why would anybody want to make a girl?"
  Xander: "You mean, when there's so many premade ones just laying around?"
  BTVS // Some Assembly Required

• Spike: "Yeah, that'll work. Now say pretty please."
  BTVS // Surprise

• Willow: "Well, what about the rest of the note?"
  Buffy: "Rest of the note?"
  Willow: "The part that says 'P.S.-This is a trap!"
  BTVS // When She Was Bad

• Xander: "You're bad to the bone."
  Willow: "I'm a rebel."
  BTVS // School Hard

• Xander: "Ooh, gang, did you hear that? A bonus day of class plus Cordelia. Mix in a little rectal surgery, and it's my best day ever!"
  The Dark Age

• Drusilla: “It reeks of death.”
  BTVS // Surprise

• Spike: "Do you like it, baby?"
  Drusilla: "It reeks of death."
  BTVS // Surprise

• Giles: "I suppose there is a sort of Machiavellian ingenuity to your transgression."
  Xander: "I resent that! Or possibly thank you."
  BTVS // Bad Eggs

• Willow: "There's no use arguing with me. Do you see my resolved face? You've seen it before, you know what it means."
  BTVS // Becoming 2

• Buffy: “I have had a really bad day, okay. If you have information worth hearing, then I am greatful for it. If you’re gonna crack jokes, then I’m gonna pull out your ribcage and wear it as a hat."
  Whistler: “Hello to the imagery! Very nice.”
  BTVS // Becoming 2

• Cordelia: "Buffy, these men are rich. And I am *not* being shallow. Think of all the poor people I could help with all my money!"
  BTVS // Reptile Boy

• Angel: "Why are you riding me?"
  BTVS // When She Was Bad

• Spike: "My black goddess. My ripe...wicked...plum."
  BTVS // What's My Line 2

• Drusilla: “Rip their throats out.”
  Angel: “AAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHAAAA!”
  BTVS // What’s My Line 2

• Giles: "You must perform the ritual...in a tutu."
  BTVS // Becoming

• Angelus: "Don't worry, Roller Boy. I've got everything under control."
  BTVS // Passion

• Angelus: "As long as there's injustice in the world, as long as scum like you is walking...well, rolling the streets...I'll be around. Look over your shoulder. I'll be there."
  BTVS // Innocence

• Spike: "I'm sorry, baby. I'm a bad, rude man."
  BTVS // What's My Line

• Giles: "I just think it's rather odd that a nation that prides itself on it's virility should feel compelled to strap on 40 pounds of protective gear just in order to play rugby."
  BTVS // Some Assembly Required

• Xander: "Yeah, nothing but a bunch of computer equipment and a pornography collection so prodigious it even scared me."
  BTVS // Some Assembly Required

• Xander: "Those poor schlubs have to attend school on Saturday!"
  Jenny: "9am okay with you, Xander?"
  Buffy: "Got a bit of schlub on your shoe there."
  BTVS // The Dark Age

• Spike: "Do I have *anyone* on watch here? It's called security, people, are you all asleep? Or did we finally find a restaurant that delivers?"
  BTVS // Lie to Me

• Angelus: "What can I say, I just loove to see you smile, buddy."
  BTVS // Passion

• Giles: "Why did you come here?! This wasn't your fight!"
  Buffy: "Are you trying to get yourself killed?! You can't leave me. I can't do this alone."
  BTVS // Passion

• Xander: "What's the problem? We send Cordy to fight this guy, and we go for pizza."
  BTVS // Surprise

• Giles: "Just don't be late."
  Buffy: "Have I ever let you down?"
  Giles: "Do you want me to answer that, or shall I just glare?"
  BTVS // The Dark Age

• Buffy: "What was I thinking, my god? Shame, shame! I gotta go."
  BTVS // Halloween

• Willow: "The reflection thing that you don't have. Angel, how do you shave?"
  BTVS // Reptile Boy?

• Giles: "And the rest is silence."
  BTVS // The Dark Age

• Drusilla: "You sing the sweetest little song. Won't you sing for me, hmm? Don't you love me anymore?"
  BTVS // Lie to Me

• Xander: "That's for the makeup, and that's for the last sixteen and a half years!"
  BTVS // Reptile Boy

• Xander: "You slash me with your words!"
  BTVS // What's My Line

• Kendra: "The slayer handbook insists on it."
  Willow: "There's a Slayer handbook?"
  Buffy: "Wait. Handbook? What handbook? How come I don't have a handbook?"
  Willow: "Is there a T-shirt, too? 'Cause that would be cool..."
  BTVS // What's My Line Pt 2

• Cordelia: "So, your secret's safe with me."
  Buffy: "Well, that works out great. You won't tell anyone that I'm the slayer, and I won't tell anyone you're a moron!"
  Xander: "Now that was a good insult."
  Willow: "A little too good."
  BTVS // When She Was Bad

• Buffy: "So, are you gonna kill me, or are we just making small talk?"
  BTVS // When She Was Bad

• Xander: "Oh, yeah, baby, it's snakelicious in here."
  BTVS // I Only Have Eyes For You

• Buffy: "Xander, how do you feel about digging through some of Giles' personal files and seeing what you can find?"
  Xander: "I feel pretty good about it. Does that make me a sociopath?"
  BTVS // The Dark Age

• Drusilla: "This is so dissapointing!"
  BTVS // Becoming

• Drusilla: "Why, Angel! Where you have been? The sun is almost up, and it can be so hurtful."
  BTVS // Passion

• Willow: "Okay, but do they really stick out?"
  Xander: "What?"
  Willow: "Sore thumbs, do they stick out? I mean, have you ever seen a thumb and gone, 'Wow, that baby is sore'?"
  Xander: "You have too many thoughts."
  BTVS // Lie to Me

• Willow: "I'm sorry about how all this ended up, with me shooting you and all."
  Oz: "It's okay. I'm sorry I almost ate you."
  Willow: "It's okay."
  BTVS // Phases

• Angelus: "Tonight's special. I wanted to look my best for you."
  BTVS // I Only Have Eyes For You

• Buffy: "Add it up, it all spells duh!"
  BTVS // Some Assembly Required

• Drusilla: "How do you feel about eternal life?"
  Xander: "We couldn't just start with a coffee?"
  BTVS // Bothered, Bewitched, and Bewildered

• Giles: "I think it's very clear what's happening here."
  Xander: "Fill me in, then. 'Cause I've read the book, seen the movie, and I'm still fuzzy about what's going on."
  BTVS // I Only Have Eyes For You

• Buffy: "Are you crazy?! You don't just sneak up on people in a graveyard. You make noise when you walk. You...stomp. Or yodel."
  BTVS // Some Assembly Required

• Xander: "Now is it time to have a talk about the facts of life?"
  Giles: "You know, I'm suddenly deciding this is none of your business."
  Xander: "You know, 'cause that whole stork thing is a smoke screen."
  BTVS // Some Assembly Required

• Oz: "That kinda hurt."
  Xander: "Kinda?! What was that for?"
  Oz: "I was on the phone all night listening to Willow cry about you. Now, I don't know exactly what happened, but I was left with a very strong urge to hit you."
  BTVS // Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered

• Drusilla: "I met an old man. I didn't like him. He got stuck in my teeth."
  BTVS // Becoming 1

• Buffy: "Was he a studly?"
  BTVS // Some Assembly Required

• Buffy: "Do you stuff your own shirts or do you send em out?"
  BTVS // Halloween

• Giles: "You have responsibilities that other girls do not."
  Buffy: "Oh, I know this one! Slaying entails certain sacrifices blah blah biddy blah, I'm so stuffy gimme a scone
  BTVS // Inca Mummy Girl

• Drusilla: "Where have you been? The sun is almost up, and it can be so hurtful."
  BTVS // Passion

• Cordy: "But, she's like this superman. Shouldn't there be different rules for her?"
  Willow: "Sure, in a fascist society."
  Cordy: "Right! Why can't we have one of those?"
  BTVS // Ted

• Xander: "Cordy, you should go with Giles."
  Giles: "Why do I have to have...Uh, good thinking. I could use a research assistant."
  Cordelia: "Let's go, tact-guy."
  BTVS // Killed by Death

• Giles: "Cordelia, have you actually ever heard of tact?"
  Cordelia: "Tact is just not saying true stuff. I'll pass."
  BTVS // Killed by Death

• Spike: "Uh-uh. No fair going into the ring unless he tags you first."
  BTVS // Passion

• Xander: "Well, we could grind our enemies into talcum powder with a sledgehammer, but gosh, we did that last night."
  BTVS // When She Was Bad

• Spike: "Come on, talk to Daddy."
  BTVS // Halloween

• Buffy: "Giles? Who counts tardiness as, like, the eighth deadly sin?"
  BTVS // The Dark Age

• Willow: "I know! We could go to the Bronze and sneak in our own tea bags and ask for hot water."
  Xander: "Hop off the outlaw train, Will, before you land us all in jail."
  BTVS // Reptile Boy

• Xander: "Willow. She told me to tell you..."
  Buffy: "Tell me what?"
  Xander: "Kick his ass."
  BTVS // Becoming 2

• Cordelia: "Hello? Can we deal with my pain please?"
  Giles: "There, there."
  BTVS // Some Assembly Required

• Buffy: "You just say, hey, I got a thing, you maybe have a thing, maybe we could have a thing."
  Giles: "Thank you, Cyrano."
  BTVS // Some Assembly Required

• Spike: "You've got thirty seconds to convince me not to kill you."
  BTVS // Lie to Me

• Xander: "That's it! Twelve years of you and I'm snappin'! I don't care if you're a girl or not, I'm throwin' down! Come on!"
  Cordelia: "I've seen you fight. And don't think I can't take you!"
  Xander: "Give it your best shot."
  BTVS //

• Spike: "Will you hold on a second! Hey! White flag here, I quit."
  Buffy: "Let me clear this up for you. We're mortal enemies. We don't get time outs."
  BTVS // Becoming 2

• Angelus: "'Cause I really wanna torture you."
  BTVS // Becoming

• Buffy: "Look, Angel, I'm sorry if I was supposed to spend the summer mooning over you, but I didn't. I've moved on. To the living."
  BTVS // When She Was Bad

• Drusilla: “I want a treat. I neeeeed a treat.”
  BTVS // Lie to Me

• Xander: "That's a very interesting point about trout you just brought up now."
  Giles: "Trout? Trout. Yes. A trout...is a fish. Good morning."
  BTVS // When She Was Bad

• Giles: "I cannot believe that you are fool enough to do something like this!"
  Xander: "Oh, no, I'm twice the fool it takes to do something like this."
  BTVS // Bothered, Bewitched, and Bewildered

• Spike: "Who the hell is this?!"
  Buffy: "It's your lucky day, Spike."
  Kendra: "Two Slayers!"
  Buffy: "No waiting!"
  BTVS // What's My Line

• Buffy: "This is so unfair."
  Willow: "I don't think it's that bad."
  Buffy: "It's the uber suck."
  BTVS // Inca Mummy Girl

• Oz: "Uh...arm?"
  BTVS // Innocence

• Buffy: "You're a vampire. Oh, I'm sorry, is that an offensive term? Should I say 'Undead American'?"
  BTVS // When She Was Bad

• Oz: "I'm gonna ask you to go out with me tomorrow night, and I'm kinda nervous about it, actually. It's interesting."
  Willow: "Oh. Well, if it helps at all, I'm gonna say yes."
  Oz: "Yeah, it helps. It creates a comfort zone. Do you wanna go out with me tomorrow night?"
  Willow: "Oh, I can't!"
  BTVS // Surprise

• Buffy: "I seem to be having a slight case of nudity here."
  Oz: "But you're not a rat. So call it an upside."
  BTVS // Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered

• Spike: "Very funny, mate."
  BTVS

• Spike: "Let me guess. Someone pulls out the sword..."
  Angelus: "Someone worthy..."
  Spike: "Demon wakes up, and wackiness ensues."
  BTVS // Becoming

• Xander: "Those wacky vampires, that's why I love them. They just keep you guessing."
  BTVS // Halloween

• Xander: "You gotta wake up. I need you, Will. I mean, how am I gonna pass Trig, you know? And who am I gonna call every night and talk about everything we did all day? You're my best friend. You've always...I love you."
  BTVS // Becoming 2

• Drusilla: "We're going to destroy the world. Want to come?"
  BTVS // Innocence

• Willow: "Don't warn the tadpoles!"
  BTVS // What's My Line

• Xander: "Welcome, my little pretties."
  BTVS // What's My Line

• Angelus: "So that's everything, huh? No weapons. No friends. No hope. Take all that away, and what's left?"
  Buffy: "Me."
  BTVS // Becoming 2

• Xander: "Where are you from, the country of white trash?"
  BTVS // Inca Mummy Girl

• Oz: "Who *is* that girl?"
  BTVS // Halloween

• Buffy: "Were you drinking coffee again? 'Cause we've talked about this."
  Willow: "HA HA HA HA! It makes me jumpy..."
  BTVS // Lie to Me

• Buffy: "Xander. Did I ever thank you for saving my life?"
  Xander: "No."
  Buffy: "Don't you wish I would?"
  BTVS // When She Was Bad

• Buffy: "Yeah, Xander was pretty much being a...Willow! Where did you learn that word? My god, you kiss your mother with that mouth?"
  BTVS // Becoming

• Cordelia: "Ew! Why is it that every conversation you people have has the word 'corpse' in it?"
  BTVS // Some Assembly Required

• Oz: "Well, we know the world didn't end, 'cause...check it out."
  BTVS // Becoming 2

• Spike: “Someone wasn’t worthy.”
  BTVS // Becoming 1

• Spike: "Now. Any of you want to test who's got the biggest wrinklies around here...step on up."
  BTVS // School Hard

• Jenny: "All right, guys, the first thing we're going to do is...Buffy."
  Xander: "Huh? Did I fall asleep already?"
  BTVS // The Dark Age

• Willow: "I'm good at medical stuff, since Xander and I used to play doctor all the time."
  Xander: "No, she's being literal. She used to have all these medical volumes, and diagnosed me with stuff. I didn't have the heart to tell her she was playing it wrong."
  Willow: "Wrong? Why? How did you play doctor?"
  BTVS // Killed by Death

• Willow: "She couldn't have dressed up like Xena?"
  BTVS // Halloween

• Spike: "You were my sire, man! You were my yoda! Man, I can't believe this, you Uncle Tom!"
  BTVS // School Hard

• Giles: "You're not real."
  Xander: "Sure I'm real."
  Giles: "It's a trick. They get inside my head, make me see things I want."
  Xander: "Then why would they make you see me?"
  Giles: "You're right, let's go."
  BTVS // Becoming Pt 2

^ Top ^

• Buffy: "They're just test scores, right? What do they really mean anyway?"
  Willow: "1430?! Buffy you kicked ass! Okay, so academic achievement gets me a little excited."
  BTVS // Lover's Walk

• Cordelia: "Mom started borrowing my clothes. There should be an age limit on lycra pants. And Dad, he just locked himself in the bathroom with old copies of Esquire."
  BTVS // Band Candy

• Willow: "Aha! Sorry. I just meant...aha!"
  BTVS // Faith, Hope, and Trick

• Vamp Willow: "Alone at last."
  BTVS // Doppelgangland

• Willow: "I wonder what our first assignment's gonna be? Hey, you're excited over Cordelia, okay? We've all got issues."
  Buffy the Vampire Slayer // Anne

• Angel: "You still my girl?"
  Buffy: "Always."
  BTVS // Enemies

• Joyce: "It cheers up the room."
  Buffy: "It's angry at the room, Mom. It wants the room to suffer."
  BTVS // Dead Man's Party

• Oz: "Hey, you know, I took it last year. I could help you get ready. There's this whole trick to antonyms but...this isn't the place."
  Willow: "Oz is the highest scoring person ever to not graduate."
  BTVS // Band Candy

• Oz: "We're gonna make it through this."
  Willow: "Are you sure?"
  Oz: "I sound pretty sure, don't I?"
  Willow: "Yeah."
  Oz: "Then I must be sure."
  Willow: "Is that just a comforting way of not answering the question?"
  BTVS // Graduation Day 2

• Cordelia: "Do I look okay?"
  Willow: "Oh, yeah."
  Cordelia: "How's my hair?"
  Willow: "It's good!"
  Cordelia: "He didn't meet anybody over the summer, did he? No, who's he gonna meet in Sunnydale, but monsters and stuff. But then again, he's always been attracted to monsters. How's my hair?"
  Willow: "Still good."
  Buffy the Vampire Slayer // Anne

• Willow: "It's like, all of a sudden, I'm not cool enough for you because I can't kill things with my bare hands."
  ::Buffy sobs::
  Willow: "Oh! Oh, Buffy! Don't cry! I'm sorry! Oh, I was too hard on you! Sometimes I unleash! I don't know my own strength! It's bad! I'm bad! I'm a bad, bad, bad person!"
  BTVS // Consequences

• Buffy: "We have a marching jazz band?"
  Oz: "Yeah, but you know, since the best jazz is improvisational, we'd be going off in all directions, banging into floats. Scary."
  BTVS // Band Candy

• Xander: "Buffy. Banned from campus, but not from our hearts. How are you and what's for lunch?"
  BTVS // Faith, Hope and Trick

• Willow: "I'm trying to get to cute, really, but I'm still sorta stuck on strange."
  Oz: "Well, I'd be willing to bargain down to eccentric with an option on cool."
  BTVS // Anne

• Oz: "I mean, you look great. And you got the Barry working for you. And it's all good. But when it happens, I want it to be because we both need it to for the same reason. You don't have to prove anything to me."
  Buffy the Vampire Slayer // Amends

• Faith: "All men are beasts, Buffy."
  Buffy: "Okay, I was hoping to not get that cynical until I was at least 40."
  Faith: "It's not cynical. I mean, it's realistic. Every guy, from Manimal down to Mr I-love-the-English-patient has beast in him. And I don't care how sensitive they act, they're all still just in it for the chase."
  BTVS // Beauty and the Beasts

• Buffy: "Oh, I just threw a few things together."
  Cordelia: "When did you become Martha Stewart?"
  Buffy: "First of all, Martha Stewart knows jack about hand cut proscuitto."
  Xander: "I don't believe she slays, either."
  Oz: "Oh, I hear she can, but she doesn't like to."
  BTVS // Faith, Hope and Trick

• Anya: "What a day. Gimme a beer."
  Bartender: "ID. ID."
  Anya: "I’m 1120 years old, just give me a frickin beer!"
  Bartender: "ID."
  Anya: "Give me a coke."
  BTVS // Doppelgangland

• Xander: "So where were you? Did you go to Belgium?"
  Buffy: "Why would I go to Belgium?"
  Xander: "I think the relevant question is, why wouldn't you? Belgium."
  BTVS // Dead Man's Party

• Giles: "She was truly the finest of all of us."
  Xander: "Way better than me."
  Giles: "Much, much better."
  BTVS // Doppelgangland

• Buffy: "You're talking an awful lot on faith here, Jeeves."
  Giles: "Giles."
  Buffy: "Kill the bad fairy, destroy the bad fairy's power center, whatever. And all the troubles go away?"
  Giles: "I'm sure it's not that simple.
  Buffy: "World is what it is. We fight, we die, Wishing doesn't change that."
  Giles: "I have to believe in a better world."
  Buffy: "Go ahead. I have to live in this one."
  BTVS // The Wish

• Faith: "Look at you. All dressed up in big sister's clothes."
  BTVS // Graduation Day 1

• Willow: "It's a little binding. I guess vampires don't really have to breathe. Gosh, look at those."
  Giles ::stammers::
  BTVS // Doppelganglad

• Vamp Willow: "Bitch."
  BTVS // Dopplegangland

• Buffy: "Bite me."
  BTVS // Helpless

• Willow: "OK. That's a little blacker than I like my arts."
  BTVS // Doppelgangland

• Buffy: "How did you find me here?"
  Angel: "If I was blind, I would see you."
  BTVS // Anne

• Giles: "You have the emotional maturity of a blueberry scone."
  BTVS // The Prom

• Willow: "Well, boo hoo! Poor you!"
  BTVS // Choices

• Vamp Willow: "Bored now."
  BTVS // The Wish

• Willow: "You were real brave. Do you need to barf?"
  BTVS // Lover's Walk

• Nurse: "What are you doing?"
  Buffy: "Breaking into your office and going through your personal files."
  Buffy the Vampire Slayer // Anne

• Willow: "What does he want from us anyway?"
  Xander: "The number of a qualified surgeon to remove the British flag from his butt?"
  BTVS // Revelations

• Vamp!Xander: "Buffy? The slayer?"
  Cordelia: "No, Buffy the dog-faced girl! Duh! Who do you think I'm talking about?"
  BTVS // The Wish

• Cordy: "Well, I bumped my head yesterday, and I keep forgetting stuff."
  BTVS // The Wish

• Sheila Rosenburg: "Oh hi, Bunny."
  BTVS // Gingerbread

• Xander: "No. You're in a band. That's like a business class ticket to cool with complimentary mojo after take-off. I gotta learn an instrument. Is it hard to play guitar?"
  Oz: "Not the way I play it."
  BTVS // The Zeppo

• Vamp Willow: "You're in a big cage!"
  BTVS // The Wish

• Buffy: "So let me get this straight. I'm really back in school because the school board overruled you. Wow. That's like having your whole ability to do this job called into question, when you think about it."
  Joyce: "I think what my daughter's trying to say is... nyah-nyah-nyah-nyah-nyah."
  BTVS // Faith, Hope and Trick

• Buffy: "Um, actually, I do have a thing."
  Angel: "Oh, a thing. A date?"
  Buffy: "Nice attempt at casual. Actually, I do have a date. Older man. Very handsome. Likes it when I call him 'daddy'."
  Angel: "Oh, your father. It is your father, right?"
  BTVS // Helpless

• Xander: "I don't get this. The candy's supposed to make you feel all immature and stuff, but I've had a ton and I don't feel any diff...nevermind."
  BTVS // Bandy Candy

• Xander: "This is not good."
  Cordelia: "What's not good?"
  Xander: "Well, I'm just worried it might hurt my standing as campus stud when people find out I'm dating a brain."
  Cordelia: "Please. I have some experience in covering these things up."
  BTVS // Lover's Walk

• Cordelia: "Oh, god, are we killing something again?"
  Buffy: "Only my carefree spirit."
  BTVS // Bandy Candy

• Spike: "And she would fliiirt! I caught her on a park bench making out with a chaos demon! Have you ever seen a chaos demon? They're all slime and antlers, they're disgusting. She only did it to hurt me."
  BTVS // Lover's Walk

• Buffy: "You really love Xander?"
  Cordelia: "Well, he kinda grows on you. Like a chia pet."
  BTVS // Homecoming

• Faith: "We're slayers, girlfriend. The chosen two."
  BTVS // Bad Girls

• Xander: "Well, I'll be enjoying my anual Chrismas Eve campout. See, I take my sleeping bag outside and I go to sleep on the grass."
  Buffy: "Sounds fun."
  Xander: "Yeah, I like to look at the stars, you know. Feel the whole nature vibe."
  Cordelia: "I thought you slept outside to avoid your family's drunken Christmas fights."
  Xander: "Yes, and that was a confidence I was hoping you would share with everyone."
  Buffy the Vampire Slayer // Amends

• Jonathon: "So the senior class offers it's thanks, and gives you...uh...this. It's from all of us, and it has written here, 'Buffy Summers. Class Protector.'"BTVS // The Prom

• Cordelia: "I don't know. I just thought we were gonna do something, you know, classy?"
  Xander: "What's classier than bowling?"
  Cordelia: "Apart from everything ever?"
  BTVS // Lover's Walk

• Willow: "740?! Verbal?! I'm pathetic! Illiterate! I'm Cletus the slack-jawed yokel!"
  Xander: "That's right, and the fact that your 740 verbal closely resembles my combined score in no way compromises your position as village idiot."
  BTVS // Lover's Walk

• Willow: "Have you ever noticed though, when he is mad but he's too English to say anything, he makes that weird 'cluck cluck' sound with his tongue?"
  Buffy: "Hi, Giles!"
  Willow: "Oh. Hi. Been there long?"
  BTVS //

• Cordelia: "There are cockroaches in Mexico big enough to own property."
  Buffy the Vampire Slayer // Anne

• Cordelia: "What if they were kidnapped by Columbian drug lords? They could be cutting off Xander's ear right now. Or other parts..."
  BTVS // Lover's Walk

• Xander: "I don't want to come on too geeky, but okay, I'm psyched. There's gonna be some heat, if you know what I mean, so you guys might want to duck and cover. And I'm starting to be geeky."
  Buffy the Vampire Slayer // Anne

• Lyle: "I'm gonna kill both you Slayers for this! You hear me?"
  Cordelia: "I hear you, you redneck moron. You got a dress that goes with that hat?"
  Lyle: "I'm gonna -"
  Cordelia: "Rip out my innards, play with my eyeballs, boil my brain and eat it for brunch? Listen up, needle-brain. Buffy and I have taken out four of your cronies, not to mention your girlfriend."
  Lyle: "WIFE!"
  Cordelia: "Whatever. The point is, I haven't even broken a sweat. See, in the end, Buffy's just the runner-up. I'm the Queen. You get me mad, what do you think I'm gonna do to you?"
  Lyle: "Later."
  BTVS // Homecoming

• Cordelia: "I wish Buffy Summers had never come to Sunnydale."
  Anya: "Done."
  Cordelia: "That would be cool. No, wait. I wish Buffy Summers had never been born."
  Anya: "Done!"
  Cordelia: "And I wish that Xander Harris never again knows the touch of a woman. And that Willow wakes up tomorrow covered in monkey hair."
  Anya: "Done!"
  Cordelia: "In fact, I wish all men, except maybe the dumb and the really agreeable kind, disappeared off the face of the earth. That would be so cool! "
  BTVS // The Wish

• Angel: "Hey. I'll love you even if you're covered with slime."
  Buffy: "I liked everything until that part."
  BTVS // Earshot

• The sound of the Master cracking Buffy's neck in The Wish.

• Buffy: "She even has that test to see if you're crazy that asks if you ever hear voices or if you ever wanted to be a florist."
  Willow: "Oh, I used to want...wait...florist means crazy, right? I never wanted to do that."
  BTVS // Doppelgangland

• Willow: "He wants me to do a love spell."
  Xander: "What?"
  Willow: "Drusilla broke up with him."
  Xander: "Gee, and we'd all hoped those crazy kids would make it work."
  BTVS // Lover's Walk

• Buffy: "Great thing about being a slayer? Kicking ass is comfort food."
  BTVS // The Prom

• Vamp Willow: "You made me cranky."
  BTVS // The Wish

• Xander: "Aren't you supposed to be drinking tea, anyway?"
  Giles: "Tea is soothing. I wish to be tense."
  Xander: "Okay, but you're destroying a perfectly good cultural stereotype here."
  BTVS // Graduation Day 2

• Faith: "Ready to cut loose?"
  BTVS // Graduation Day 1

• Buffy: "We are gonna get out of here, and we're gonna head back to the library, where Giles and the rest of the weapons live. Then I'm going to take out the rest of these guys, just in time for you to congratulate me on my sweeping victory as Homecoming Queen."
  Cordelia: "I know what you're up to. You think if you get me mad enough I won't be so scared. And hey, it's working! Where's a damn weapon?"
  BTVS // Homecoming

• Oz: "Well, it looks dead. Smells dead. Yet it's moving around. That's interesting."
  BTVS // Dead Man's Party

• Larry: "Okay, the entire world sucks because some dead ditz made a wish? Just want to be clear."
  BTVS // The Wish

• Willow: "Oh, god, demon, demon! What kills a demon?"
  Buffy: "Nerf! Nerf!"
  Willow: "Oh, nerf. Not nerf, knife!"
  BTVS // The Wish

• Joyce: "You can't keep her out of school, you don't have the right."
  Snyder: "I have not only the right, but also the nearly physical sensation of pleasure at the thought of keeping her out of school. I describe myself as tingly."
  BTVS // Dead Man's Party

• Angel: "You deserve more. You deserve something outside of demons and darkness. You should be with someone who can take you into the light. Someone who can make love to you."
  BTVS // The Prom

• Willow: "I-I-I'm ready."
  Oz: "Okay, well, don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not."
  Willow: "Are you scared? 'Cause I thought you had-"
  Oz: "No, I have, but this is different. I mean, you look great and you got the Barry working for you, and it's all...good, but...when it happens, I want it to be because we both need it to, for the same reason. You don't have to prove anything to me."
  BTVS // Amends

• Buffy: "Who are you? How could you do this to me?"
  Giles: "I am deeply sorry, Buffy, and you have to understand-"
  Buffy: "If you touch me, I'll kill you."
  BTVS // Helpless

• Faith: "You like him. And when you think about him, you get that good, down low tickle, right?"
  Buffy: "Yeah, I guess...how low?"
  Faith: "You tell me."
  Buffy: "How about not?"
  BTVS // Beauty and the Beasts

• Buffy: "Drink me."
  BTVS // Graduation Day 2

• Snyder: "Woah, Summers, you drive like a spaz!"
  BTVS // Bandy Candy

• Willow: "Say, you all didn't happen to do a bunch of drugs, did yah?"
  BTVS // Doppelgangland

• Vamp Willow: "No. This is a dumb world. In my world, there are people in chains and you can ride them like ponies."
  BTVS // Doppelegangland

• Xander: "We're just very good friends, who like to hang out, and can I kiss your earlobe?"
  Willow: "No! Well, okay. No! Pez!"
  BTVS // Lover's Walk

• Buffy: "Your logic does not resemble our Earth logic."
  Xander: "Mine's much more advanced."
  BTVS // The Wish

• Mayor Wilkins: "That's one spunky little girl you've raised. I'm gonna eat her."
  BTVS // Graduation Day

• Angel: "Well...he's not crazy about germs."
  Cordelia: "Of course. That's it! We'll attack him with germs."
  Buffy: "Great. We'll get him cornered and then you can sneeze on him."
  Cordelia: "No! No, we'll get a container of Ebola virus and...and, uh...or, it doesn't even have to be real, we can just get a box that says 'Ebola' on it, and, uh, chase him. With the box."
  Xander: "I'm starting to lean to the hummus offensive."
  Oz: "He'll never see it coming."
  BTVS // Graduation Day 2

• Xander: "Woah, smells like church in here. No, wait. Evil church."
  BTVS // Lover's Walk

• Willow: "I'm so evil, and skanky. And I think I'm kinda gay."
  Buffy: "Willow, just remember, a vampire's personality has nothing to do with the person it was."
  Angel: "Well, actually...that's a good point."
  BTVS // Doppelgangland

• Willow: "Good luck. Try not to kill people. Hands, hands!"
  BTVS // Doppelgangland

• Xander: "I need a thing. One thing nobody else has. What do I have?"
  Oz: "An exciting new obsession. Which I feel makes you very special."
  BTVS // The Zeppo

• Faith: "Tell me that if you don't get in a good slaying, you just start itching for some vamp to show up so you can give 'em a good UH!"
  BTVS // Bad Girls

• Giles: "Who said you could interrupt, you stupid, useless fad. Yeah, I said fad, and I'll say it again."
  BTVS // Gingerbread

• Faith: "So, it's about 118 degrees, and I'm sleeping without a stitch on. And all of a sudden I hear this screaming from outside. So I go tearing out, stark nude, and this church bus is broke down and there's these three vamps feasting on half the Baptists in South Boston. So I waste the vamps, and the preacher's comes up, and he's hugging me like there's no tomorrow when all of a sudden the cops pull up, and they arrested us both."
  Xander: "Wow. They should film that st